Bonnie Wee Lassie
Sweet Beaver
- Joined
- Dec 13, 1999
- Posts
- 1,442
Ok I just really liked this joke sorry if it offends anyone but trust no offence is to be given it is just a joke.
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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker
to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and
a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing,
for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under
the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would
inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they
would be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"
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Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, "look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to a great place of balance!"
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of the Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe will be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The archangel, impressed by God's work, pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada will be modest, intelligent, and humourous, and they're going to be hard working, sociable and high achieving. They're going to be found travelling the world, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud-mouthed power-hungry jerks I'm putting next door to them."
Heh if anyone else has one please share I am in a giddy mood today! Or if you want to flame go ahead also I have fire proof clothes on. LOL
------------------------------------------------------
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker
to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and
a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing,
for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under
the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would
inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they
would be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, "look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to a great place of balance!"
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of the Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe will be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The archangel, impressed by God's work, pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada will be modest, intelligent, and humourous, and they're going to be hard working, sociable and high achieving. They're going to be found travelling the world, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud-mouthed power-hungry jerks I'm putting next door to them."
Heh if anyone else has one please share I am in a giddy mood today! Or if you want to flame go ahead also I have fire proof clothes on. LOL
