JUDO's Gunfight Thread, the 4th

[Lauren Hynde]

Wednesday, July 21st at 9PM (GMT)* - one hour deadline.

POET 1: perks
POET 2: Liar

Judges:
- champagne1982
- Tristesse
- Eumenides

We need 1 more volunteer to be a judge. If you're interested, post here or PM me as soon as possible.

* Click here to see what time that will be on your part of the world.

 

[perks]

I can't believe people aren't frothing at the bit to tear apart my poetry. C'mon, cowpokes.

Liar, <drawls drunkenly a la that dude in cat ballou> you're in for it now, sugah.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

You have another judge, we only need one more! Don't be shy!

 

[Guest]

You have another judge, we only need one more! Don't be shy!

Okay - in a weak moment - I'll do it.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Okay - in a weak moment - I'll do it.

Ah! Gotcha!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

OK! All set for 48 hours from now.

 

[perks]

how is the tree hugger going to be able to judge anything having to do with a gunfight... oh, I forgot those greenpeace freaks are dangerous.

 

[Guest]

how is the tree hugger going to be able to judge anything having to do with a gunfight... oh, I forgot those greenpeace freaks are dangerous.

Don't rub the judges robe the wrong way, sugah.

 

[Liar]

Don't rub the judges robe the wrong way, sugah.

Which, pray tell, is the right way?

 

[perks]

Which, pray tell, is the right way?

I'm not supposed to rub the judges? I was just pokin... *puts away the six-gun strap on*

 

[Guest]

Which, pray tell, is the right way?

A downward motion is advised, the judge tends to wear skimpy underthings and doesn't take kindly to being exposed.


*perks at perks' 6-gun-strap-on*

 

[perks]

A downward motion is advised, the judge tends to wear skimpy underthings and doesn't take kindly to being exposed.


*perks at perks' 6-gun-strap-on*

I've no problem with the string pulled to the side. *strokes suggestively, spins barrel*

 

[Liar]

A downward motion is advised, the judge tends to wear skimpy underthings and doesn't take kindly to being exposed.


*perks at perks' 6-gun-strap-on*

*taking notes* Uh-huh. Anything else?

 

[Guest]

I've no problem with the string pulled to the side. *strokes suggestively, spins barrel*

Oh! That spinning barrel! You hussey! Trying to influence the judge.


*looks around suspiciously* Where are the other two?

 

[Guest]

*taking notes* Uh-huh. Anything else?

Talking of notes.......$$$$

Wait! - you're not on trial here, kindly leave my chambers!

 

[champagne1982]

Oh golly! What have we wrought? A Scandanavian and a tenderfoot city slicker in a shoot out. Now, where did I put that bulletproof vest?

She may only have it strapped on right now, Tristesse, but I'd be careful, encouraging Perks to unholster that puppy may get a little messy, what with stray bullets and all.

Then there's Liar, he only says he wants to watch . Surrrrrrrrre...

 

[perks]

Liar, m'dear I hyperchallenge you, babyla

a dusty stetson covered raven tresses
while shadowing her eyes against the sun
and strapped around her thigh a silver gun
it’s bullets born from Goethe’s Love’s Distresses

she stroked her weapon lovingly and slow
remembering how it had brought her here
experience dissolved from her all fear
while Auden’s blues brought power to her flow

her leathered feathers put on quite the show
distracting him the closer she drew near
he shivered as he watched the cowgirl draw

she challenged everything he ought to know
and shot at him with structure so severe
alliteration, addled him to awe

syllables confused him with their stresses
until his voice drew silent and undone
knowing he was beat before he’d won
he wondered at the sting of her successes

The moral of this story is the law
this cowgirl writes the poems, and you withdraw

 

[Liar]

As per request...

Perky is the gunslinger with the bestest nipples ever

on a deserted street
outside the tallyhop
across the dust
leaning lazily
at the barbershop
candy cane bar
i see

the mighty finest set
of frontal mounted bullet
sex shooter hooters
this side of Arizona
aimed straight at me

it's she perky hypnosis
infallable infatuation
transforming a duel
to a purgatory carnal
contemplation situation

a struggle of will
if you wish to kill
all masturbatory metaphor slinging
and worthless verb winging
and get minimal
on my ass

because here is a dandy
a gentleman in a world
of jagged montains
testosterone fountains
open spaces wind bitten faces
wanton wenches cowgirls chaos
lawless love affairs...

where the trajectory
of an aimed gun
makes all the difference

and mine shines
of polished silver and steel

but my too glittering to mention
infallible penis extention
may never even leave my hip...

...i shoot from the lip

spitting syllables
scattered stuttered
screwball similies
strayed and aimless
but with staggering speed

so perky my lass, we will see
random flux it may be
that decides if it's you
the both of us or me
that will bleed

 

[Angeline]

sorry Lauren et al, but I have to back out as a judge--i have to be at work early Thurday, and I'm working long hours so I'll prolly be pretty wiped out when I get home...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Sorry to hear that, Ange.

So, is there anyone out there to do the job? We need one more judge.

 

[perks]

Liar, you're magnificent!

 

[Eumenides]

I'll be a judge, iff'n you still need one.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Thank you.

 

[Angeline]

Sorry to hear that, Ange.

So, is there anyone out there to do the job? We need one more judge.

Thanks baby--I'm seriously exhausted here. You know it's bad when I'm too beat to write poems, lol.

 

[Angeline]

I'll be a judge, iff'n you still need one.

Thanks Ms. Zoomie!