Nobody Special's wife
Just Peeking
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2000
- Posts
- 2,702
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and
some days you're the statue.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot
at tax collectors, and miss.
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a
water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the
problem!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency
to be vague.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try
kick boxing.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat
until caught. Then lie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never eat yellow snow.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same
time, because then you don't have a leg to
stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your
time and annoys the pig.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so
sleep late.
There are very few personal problems that
cannot be solved through a suitable application
of high explosives.
When everything's coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.
some days you're the statue.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot
at tax collectors, and miss.
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a
water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the
problem!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency
to be vague.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try
kick boxing.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat
until caught. Then lie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never eat yellow snow.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same
time, because then you don't have a leg to
stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your
time and annoys the pig.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so
sleep late.
There are very few personal problems that
cannot be solved through a suitable application
of high explosives.
When everything's coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.
