Jesus

[Guest]

We all all know how babies are born.....so how can Jesus be born....and that too to a virgin.....that's not true biologically. I dis-agree completely.....or they are trying to hide some facts related to Jesus's birth.

 

[Spinaroonie]

The easiest explanation is that aliens abducted Mary while she was sleeping and put an alien or alien-enhanced human inside her. The star that guided her was a spaceship.

 

[badbabysitter]

Yayati

In christian mythology , mary giving birth was known as the Immacualte conception...hence her name was Virgin Mary.. she was supposed to be seeded from God

thats the official story

Plus there are extremely rare cases of women actually spontaneously becoming pregnant...roughly one in 10 million but it does happen

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Jesus loves you Yayati.

 

[Duckman PD]

WAS JESUS GOD'S NEPHEW? NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CHURCHES

"An Irish priest who has repeatedly stated he does not believe Jesus Christ was the son of God has resigned." — CNN, May 8, 2002

Elders and Parishioners Knew About, Covered Up Heretical Opinions

Dublin, Ireland (SatireWire.com) — In a scandal that promises to rock Anglican and Catholic churches, the resignation Wednesday of an Irish priest who long-believed Jesus was not the son of God has led to angry accusations against dozens of fellow clerics who allegedly have been telling their parishioners Jesus was more likely the nephew of God, the second cousin of God, or in one case, just a close family friend.

In New Orleans, La., parishioners say Father Dennis Bycewitz has been hinting that Jesus was adopted. Responds Bycewitz: "Maybe. I said maybe."
"I've kept this inside me for years, but growing up, our parish was led to believe that Jesus was somebody God knew from boarding school," asserted Padraig Mulroney, 38, of Dublin.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/may02/images/priest.jpg
In New Orleans, La., parishioners say Father Dennis Bycewitz has been hinting that Jesus was adopted. Responds Bycewitz: "Maybe. I said maybe."

"Our priest says Jesus was God's daughter, Eunice, who only happened to look very masculine due to a recurring problem with hirsutism," said Mary Clarke, 54, of Galway.

Asked why she hadn't stepped forward until now, Clarke blushed. "Facial hair is such an embarrassing issue for girls," she said. "We promised to say nothing about it."

More startling revelations came from parishioners in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston, who now claim the church has long covered up the problem. In one notorious case, a minister serving in Roxbury, Mass., during the 1980s openly told his followers that Jesus was the Duchess of Cornwall.

Instead of defrocking the cleric for his belief in the Duchess — who was then Princess Diana — critics allege he was quietly transferred to another parish, where church officials looked the other way when the singing of Agnus Dei was replaced by Elton John's greatest hits.


In light of the controversy, many churchgoers say they will now error on the side of caution when suspecting priestly transgressions. In Los Angeles, 29-year-old Julio Sanchez said his Episcopal priest has never actually stated that Jesus was not God's son, but he filed a complaint with diocesan elders anyway "because lately masses have ended with, 'In the name of the Father, His neighbor, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.'"

Accused members of the priesthood, meanwhile, have reacted by retreating into long bouts of introspection and prayer.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/may02/images/poll.jpg

"I used to believe Jesus was the son of God, but now I think he was probably just someone God saw at parties," said Church of Scotland Father Martin Kilgore of Glasgow. "I know the church does not support me in this, and so I will petition for guidance to Saint Anthony, who I believe is the same man who comes to read my gas meter once a month."

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

 

[70/30]

Jesus had full-blooded siblings (James the Just is the most historically prevalent). He might have been immaculately conceived but Mary was no lifetime virgin.

 

[Bigdog]

Plus there are extremely rare cases of women actually spontaneously becoming pregnant...roughly one in 10 million but it does happen

Could we have some documentation of this? Preferably something from a reputable source.

 

[phrodeau]

Could we have some documentation of this? Preferably something from a reputable source.

Parthenogenesis is observed in some species of amphibians, and among the dinosaurs in the movie "Jurassic Park".

I think we can trust a work of fiction to provide us with scientific facts, don't you?

 

[teddybear4play]

Parthenogenesis is observed in some species of amphibians, and among the dinosaurs in the movie "Jurassic Park".

I think we can trust a work of fiction to provide us with scientific facts, don't you?

I thought the "facts" in JP were that since the dinosaurs' DNA was filled in with frogs', and some frogs can switch genders in an all-one gender environment, there was some mating going on that the curators didn't know about.

Eh, I liked Ian Malcolm's explanation better: chaos theory and "life finds a way."

TB4p

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I think the whole jesus as the son of god thing was something they came up with after his death.

I do think he existed and was a great religious teacher.

The son of god? that's pushing it a bit too far for my personal belief system

 

[badbabysitter]

Being a recovering catholic, i've actually read the Bible

and no point did jesus ever state that he was the son of God..the closest is that hesays that hes the son of man

 

[teddybear4play]

Being a recovering catholic, i've actually read the Bible

and no point did jesus ever state that he was the son of God..the closest is that hesays that hes the son of man

Well, he never said he was the Son of God because they would have executed Him even sooner than they did.

God said that Jesus was His son at the baptism. And, I don't know, those miracles kinda make me think he was divine. Just a personal thing, though.

TB4p

 

[nike]

i saw this somewhere else, but when they call her the Virgin Mary, I dont think they meant sexually virgin. If I'm remembering correctly, it had to do with whether or a not a woman was dependant on a man or his land or Something along those lines...

 

[badbabysitter]

Once again...see above about Immacualte Conception

John baptized Jesus as the christ...technically all christ means is "the annoited one"