Jesus built my hot rod, but he can't drive it

[OhMissScarlett]

Jesus Christ in legal battle for driver's license

Mr. Christ's name on passport, but he faces challenge in W.Va.The Associated Press

Updated: 7:15 a.m. ET May 10, 2005CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Even Jesus Christ can’t circumvent the rules for getting a driver’s license in West Virginia.

Attempts to prove his name really is Christ have led the man born as Peter Robert Phillips Jr. through a lengthy legal battle and a recent victory in the District of Columbia Court of Appeals.

“This all started with him expressing his faith and his respect and love for Jesus Christ,” attorney A.P. Pishevar told The Associated Press. “Now he needs to document it for legal reasons.”

Described by his attorney as a white-haired businessman in his mid-50s, Christ is moving to West Virginia to enjoy a slower lifestyle. He bought property near Lost River, about 100 miles west of Washington, and has a U.S. passport, Social Security card and Washington driver’s license bearing the name Jesus Christ.

But he still falls short of West Virginia title and license transfer requirements because his Florida birth certificate has his original name on it and he has been unable to obtain an official name change in Washington.

“We just need official documentation that that’s his name,” said Doug Stump, commissioner of the West Virginia Division of Motor Vehicles. “He will be treated no different than anybody else.”

Christ applied for the legal name change in May 2003, but it was denied by District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Tim Murphy because “taking the name of Jesus Christ may provoke a violent reaction or may significantly offend people.”

In his appeal, Christ’s attorney argued that Phillips had changed his name to Jesus Christ 15 years earlier, and “has been using the name since then without incident.”

The appeals court last month sent the name-change proposal back to the lower court, saying some required hearings in the case had not been held.

Any comment from the man in the middle of this legal tussle?

“Christ is not speaking to the press at this time,” Pishevar said.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

--"Christ is not speaking to the press at this time,” Pishevar said--

Well duh. The media is evil remember?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

this just confirms my opinion that the DMV is also evil.

 

[R. Richard]

But he still falls short of West Virginia title and license transfer requirements because his Florida birth certificate has his original name on it and he has been unable to obtain an official name change in Washington.

“We just need official documentation that that’s his name,” said Doug Stump, commissioner of the West Virginia Division of Motor Vehicles. “He will be treated no different than anybody else.”

Christ applied for the legal name change in May 2003, but it was denied by District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Tim Murphy because “taking the name of Jesus Christ may provoke a violent reaction or may significantly offend people.”

I don't see anything wrong with the West Virginia DMV. They are enforcing rules that make sense. If people have a problem with the situation, the culprit seems to be District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Tim Murphy.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I don't see anything wrong with the West Virginia DMV. They are enforcing rules that make sense. If people have a problem with the situation, the culprit seems to be District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Tim Murphy.

I suppose that's right, I only thought it was amusing. Just think, if the real Jesus suddenly came back, he'd have to have proper documentation too.

I could see them at the DMV in my town:
"Well, if you really are Jesus, then you should've known there'd be an hour wait!"

 

[minsue]

I'm with R on this one. His name has not been legally changed, it appears, which makes it rather disturbing to me that he was able to get a driver license, passport, and social security card all with a fake name in our nation's capital with apparent ease. I suppose we all just need to pray that Christ isn't a terrorist.

 

[rgraham666]

I could see them at the DMV in my town:
"Well, if you really are Jesus, then you should've known there'd be an hour wait!"

To which Jesus would reply, "You want to be afflicted with boils?"

 

[minsue]

Dammit, Scarlett. I've been humming 'Jesus Wrote a Blank Check' for the past 20 minutes and can't get it out of my head now.

.....I hope I've got a little more time, I hope it's not the end of the line. Oh, Jesus wrote a blank check, one I haven't cashed yet.....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

To which Jesus would reply, "You want to be afflicted with boils?"

I don't even think that would phase the mean guy with the bad toupee.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Dammit, Scarlett. I've been humming 'Jesus Wrote a Blank Check' for the past 20 minutes and can't get it out of my head now.

.....I hope I've got a little more time, I hope it's not the end of the line. Oh, Jesus wrote a blank check, one I haven't cashed yet.....

LMAO!

*singing*
What if God was one of us...just a stranger on a bus...

okay, no more, I promise
well, there is "Jesus Walking On The Water" by The Violent Femmes

 

[Guest]

Is his middle initial "H"?

Just curious.

 

[minsue]

LMAO!

*singing*
What if God was one of us...just a stranger on a bus...

okay, no more, I promise
well, there is "Jesus Walking On The Water" by The Violent Femmes

Neither worked. Cake still has hold of my brain. At least I don't have work today. There are a few people in cubes next to mine that would be highly offended if I got lost in thought and started signing it under my breath.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Is his middle initial "H"?

Just curious.

No, it's F. Stands for Fucking.

 

[minsue]

No, it's F. Stands for Fucking.

You're so going to hell.

 

[carsonshepherd]

You're so going to hell.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

You're so going to hell.

And we can all keep him company.

 

[minsue]

And we can all keep him company.

Speak for yourself, Ducky Dolly. I plan to live forever.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Woohoo! I'll get a good party planner lined up...

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Speak for yourself, Ducky Dolly. I plan to live forever.

I was to, but that whole 'earth falling into the sun' thing sounds scarry. There isn't enough Aloe in the world to thke care of that kinda sunburn.

 

[minsue]

I was to, but that whole 'earth falling into the sun' thing sounds scarry. There isn't enough Aloe in the world to thke care of that kinda sunburn.

Come down here for a while. You'll learn to mock the sun.

 

[minsue]

Woohoo! I'll get a good party planner lined up...

Only a gay man.....Sorry, can't stop laughing. I'll behave one of theses days.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Come down here for a while. You'll learn to mock the sun.

Sorry, no can do. Burn & Peel baby. There wouldn't be anything left of me except dried bones in less than a week.

 

[minsue]

Sorry, no can do. Burn & Peel baby. There wouldn't be anything left of me except dried bones in less than a week.

I feel your pain. Daily.

 

[Guest]

I hate to interupt the hijack by getting back on subject, but....

Here in Ohio they demand proof of identity to issue a drivers licence with two forms of ID. One must be a photo ID, one must have you SSN. If you walk into the DMV here and show a passport and a SS card, you got your drivers licence. Both of those are legal ID issued by a government agency.

If the DMV won't accept that as legal identification then someone needs to beat some sense into the DMV.

EDIT: All you need to do to change your name legally is go to the Social Security office and request a new card. The form will ask you for any changes in your name. I did it when I dropped my first name.