Jeasus, General!

[JackLuis]

Found this and wish I had written it. I wish I could have written it.

Grand Snark Railroad on a stick!

The Opinion "Eventually, America's politically active conservative Christians will run out of things to be breathtakingly stupid about" has died from complications arising from COPD, congestive heart failure, emphysema, cerebral hypoxia, obstructive bowel disorder, pericardial tamponade, aortic aneurysm, pneumonia, heat exhaustion and acute logorrhea. The Opinion had no exact age, but was believed to be old enough to drink and cry during sex.

Born in the fever dreams of 17th Century Europe's most spastic pilgrims it left home with few material goods and came to the New World, killing natives who had somehow avoided being bored to death by the newcomer's theology, a theology that posited (paraphrased) 'A loving but sometimes moody god has a special covenant with a tribe of Semites, and He gave them rules and miracles and a nice chunk of real estate, and yes, He also killed millions of people from time to time, and then He had a change of heart and had sanitized sexual congress with a virgin, from which union was made a super-baby who grew up to be a blood sacrifice as part of a new covenant, a messiah who will one day return to the earth and beat the ever-loving shit out of anyone who doesn't buy this extremely serious historical narrative.'

 

[JackLuis]

It's not sinning if you hold onto her ears
Posted by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

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Does it help if you moan a little?