Jealousy as it handled in Loving Wife / Cuckold categories

[influx]

Some thoughts as I read comments on another "unfaithful wife" story...

Does anyone feel the way that I do, that jealousy is really not handled realistically or well in so many of these stories, even as far as fantasies go. Some people literally get angry at "cuckold" stories, but I think I feel the same way about "cheating wife" stories. The wife falls into one of two stereotypes (pathetically faithful, or over-the-top slutty), guy looks way more hypocritical and pathetic than a cuckold even though he gets his "revenge," and it's disturbing. A tiring element of all these stories is that the narrator, also, presents himself as Mr. Perfect and it's just his wife that's "crazy."

Also, these "lovers on the side" plots often involve a really tiring racist element. I think everyone needs to cool it on writing racist interracial fantasies even if they are just "fantasies" — as you can see by many of the comments to these stories, they incite racist remarks from some commentors which are just sickening. Goes to show that even "fantasies" have the power to reinforce racist norms that sexualize racism. Yeah I know there's ways to argue that these stories are not racist, but come on, when you see black "gangbangers" (in both senses) show up story after story, you sort of want to say "what's up," can we portray black folks as something other than violent thugs and rapists.

Overall, it would just be way sexier to have complex stories (or even simple stories) where a marriage just doesn't work out because of the side action, or some kind of "arrangement" evolves. Maybe I just need to write my own stories... I've read a lot, and I just think there needs to be better handling of jealousy in all of Literoticaland.

 

[wehstar]

You have a point, but maybe your taking it a bit far. People want to use stereotypes in their fantasies, and nor do they want to mess their fantasies up with emotional baggage. Don't ask my why, I'm not a psychologist, they just do.

 

[emap]

Not to mention many of the authors of those so called loving wife stories are not exactly bright when it comes to writing.

Though I do have to point out, while it is a stereotype that black men are dirty, hung like a horse and violent, there are enough of them running around right this second to make it more a fact of life than a stereotype. Granted it's not more than half, probably less though the normal everyday law abiding ones don't get in the news. Which more or less strengthens the stereotype into a common knowledge type thing.

Not that it should of course, though since most people are along the lines of if it is on TV it means they are all like that, it does. Especially in the south I am sad to say, there in many parts it is still if a black man, woman, or family move into a neighborhood/apartment complex they just 'ruined' the neighborhood. Not because they are black of course, oh no if you ask they deny it outright, it is because of their friends. I don't understand it, but the new neighbor is a good family/person, their friends on the other hand are all gun toting drug selling losers and we don't want those types in this neighborhood. Even in the area's where everybody has a shotgun in the truck.

Really makes me ashamed to say I am from the south.

 

[sexymom]

I think the racial issue, and maybe some of the whole "loving wives" thing, comes from the principle that we are often both attracted to and repelled by the forbidden.

What I look for in cuckold stories, and rarely find, is situations where the wife understands her husband better than he understands himself. She sets out to find a lover, discussing her progress with him at every step along the way (she deliberately drags this process out for a month or more, to prepare her husband emotionally).

Maybe it's revenge for a short affair that hubby had, but anyway she enjoys watching him struggle with his emotions as the affair develops.

 

[Jennylo]

I think most people read the Loving Wives story because they can identify with the subject. Either you're married, have been married or know someone that has been married. For this same reason, when they can not identify with the characters, the plot, the emotional aspect, actions and reactions, the reader will either feel betrayed or sympathetic towards the conflict and resolution of the plot. Thus the positive or negative feedback. I tend to read them for the emotional content, which regretfully, most times is missing. I don't need the revenge aspect. But I guess most readers do because they have been burned, and for them, it's a pretty hot button. In fact, the comments of these tales (sometimes) can become more interesting than the story itself...

 

[Mansa Musa]

There´s too much thinking in this thread. Can´t we all appreciate the idea of slutty women? That being said, I would love to read a story about "revenge".
A happily married man cheats on his wife, but he learns that the woman was sent by a guilt-ridden husband, contrite about having an affair with the first man´s wife. It even works on a racial standpoint, as there are quite a few white men interested on experiencing a black woman.

 

[JADED_ONE1969]

...................!

..............................!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

BUT I will still read these type of stories in the hope that justice for the wronged partner will be seen to be done.

Way to take one for the team, there, GW...

 

[sr71plt]

I'm still trying to fathom how a writer can really get a good story with tension out of a genuine "Loving Wives" category story--that isn't totally insipid, at least. Most of the plots I see used in the category aren't anything close to a "loving wife" set up. I do think I've thought of a possible plotline that fits after a whole lot of thinking and am working on that--but this seems a pretty false, uninteresting, and plebian category to me for storywriting.

 

[emap]

I think most of the problems found in writing a loving wives category story is the simple fact that it is not loving wife stories, it is stories about a wife who screws other men, generally not with the approval of hubby. If you want to find a wife and husband having loving sex, look in erotic couplings.

I've not written a story in loving wives so I don't know though I have heard that if a story that is not about a wife cuckolding her husband the writer gets all 1 votes and a ton of hate mail. Is it just me or is that particular category taken way off the intended path?

Side note, sr71 I thought you just did gay male, or is that your plotline?

 

[sr71plt]

Side note, sr71 I thought you just did gay male, or is that your plotline?

Nah, first, I'm bi, so it's not just about Gay Male with me. I'll bet I have 40 stories (including a full novel) on Lit. that are in some category other than Gay Male. I write quite a few straight ones too, but many of them I can put into the mainstream and don't have to post them on an erotica Web site to get them out there. That's why most of mine on Lit. are GM. I even write lesbian, though--and have an E for one of those here.

And when I find the time, I do think I've devised a plotline that will hold up as "loving wife" without being blah.

Later: Yep, 46 stories here that aren't Gay Male.

 

[emap]

Attention whore.

 

[sr71plt]

Attention whore.

You asked.

 

[JADED_ONE1969]

..................

 

[kingarthur65]

Loving Wives is my favorite category. I check it for new stories every time I come to this site. I have fantasized about watching my girl being pleasured by a larger dick for a long time. It's fun fantasy and role play. I know a lot of people send hate mail to the writers in this category, but there are some good stories in there as well. A shy wife that grudgingly agrees that having sex with a man that has a much larger tool than she normally gets and then agrees to a threesome is always a great story on this site.

 

[JRaven]

Having once made the mistake of posting to Loving Wives, I've come to one conclusion that I haven't seen here.

I think a lot of the negative feedback comes from men that have been cheated on. They beat themselves up mentally by reading stories of cheating wives. Then they strike back at the author for the hurt that the story has renewed.

At least, that's the opinion I've formed from reading some of the feedback on my story and a few others.

Jenny

 

[gsmith129]

A happily married man cheats on his wife, but he learns that the woman was sent by a guilt-ridden husband, contrite about having an affair with the first man´s wife. It even works on a racial standpoint, as there are quite a few white men interested on experiencing a black woman.

Have you written or read a story like this? I like this scenario!

 

[gsmith129]

Having once made the mistake of posting to Loving Wives, I've come to one conclusion that I haven't seen here.

I think a lot of the negative feedback comes from men that have been cheated on. They beat themselves up mentally by reading stories of cheating wives. Then they strike back at the author for the hurt that the story has renewed.

At least, that's the opinion I've formed from reading some of the feedback on my story and a few others.

Jenny

I think you are right. It's a form of self torture. I think they need a good Dom!

 

[H piltdown]

We openned two stories up to public feedback. Only one recieved more than a couple of comments, probably because it actually had the word 'cuckold' in the title. Anyway, a few of the comments appeared overly moralistic for this site, immature or in one case, I honestly doubt if the critic actually read the story. The strangest thing for us was that the negative comments attacked us personnally, and pretended to understand our lives. We could only laugh at how far from reality they were.

It appears that some people do not understand the meaning of fantasy, confuse fantasy with real life and believe people involved in alternative lifestyles cannot act even moderately responsible.

We can't fathom the reasons for the extreme negativity, but we can take solace in the fact that misplaced moralizing and childish intolerance is always good for a hearty laugh.