Jaded? Callous or right to be Suspicious?

[English Lady]

Well, I run a chat message board which is a spin off from one of the large consumer opinions sites over here. Last night we had a thread started about one of this other sites big name members; asking what happened to her as hse'd not posted in ages and her account had been closed.

I got a request to shut that thread down for no apparent reason (which i though was suspicious)and then someone posted a link back to a review someone had written on the consumer site . A Poem in the memory(RIP) of this other member.


Now My husband and I both reacted the exact same way "yeah right!" We both instantly thought it was a con, a publicity stunt, a general fabrication. but I've been thinking over that reaction.

There is nothing but rumour out there right now, no one knew her in reality and no one is saying anything specific. she however always was in the thick of controversy and well this just strikes me as the sick kind of thing she might just pull. Also the last "about me" message on her profile said she would be away from the site for the forseeable future...


Anyhow do you think I am being cynical? I would feel completely mortified if it were somehow proved that indeed she had passed away....but then in this online world we only have rumour and hear say.

I know this isn't an authorly question dear friends, but humour me would ya Tell me your thoughts and experiences of online "tricksters"


Oh maybe it would be helpful for you to know that my first online "boyfriend" later turned out to possibly be a young girl who just pretended to be this guy...I think that might be affecting my vision here*L*

 

[cantdog]

Jeez, El, you're being so darn circumspect about naming names that I can barely make out the question at all.

I have no idea who you mean, nor, therefore, any specifics of the case. You have, with me, completely succeeded in hiding that, so that's all right.

But with no data, how can anyone apply judgement?

Sure, it's possible the identity refers to a person now dead. It's possible it refers to a person now posting but only the identity is dead; that is, the handle is no longer in use, and the person is now gloating, basking in the eulogies he or she is now receiving in his or her role as a sadly departed friend.

Or anything. We've all seen some silly mind games on BBSes and whatnot all over the 'net; much is possible. So you're right not to rule that sort of shenanigan out.

But I can't go any further than that with no data. Even if we could judiciously weigh all the evidence right out in the open, we'd still just be speculating.

But what the hell. I think, at least, what you're actually fishing for is other, specific examples of class A scams.

See the glory, as Becker and Fagin remark, of the royal scam. My best such story is a little raw for this genteel place, where all we do is talk about fucking. But it was a doozy. I hope someone has some good ones they can actually tell.

 

[cantdog]

I have another one that happened in my dorm at college, without a 'net, if you can forgive the pun.

I'll give you that tomorrow, I promise. I need sleep.

 

[English Lady]

cantdog.

I can't really go into specifics...well you can understand that.

I just want some peoples general feelings...are you cynical in your online delings?


night and sleep well btw

 

[Guest]

G'morning, El. I'm off to bed in a sec, but saw this thread. I too don't get it all but I'm here to say you're not at all a cynical type to me (you're one of the dearest people I've met online). Go with your feelings and then leave them be. Don't be sad or mad for no reason.

best to you, Perdita

 

[English Lady]

Cheers Perdita I'm not generally cynical and i do usually trust my feelings...I guess we'll see what we see in the end.

I've edited my top post to (hopefully) sound a little less confusing*L*

 

[snooper]

Something similar happened on here a while ago. A suicide note was posted on the GB and lots of people went ballistic trying to sort out if it was real. At least one kind soul spent a fortune on transatlantic telephone calls trying to alert the poster's employers and the police in (his)her home town.

A couple of weeks later up (s)he popped saying (s)he was just upset with (his)her SO.

Hoaxes do happen. On the other hand people do die. The worst thing about boards is that it is usually impossible to check the validity of anything posted.

 

[English Lady]

Hoaxes do happen. On the other hand people do die. The worst thing about boards is that it is usually impossible to check the validity of anything posted.

That is the point really. I've had a discussion with on of my moderators who thinks the same as me. I'm just going to keep out of it as far as I can I think.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Hey el,

Who is sitting at the keyboard, behind the nick? You just never know. After a while, it really ceases to be important, if you become freinds, but the question of how like the Sn the person is will always nag at the back of your head.

If the thread on your board is defameing someone and you have credible evidence He/she has passed away, you would probably remove it. With internet personalities, the definition of credible becomes pretty murky.

My understanding of false personalities is that they are terribly hard to keep up. Og had some trouble keeping jeannie separate until April fools. The possibility exists your person just got tired and gave up on it and the person requesting the removal of the thread could actually be him/her under a new name.

With so many possibilities out there, I don't think you have a responsibility to try and sift through it all. If the person has passed and someone comes to you with credibile evidence this is so, you might feel a need to act. But as long as you are dealing with rumor you are probably best not getting involved.

just my 2 cents.

-Colly

 

[Belegon]

EL, I am actually pretty cynical about online, and I am also pretty private about things that are RL. It might not sound like it when I am here, but remember that I have been here for about 18 months now and formed some relationships. Anyone who knows anything about my RL from here should take it as a compliment of the highest order....

I would say do what I think you are already doing...proceed with caution and take nothing for granted

 

[English Lady]

Colly and Belegon -yup I'm keeping a respectable distance from it all. I just keep an eye out to make sure nothing nasty is posted and I am leaving it at that. A few other people have voiced suspicions to me...so least i don't feel like i'm the only jaded one out here*L*

 

[cantdog]

wowie

.

edited. sorry, wrong thread

 

[English Lady]

No Problem Cantdog....nice full stop you've got there *L*

 

[cantdog]

hi

So I guess you don't need the war stories after all, EL. You really needed a little nudge to be cynical.

I don't like cynicism, myself. When I don't know who to trust, I like to trust them all if I can. I would be unembarrassed if I were suckered into an expression of genuine concern in some online con. My generous impulse to service to another human being is nothing to be ashamed of. So, if there really is no reason to be suspicious, if there seems to be no smell of rat, then I'd say respond from the heart.

cantdog

 

[English Lady]

Ahh the problem is cantdog it does smell of rat....the further on into the day i go the more rat i smell. I'm keeping clear. I just don't like being cynical. it's not me at all and I'd hate to think it was showing a general trend in the way i'm thinking.

Now I don't think it was...it was just me listening to my common sense which is something i am proud to say i do quite a bit.

I'm not so fussed about it now...I shall see what comes to light. as something will sooner or later.