"Jack And Jane" - My attempt at humorous erotic poetry

[JUDO]

This just came to me driving me car back from the gym early yesterday. I don't know where it came from, but I had this image of a couple who just couldn't get it done.

And the humor that might come (no pun intended) from that.

It has a sort've 'Casey at the bat' kind of feel and I believe that helps. Usually I get bogged down by strict rhyming schemes, but this one just seemed to work out.

It's called "Jack And Jane":
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=19641

Please let me know what you think. Who knows when the Muse will stick her tongue that deeply in my ear again?

- Judo

 

[JUDO]

Hmmm...

So, 76 views of this thread and no replies, no feedback. I guess either you really hated it or really ignored it.

Ah, well...
- Judo

 

[Caitlyn O'Shame]

Well, I thought it was hilarious. I loved it.

C.

 

[JUDO]

Yeh!

C -

Well thanks Caitlyn. And a very big welcome to the Lit Boards. Hope everything goes well for you here.

Anybody else??? ~Shamelessly begs on hands and knees~


- Judo

 

[starwalker_az]

Judo,

I know I said you needed to study haiku or limericks to help with your handling of cadence. I still say that, even though the other portions of the poem were quite engaging. Then I read some of your other work, and got blown away. I am quite impressed, and feel you have a future as a writer. I will be watching for more of your work.