I've been pondering...

[PacificBlue]

I've been dating and/or going out with new people quite a bit as of late. More than is usual for me. I *thought* that perhaps because I was losing weight that I was becomming un-invisible. Some of the experiences have been good and worth repeating others have been painful lessons. I find myself excited and scared all at the same time a lot lately. Interestingly enough...I've been more willing to jump off the edge of my pier instead of standing there admiring the water...wondering about the pirana that could lurk beneath.

Two weeks ago...I went out with a new friend. We went for ice cream and I struck up conversation with the clerk. He was older than I and pretty flirty. I kept up his banter. As we left the store, my friend says...have you noticed that people just talk to you, it's like they want to know you. I never have conversations with complete strangers and you do it all the time and they talk back with more than yes or no answers. I looked at my friend dumbfounded.

Yesterday...the point was made to me that perhaps it isn't about my losing weight that I don't feel invisible anymore. That maybe I just held people off at arms length because of my own insecurity with my body...I made the choice for them to reject me first before I even let them get to know me.

Although I'm enjoying losing weight (see thread about new clothes) maybe I also need to work on changing my perspective a bit?!?!?

 

[Ezarc]

Dear PacificBlue,
Losing weight can help you break out of a rut.(I should know after losing over 80 lbs since the separation) But If you are doing other things in you life to make you feel happy that also shines through. Sometimes when you are feeling good about yourself others will notice and be drawn to that like a moth to the flame. For whatever the reason, enjoy, love yourself and and the beauty life has to offer.
Take Care and Lust Always,
Ezarc

 

[Lovepotion69]

Yesterday...the point was made to me that perhaps it isn't about my losing weight that I don't feel invisible anymore. That maybe I just held people off at arms length because of my own insecurity with my body...I made the choice for them to reject me first before I even let them get to know me.

Although I'm enjoying losing weight (see thread about new clothes) maybe I also need to work on changing my perspective a bit?!?!?

PacificBlue,
I personally believe it's all about how you view yourself. Sometimes we tend to view ourselves in a certain ways that will make us, unconsciously, keep people at a distance. It can be for various reasons, insecurity about your body is just one of many.

I think that we all need to at times just stop up and reflect on who we are and who we want to be. Sometimes even how we want to be perceived, though you should always stay true to who you are. Don't change for anyone but yourself, but realise at times in your life that a change may be needed.

There were parts of me that made people not want to approach me. My mom pointed them out to me, and it did hurt at first, but it also made me think. It takes a while to get out of certain habits at times, but I've worked with myself, and feel much better now.

Perhaps you unconsciously did have issues regarding your body that made you build a wall around you, but now that you've recognised this, just sit down an reflect on it. You already seem to have gotten out of your shell, and that's great! Just keep enjoying your 'new' you.

/LP

 

[patient1]

"I've been pondering"

Right Brain, but how will we take over the world without the super-power of invisibillity?


Or was this about "the randomness of life"?

 

[truegentleman]

People can sense when you have confidence in yourself and that helps make you more approachable. It is not just the outside of the person that attracts people Confidence is one of the sexxiest qualities that a person can have.

A smile can make all sorts of things possible.

 

[enjoyingitall]

People can sense when you have confidence in yourself and that helps make you more approachable. It is not just the outside of the person that attracts people Confidence is one of the sexxiest qualities that a person can have.

A smile can make all sorts of things possible.

I was about to post something just like that.

The way we present ourselves to others has so much to do with how they respond to us and how we interact with them. If they see you (not just physically) as someone they would want to talk with, it comes through and you probably gain even more confidence to interact with them.

 

[PacificBlue]

Re: "I've been pondering"

Right Brain, but how will we take over the world without the super-power of invisibillity?


Or was this about "the randomness of life"?

Ok...I'm not sharing my cookies with you tonight.

 

[patient1]

Re: Re: "I've been pondering"

Ok...I'm not sharing my cookies with you tonight.

I only wanted you for your smile anyway,not your cookies

 

[PacificBlue]

Re: Re: Re: "I've been pondering"

I only wanted you for your smile anyway,not your cookies

*blush* thank you

 

[Ice Cold]

What ever the reason PB, I am glad things are turning around for you. Sometimes as you mentioned, it isn't always the external changes as much as it is the internal. Good luck.