It's that time of year again

[KRCummings]

That's right, it's time for the Ohio State/Michigan game. I know you're all so excited about it.
Once again it looks as if the Buckeyes will prevail against a Michigan team that...well, they suck. No need to be nice about it.
That's sort of a bummer because it's always better when it's a real game. At least it's in Michigan so those mouth breathers can watch their team go down in person instead of on the moving pictures machine at the general store like they usually do.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I don't care much about Ohio State (or THE State), but Rodriguez is a scum sucking traitor who should be eviscerated.

So I'm rooting for OSU.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Sports fans paint their faces and wear foam rubber fingers -- so I won't watch sports.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I've already gone and fucked myself, so think of something else.

 

[TANG GOD]

forcier is an exciting qb to watch. like him much better than tim teBLOW form florida.

 

[imharmless69]

It's a good thing OSU's in the Rose Bowl, too, because it makes it less likely they get their ass kicked by an SEC team.

 

[TANG GOD]

Sports fans paint their faces and wear foam rubber fingers -- so I won't watch sports.

you don't complain about painted faces on women with thier finger up your ass.

 

[KRCummings]

I don't care much about Ohio State (or THE State), but Rodriguez is a scum sucking traitor who should be eviscerated.

So I'm rooting for OSU.

Yes, many people feel that way about him. Seems that Michigan is the perfect spot for such a person.

 

[KRCummings]

It's a good thing OSU's in the Rose Bowl, too, because it makes it less likely they get their ass kicked by an SEC team.

Yes, that whole thing has been covered extensively over the past couple years. Let's move on.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Yes, many people feel that way about him. Seems that Michigan is the perfect spot for such a person.

WVU is my second favorite college football team

 

[KRCummings]

WVU is my second favorite college football team

What's with you and liking shitty teams?

 

[JohnnySavage]

What's with you and liking shitty teams?

Listen - the Blue Jays finished 8-2 and are in the NCAA play-offs on Saturday!

They play Hampden-Sydney at noon, in case you want to watch.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

you don't complain about painted faces on women with thier finger up your ass.

Actually I do complain about painted women doing anything. I think anything but a gentle base should be reserved for clowns.

 

[KRCummings]

Listen - the Blue Jays finished 8-2 and are in the NCAA play-offs on Saturday!

They play Hampden-Sydney at noon, in case you want to watch.

Ya know, there's some kind of press blackout here for that game. All the Johns Hopkins fans here are really upset about it. Both of them.

 

[imharmless69]

Yes, that whole thing has been covered extensively over the past couple years. Let's move on.

Awww, hell, anybody that kicks Rich Rodriquez's ass is okay in my book. Go Buckeyes.

 

[trysail]

It is a well-known fact that I am not a fan of "professional" college football, viewing it as a large and seminal corrupting influence in our culture. It is, in short, a colossal racket. College football coaches making million-dollar salaries, football athletic "scholarships", athletic recruiting, and the fact that the colleges serve as free farm leagues for the NFL are every bit as sickening and obscene to me as the felonious rip-off artists of Wall Street.

Lest you conclude that I am a completely humorless S.O.B. ( I am a S.O.B., but like to think that I'm, at least, not humorless ), here's a vignette that is representative of the regard with which college football was held at the college I attended.

The "cheerleaders" ( all male, as was the student body of the time ) were always completely drunk ( at least that's what the administration and alumni presumed rather than contemplating the strong likelihood that certain other controlled substances were hard at work ). In preparation for game day, the grassy area in front of the home stands was transformed into a mud bog by copious applications of water. The "cheerleaders" ( a motley crew to begin with ), generally attired in diverse white or denim coveralls and equipped with an assorted collection of douche bags, hot water bottles, megaphones and enema bags suspended from sticks assembled in front of the stands. They inaugurated their performance with a cacaphonous, completely unchoreographed whooping and hollaring closely resembling primal therapy. This was followed by a series of anarchic grunts, general noise-making, mayhem and ad hoc cheers— the most memorable of which was the rhythmic chant:

Kill, maim, destroy!
Rape, pillage and burn!​

As the game progressed, things degenerated. By the end of the third quarter, amply fortified by multiple applications of alcohol ( and god knows what else ), mud-sliding commenced. Like broad jumpers, our stalwart and fearless "cheerleaders" would take running starts from the 10-yard line or thereabouts and plunge headlong into the mud-pit with the apparent object of sliding the furtherest or burrowing the deepest.

Halftimes featured the school band, a forlorn and discordant group equipped with an assortment of kazoos, Jew's harps and harmonicas. It is possible that that they once struck a uniform chord or produced a recognizeable tune but not within my memory.

The football game itself was largely ignored by the spectators. I have always maintained the highest regard for the players. Over the years, that regard has done nothing but grow. Theirs was as pure a spirit as you're likely to find, seeing that there was never any doubt that their participation was entirely ascribable to love of the sport— very clearly, no consideration was given for current or future emolument.

 

[Wrong Element]

forcier is an exciting qb to watch. like him much better than tim teBLOW form florida.

They should take bets on what quarter that twerpy drama queen will limp off the field with an "injury," only to dramatically reappear on the next drive.

UM is a LAST PLACE TEAM. Mwhahahahahaha! Even at our lowest point, we've never sucked so hard. And they needed some serious home cooking from the officials to win their one conference game this year.

I can safely say that the thrill of beating the shit out of these misbegotten mutants will never pass.

 

[trysail]

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130018970


Sweetness and Light
by Frank Deford
Senior Contributing Writer, Sports Illustrated
In College, Maybe Everybody IS Doing It: Cheating
September 22, 2010

There are certain things I simply don't believe. For example, when I see a sign that says "Aircraft Patrolling For Speeders" — I don't believe it. When someone quits, saying he's become a "distraction" — I don't believe it. It's because he did something wrong.

I don't believe anything anybody tells me about their grandchildren. And I don't believe anything the NCAA tells me about the academic records of student-athletes. I think there is much, much more cheating in the classroom than the NCAA knows about ... or wants to know about.

It's the old business of garbage in/garbage out. The various colleges — which is to say, the various athletic departments — report grades to the NCAA, which accepts them prima facie. How can the NCAA ever tell if some stooge is taking a test for an athlete; if some tutor is writing a term paper for an athlete; if some professor is dishing out passing grades to the failing athletes he cheers for?

As Bob Knight, the retired basketball coach, says: If the NCAA had been in charge of Normandy, we would've attacked Greece, and given our soldiers all the wrong ammunition.

Consider the way the most recent academic scandal, at the University of North Carolina, was — shall we generously say — uncovered. The NCAA was investigating more obvious charges, that the Tar Heel players were dealing with agents, when it just blindly stumbled across the classroom shenanigans.

And last week, it was a newspaper, The Birmingham News, that uncovered the fact that a Kentucky basketball player, Eric Bledsoe, had gotten into school with a doctored transcript.

We could expect academic monkey business at Kentucky, because the basketball coach there, John Calipari, has already skipped out of two other colleges after serious violations scarred the programs on his watch. But the Carolina revelations are the more distressing, because it is one of the finest state universities in the nation.

Even the bleeding hearts among us can only conclude that if they're cheating at Chapel Hill, athletic academic fraud must be truly commonplace.

"Look," a Division I athletic director tells me candidly, "any big college, you can hide players, you can hide stuff."

Saddest of all, when some courageous academics have dared blow the whistle — at places like Tennessee, Ohio State and Minnesota — they've all too often been castigated as tattletales. Hey, professor, get on the team.

I'll never forget a tutor from a big-time school literally crying on the phone to me as he confessed to his part in the corruption of athletics. He felt especially ashamed because it was his alma mater. "They tell me everybody does it," he said. "Is that really true?"

If it makes you feel any better, I replied, yeah, probably — probably just about everybody. There are no referees in big-time college classrooms.

 

[Morcheeba]

Yeah, I know this is a 14 month or so old thread, but the other morning I heard some hilarious banter about the Buckeyes on an AM radio sports program.

The guy was jacked up on either a pot of coffee or Red Bulls (or... something) and asked what a buckeye was. He then read texts telling him that it was a tree. So he went off saying, "Ooooh, what a program! Watch out for the big bad Trees!" and other stuff. It reads so stupid but he was rather hysterical.

Then he read more texts saying it was a NUT from a tree. That info didn't help matters as he continued to goof on nuts from trees and why a team would utilize such as, "Oooh, you go tree nuts! You go!"

Finally he read a text: "It's a poisonous nut from a tree." That's when he piped down a bit and soon Jay Mohr replaced him.

 

[Luk]

Yeah, I know this is a 14 month or so old thread, but the other morning I heard some hilarious banter about the Buckeyes on an AM radio sports program.

The guy was jacked up on either a pot of coffee or Red Bulls (or... something) and asked what a buckeye was. He then read texts telling him that it was a tree. So he went off saying, "Ooooh, what a program! Watch out for the big bad Trees!" and other stuff. It reads so stupid but he was rather hysterical.

Then he read more texts saying it was a NUT from a tree. That info didn't help matters as he continued to goof on nuts from trees and why a team would utilize such as, "Oooh, you go tree nuts! You go!"

Finally he read a text: "It's a poisonous nut from a tree." That's when he piped down a bit and soon Jay Mohr replaced him.

Are you trying to be funny? Because that was Jay Mohr filling in for The Pimp in the Box. And yeah, it was pretty damn good.

 

[Morcheeba]

Are you trying to be funny? Because that was Jay Mohr filling in for The Pimp in the Box. And yeah, it was pretty damn good.

No way was it him during the Buckeye stuff. He constantly screams his name over and over reminding you that you're listening to him. The dude doing the Buckeye stuff didn't. Thought his name was Jim.

Btw, when Jay Mohr came on he said his wife is the funniest person in the world. I share June 2nd bdates with her and my boobs are perfect compared to her hack job.

 

[Luk]

No way was it him during the Buckeye stuff. He constantly screams his name over and over reminding you that you're listening to him. The dude doing the Buckeye stuff didn't. Thought his name was Jim.

Btw, when Jay Mohr came on he said his wife is the funniest person in the world. I share June 2nd bdates with her and my boobs are perfect compared to her hack job.

It was Jay, I listened to all three hours. "Jim" is Jim Rome, regular host of the show but Jay was filling in because Rome was in Memphis.

 

[Morcheeba]

Well, I sit corrected I guess. Just that I KNOW Jay's voice from all the times he's been on Stern. At least I thought I did. Oh well, I believe you. His buckeye stuff was fucking hilarious. For some reason I thought it was from a local sports station which is precisely why I backspaced LOCAL in my initial post because I thought that would make you, from Ohio, crap on ditzy Floridian AM radio dudes.

Guess you learned me well tonite.

And may I just add a GO RAZORBACKS, BEAT ALABAMA!!!! while at it?

 

[Luk]

He just kept saying, "The Jim Rome Show" so I can see your confusion. It started off a little dumb and then got steam and became hilarious. I also like when he does David Caruso with the CSI: Miami intro behind it when he's on the Rome Show.

 

[KRCummings]

Ya know, I could sorta kinda understand bumping this thread in November but why now?