It's NOT ok.

[DVS]

It is okay to realize that you don't really like family members (and that apparently, they don't really like you), whether y'all *love* one another or not.

It is also okay to decide that your holidays should be enjoyable, and if that means spending them by oneself, or with friends, or with strangers, that's okay, too.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do, yet. I know it will make even more waves in the family, if I decide not to attend our small family Christmas. There's only four of us. On Thanksgiving day I even said it might be in my best interest to rethink coming for Christmas. One sister said they would bring my presents by. It's a 20 mile trip across town, just to drop off presents. She's very good at playing the martyr.

I'll probably end up going, just so there's no hard feelings. But, I might end up leaving early, if they start bringing up the past, again. Have a Merry Christmas! It's a time for family to get together, you know.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I haven't decided what I'm going to do, yet. I know it will make even more waves in the family, if I decide not to attend our small family Christmas. There's only four of us. On Thanksgiving day I even said it might be in my best interest to rethink coming for Christmas. One sister said they would bring my presents by. It's a 20 mile trip across town, just to drop off presents. She's very good at playing the martyr.

I'll probably end up going, just so there's no hard feelings. But, I might end up leaving early, if they start bringing up the past, again. Have a Merry Christmas! It's a time for family to get together, you know.

So, you tell her she doesn't have to bring your presents by, but if she WANTS to, then it's her decision. Don't play into the martyr game.

Dude, look. If the three others make you unhappy, then you can do a few things about it.

One, you can make the statement that you object to this behavior, including the passive-agressive martyr bullshit.
Two, you can stay away. Sure, there will be waves made, but guess what-- they won't be waving at you. You won't be there

Or you can go and endure more abuse. It seems pretty obvious that this is a longstanding pattern in your family. You won't change them by showing up and letting them do more of it. And if you think (You're pretty sure, actually, let's face it) that you will end up leaving early, then it's YOUR drive.

 

[game_master24]

I'm gonna get this back on topic by saying:

Its not okay to get to the drive thru speaker and take 5 min to decide what you want while I stand there...

Its not okay to arrive 5 minutes before we close, so that we have to stay and make your darn food.

 

[Ropebunny]

I'm gonna get this back on topic by saying:

Its not okay to get to the drive thru speaker and take 5 min to decide what you want while I stand there...

Its not okay to arrive 5 minutes before we close, so that we have to stay and make your darn food.

Au contraire, having worked in fast food I think a wait time of 5 mins to decide is not too long, as long as other customers aren't being held up. Not everyone knows what they want before they get to the counter and some people might actually be completely unfamilar with the food you sell and need extra time to decide.

But, it is soooo not ok when people come in at closing time. We always locked the doors 10 mins before we were supposed to and went out back to 'dispose' of the uneaten burgers and ice cream.