It's Me Again, Margaret.

[sunshine57]

This may seem unrelated to BDSM, but I promise that it comes full circle.

I don't know if turning 20 in a few months is starting to change me or if I'm reliving my rebellious teenage years, but my quest for a Daddy/Master/Sir over the course of the last year has gone horribly- and I think it's because of my attitude.

I have chatted with several L O V E L Y people, but I have a problem with potential Doms keeping my interest or offering me exactly what I need. I get bored, and then suddenly I need a change. Either that, or I just get creepy messages that indicate they want nothing to do with me and everything to do with my submissiveness.

I met someone who has been on and off for a while now, but he picks and chooses when he'll give me attention- and when he is not ignoring me, all I want is to please him. He holds my interest consistently, but he could literally care less. He could be perfect for me... I feel like I'm in high school again.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just can't click with someone that wants me back. Is this normal? Is it okay that I'm having trouble finding someone? Y'all, I even tried to be open with guys in my personal life about what I want, and that turned out horribly for me. I am self destructing because I cannot get what I need.

At this point, I think I am done with BDSM because I can't keep pursuing something so desperately and hurting my confidence and self worth when it doesn't work out. Honestly, I just feel like a dumb kid who didn't do such a great job selling lemonade at her homemade lemonade stand on a hot July Saturday afternoon.

Xoxx
Sunny

 

[SissySalina]

Life

sissy would like to say something:
Life has ups and downs, life is an experience to find oneself.
Youth is full of impatient mistakes which are learning experiences.
As sissy experience goes, a good relationship is hard to come by, the right relationship is winning the lottery. Think about the odds on that.

Be yourself, trust yourself, remember that what people think is not always what they feel inside.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cascadiabound]

I would tag on a bit to what Elle said, Sunny.
The most important aspect to any relationship is that the the core of the relationship works. that you LIKE the person. they LIKE you. and you want to spend time with them and they with you. That there is mutual respect.
Start with that. Kinky fuckery is secondary. It is all well and good but if you do not have a person who it good to you when you are not having kinky fuckery... who will just hole your hand when you feel like shit cause you had a shitty day and be willing to talk to you sometimes... well then, that is no relationship.
Yeah... sometimes I want to be spanked to help me through a shitty time. But i need my lover to LOVE me.. the person... and care about me. Be steady and good to me without any of the mind games or BDSM. There is plenty of time for that too.

good luck. Be kind to yourself. do not close any doors on what you will or will not do in your life. Have boundaries that protect you. You deserve to be treated well by whoever you let into your life.