It's a lovely start, and I do hope you continue it!
But-
1) Here at the authors hangout, we talk about the writing process and everything else under the sun. But you will want to post your story when it's finished- in the stories section of literotica, not in the forums.
and
2) To post your story on Lit, you'll have to up her age by two more years. It's a very strict rule, there is no arguing with it. No Minors. 18 years old is the youngest a character can be to have sex.
Other than that, your writing style is clear and enjoyable, and welcome!