It's finally up!!!

[QuirkyK]

Hi all! My first story is up on the boards and I would love to know what all of you think about it. Please vote and leave me some honest critisism or let me know what you think!!! Thanks!!!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=120282

 

[raphy]

Hey QK - Liked the story.. I assume that Kendra's initial coldness towards Jon was because she thought he'd come on Michael's behalf or whatever?

Her very sudden switch from coldness to arousal was really the only thing that struck me about the story. I gave it a 4

 

[QuirkyK]

Yes, you were right....thanks for the tips!!!

And I'm glad you liked it

 

[whispering_surrender]

Read, enjoyed and fed back. *smiles*

Whisper

Ps. Based on the title of this thread.....this is soooooo not what I was expecting it to be about! *evil grin*

 

[LorriLove]

hay

hay quirky, careful what you title your threads i came here looking for someting a bit more spicy on top, it's finally up!!

found something spicy underneath though, lovely story, read and voted

 

[Gary Chambers]

Hi all! My first story is up on the boards and I would love to know what all of you think about it. Please vote and leave me some honest critisism or let me know what you think!!! Thanks!!!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=120282

Hi Quirky,

Since signing onto Lit I've been giving story structure more thought than I have in years, partly to help with my participation here and partly due to another fiction project underway. Where short stories are concerned I've always believed good structure was essential, but I've read pieces here that lacked the prescribed structure yet entertained very well. It brought me to the conclusion that I need to separate fiction into three categories: vignettes, short stories and novels. A vignette in my definition is a short story that doesn't offer any standard story structure, relying instead on the creation of a simple scenario that the reader finds enjoyable to be drawn into.

At first I couldn't figure out whether Broken Days was a vignette or a short story. In the end it dawned on me that by having Kendra reject or play a little coy with Jon, you created a little suspense in a low point of the story, thereby lending a structure to the plot and making it a short story rather than a vignette. I would like to have known a little more about what made the characters tick, and short stories work better when the first obstacle (low point) is overcome, only to face a second. It's not just my opinion, but a recognised feature of story structure dating way back, so I gave Broken Days a three.

To let you know how I use the votes, I reserve ones and twos for things I would rather not have read. Fours and fives are for above average work that is either very good or excellent, and three is what I vote for stories by authors I woud read again, but whose work (in my opinion) has so far achieved an average entertainment value.