It's Always Something

[Seshena]

Yeah, okay, this is going to be a bitchy, whiney post....but hey, if the married but sexually unfulfilled guys can do it...why can't I?

One of these days, I'd like to find out what exactly is wrong with me. There are lots of overweight women out there that I see with attractive men...and some of these women have faces that would scare the hell out of most people...but they're not alone. I'm not gorgeous, but I dont think I'm all that bad looking. I've always thought that when I'm with the right person I'm a fairly good person with a wonderful personality. But yet again, I got the "its not you" line. I am the proud recipient of the "it's not you, but this other girl just swept me off my feet" line.

If that was/is in fact true, then he shouldn't have made plans with me yesterday morning to come spend the night with me at my house (even though he ended up not doing that because he wanted to go see a late showing of Harry Frigging Potter). *sigh*

Most of you complaining of being sexually unfulfilled...well last night, I realized that I have not slept with a man....thru the night until morning time....in over five years. My bed has been empty for over five years. Sure I've had sex but that's as far as it seems to go. They all only want to fuck me and if I show any interest in them for more than sex...I get one of the famous lines.

I swear if I didnt have a child I'd just end it all and get it over with. At what point does this end?? At what point do I get someone to put his arms around me and hold me thru the night and hear him whisper how much he cares for me............

 

[capricious_chic]

Yeah, okay, this is going to be a bitchy, whiney post....but hey, if the married but sexually unfulfilled guys can do it...why can't I?

One of these days, I'd like to find out what exactly is wrong with me. There are lots of overweight women out there that I see with attractive men...and some of these women have faces that would scare the hell out of most people...but they're not alone. I'm not gorgeous, but I dont think I'm all that bad looking. I've always thought that when I'm with the right person I'm a fairly good person with a wonderful personality. But yet again, I got the "its not you" line. I am the proud recipient of the "it's not you, but this other girl just swept me off my feet" line.

If that was/is in fact true, then he shouldn't have made plans with me yesterday morning to come spend the night with me at my house (even though he ended up not doing that because he wanted to go see a late showing of Harry Frigging Potter). *sigh*

Most of you complaining of being sexually unfulfilled...well last night, I realized that I have not slept with a man....thru the night until morning time....in over five years. My bed has been empty for over five years. Sure I've had sex but that's as far as it seems to go. They all only want to fuck me and if I show any interest in them for more than sex...I get one of the famous lines.

I swear if I didnt have a child I'd just end it all and get it over with. At what point does this end?? At what point do I get someone to put his arms around me and hold me thru the night and hear him whisper how much he cares for me............

Am I missing the personal ad here?

 

[RomanceNvelSlut]

Yeah, okay, this is going to be a bitchy, whiney post....but hey, if the married but sexually unfulfilled guys can do it...why can't I?

One of these days, I'd like to find out what exactly is wrong with me. There are lots of overweight women out there that I see with attractive men...and some of these women have faces that would scare the hell out of most people...but they're not alone. I'm not gorgeous, but I dont think I'm all that bad looking. I've always thought that when I'm with the right person I'm a fairly good person with a wonderful personality. But yet again, I got the "its not you" line. I am the proud recipient of the "it's not you, but this other girl just swept me off my feet" line.

If that was/is in fact true, then he shouldn't have made plans with me yesterday morning to come spend the night with me at my house (even though he ended up not doing that because he wanted to go see a late showing of Harry Frigging Potter). *sigh*

Most of you complaining of being sexually unfulfilled...well last night, I realized that I have not slept with a man....thru the night until morning time....in over five years. My bed has been empty for over five years. Sure I've had sex but that's as far as it seems to go. They all only want to fuck me and if I show any interest in them for more than sex...I get one of the famous lines.

I swear if I didnt have a child I'd just end it all and get it over with. At what point does this end?? At what point do I get someone to put his arms around me and hold me thru the night and hear him whisper how much he cares for me............

I know how you feel. Ive gone through a time where that has happened to me. You just have to pick and choose from what you can get. The right one will come along eventually. Dont just look around your age group either...Look for younger or older men. Im a firm believer that you can get anything your heart desires. And if its a nice caring and loving man....He's out there. I bet theres a man around there that is just looking for a woman like you. Are you just looking for an attractive man? Surely all men are handsome and have flaws and pro's to each of them. And then there are your common assholes as well. All Im trying to say is try going a different route. Dont be all about sex with them at first. Date the man, flirt with him. Make him swoon and seduce him later. Put your intelligence to work and the romance and love will follow suit. You'll find the right one soon enough. Just try different things and stay true to yourself.... Good luck to you hun.

 

[RomanceNvelSlut]

Am I missing the personal ad here?

She wants help its ovious...and looking for the man here

 

[capricious_chic]

She wants help its ovious...and looking for the man here

I think anyone that is contemplating "ending it" because they can't find a man needs help outside of here.

You don't need a man or anyone else to be happy. You can't even offer happiness if you don't have it yourself.

I understand what it is like to be lonely. I also don't believe that there is someone out there for everyone and that we are all guaranteed a soul mate. Sitting around pining for what doesn't exist will get you no where. Find ways to fulfill yourself and find happiness. Be whole and complete unto yourself because no one out there can complete you or make you better but you. Until you do that you have nothing to offer another - unless they are damaged and one must consider if that is what they really want.

 

[Seshena]

Am I missing the personal ad here?

you are....but writing is a form of therapy to some...i just needed to vent..it made me feel better....but perhaps the personal ad can be read between the lines.......

 

[Seshena]

I think anyone that is contemplating "ending it" because they can't find a man needs help outside of here.

You don't need a man or anyone else to be happy. You can't even offer happiness if you don't have it yourself.

I understand what it is like to be lonely. I also don't believe that there is someone out there for everyone and that we are all guaranteed a soul mate. Sitting around pining for what doesn't exist will get you no where. Find ways to fulfill yourself and find happiness. Be whole and complete unto yourself because no one out there can complete you or make you better but you. Until you do that you have nothing to offer another - unless they are damaged and one must consider if that is what they really want.

its not a matter of contemplating ending it because i cant find a man...its because of the way i am often times made to feel useless or not good enough...i dont like that feeling.....
and yes, its true..i dont need a man...but i do want one....i want what most want..to be loved...but i will say that your words carry weight with me...whether that matters to you or not.....youre right...i have to find ways to fulfill myself....i just dont know how to jump off that spring board yet......but thank you *smile*

 

[Seshena]

I know how you feel. Ive gone through a time where that has happened to me. You just have to pick and choose from what you can get. The right one will come along eventually. Dont just look around your age group either...Look for younger or older men. Im a firm believer that you can get anything your heart desires. And if its a nice caring and loving man....He's out there. I bet theres a man around there that is just looking for a woman like you. Are you just looking for an attractive man? Surely all men are handsome and have flaws and pro's to each of them. And then there are your common assholes as well. All Im trying to say is try going a different route. Dont be all about sex with them at first. Date the man, flirt with him. Make him swoon and seduce him later. Put your intelligence to work and the romance and love will follow suit. You'll find the right one soon enough. Just try different things and stay true to yourself.... Good luck to you hun.

ah the ex husband was younger...ten years my jr to be exact....divorced a year in dec....younger definately isnt the route for me although that seems to be the only ones that are interested in me...older...i cant do older than like 42...i just cant do it...personal preference....and by attractive..i dont mean just in looks...not model pretty....combination of personality, humor, wit and looks makes the man attractive in the end.....and im not always about sex right off the bat...trust me LOL....i do try to do that date thing....but it seems that the men around here arent really interested in that....and well..i mean i live in a SMALL SMALL choices are limited town in Louisiana...so that says it right there...but thank you *smile*...again i just needed a quick vent....

 

[pepper_haze]

I don't get what the promblem is?

I think anyone that complains is approching the promblem to much. Men want romance as much as sex. Have you ever thought of going out dancing with your boyfriends before you have sex? Mabby if you tried to have some romantic fun before you had sex, you would feel more satified with your lovers. I am 27/m here, and I might be a little younger then the posters here, but I still enjoy romance in my life. Seriously, try just having drinks, and making out under moonlight, before you go to bed, the guy you would be with might show more love to you then.

 

[capricious_chic]

its not a matter of contemplating ending it because i cant find a man...its because of the way i am often times made to feel useless or not good enough...i dont like that feeling.....
and yes, its true..i dont need a man...but i do want one....i want what most want..to be loved...but i will say that your words carry weight with me...whether that matters to you or not.....youre right...i have to find ways to fulfill myself....i just dont know how to jump off that spring board yet......but thank you *smile*

Are you useless? Are you good enough?

No one should answer those questions but you. No one should be able to sway you away from what you know to be true. You are responsible for your feelings. Never let another decide for you what you are or what you should be.

Love can be found it the oddest of places with the most unexpected of people. Sometimes love isn't what you think it will be and many times it will rip your heart right out. Yet we still hope for it. Those sweet kisses that touch the soul.

I think we all feel as you do at different times. Perhaps it helps to know that you are not alone in feeling this way? To know that most everyone you have ever encountered has had the exact same doubts and felt the same defeat. Some people wallow in it and become bitter. Some reach inside, sometimes deep inside to find what they need. It is within you. The cool thing is that many times once you find it - others will want it as well and then quest doesn't seem so hard.

Vent away. I can bounce it back and forth for a bit. I don't have any answers though - just opinions and nonsense that tends to work for me.

 

[Seshena]

I think anyone that complains is approching the promblem to much. Men want romance as much as sex. Have you ever thought of going out dancing with your boyfriends before you have sex? Mabby if you tried to have some romantic fun before you had sex, you would feel more satified with your lovers. I am 27/m here, and I might be a little younger then the posters here, but I still enjoy romance in my life. Seriously, try just having drinks, and making out under moonlight, before you go to bed, the guy you would be with might show more love to you then.

when it comes to romance....im very romantic and loving and sensual and can turn on the charm...im also not a total dolt and know how to carry a conversation....but im a single parent with no friends or family in the area i reside in....i also dont "dump" my child off with just anyone so that i can have a social life....i dont drink and i dont get the chance to go out dancing....guess it makes it harder huh? ah well......guess ill just take the one ladies advice to try to find the happiness within myself and to hell with trying to find someone to make me happy *wink*

 

[Seshena]

Are you useless? Are you good enough?

No one should answer those questions but you. No one should be able to sway you away from what you know to be true. You are responsible for your feelings. Never let another decide for you what you are or what you should be.

Love can be found it the oddest of places with the most unexpected of people. Sometimes love isn't what you think it will be and many times it will rip your heart right out. Yet we still hope for it. Those sweet kisses that touch the soul.

I think we all feel as you do at different times. Perhaps it helps to know that you are not alone in feeling this way? To know that most everyone you have ever encountered has had the exact same doubts and felt the same defeat. Some people wallow in it and become bitter. Some reach inside, sometimes deep inside to find what they need. It is within you. The cool thing is that many times once you find it - others will want it as well and then quest doesn't seem so hard.

Vent away. I can bounce it back and forth for a bit. I don't have any answers though - just opinions and nonsense that tends to work for me.

youre right....and yes, i know...nobody can give me the answers i seek but me....but i will say...your opinions and what not make sense and i do appreciate it.....

perhaps i am just someone that tends to lose sight of all of that every now and again.....***** is tough, stress makes it sometimes unbearable and taking a wrong turn on the path sometimes bemuddles the mind....

i think my being able to hear that others sometimes feel this way too does help...perhaps it will allow me to actually sleep a little sounder tonite and wake up in the morning refreshed and a little more ready to find my way back to the happiness within.....

thanks dear....

 

[Seshena]

just out of curiosity...why am i getting advice about romance and sex from someone that is almost thirty and has never had sex???????? i do find that odd.....

...let me stop there and do my best to find that happy place....*sigh*

 

[capricious_chic]

youre right....and yes, i know...nobody can give me the answers i seek but me....but i will say...your opinions and what not make sense and i do appreciate it.....

perhaps i am just someone that tends to lose sight of all of that every now and again.....***** is tough, stress makes it sometimes unbearable and taking a wrong turn on the path sometimes bemuddles the mind....

i think my being able to hear that others sometimes feel this way too does help...perhaps it will allow me to actually sleep a little sounder tonite and wake up in the morning refreshed and a little more ready to find my way back to the happiness within.....

thanks dear....

It's cool.

We all have our vision obscured from time to time. Is it the wrong path - or one that just leads to a place we have never been or thought we would go?

btw - who is the under 30 yr old virgin?

 

[writerz01]

How about a older mans thoughts.
You've just reached a year after your divorce. You've a child, work hard, suffer through all lifes curves alone. Could be that you are just now realizing that what was before, will not be again. Look in a different kind of place, or places for what you need. Stay away from the office crowd, the club crowd and the young studs who will say anything and do nothing.
I hope you find who your looking for. I don't know if there is a mate for every one out there. But I would hope there is somewhere.
Good luck to you and your child.

 

[ima6uldv8]

We've all felt like that at one time. For a while after my divorce, I sunk into deep depression, feeling worthless. You can't let other people have that power over you. It sounds a bit to me in some of your answers that you're looking for excuses not to change your thinking. It won't be easy but you can change your mindset. Also, the men of lit are wonderful. I've talked to many nice ones here.

 

[Seshena]

It's cool.

We all have our vision obscured from time to time. Is it the wrong path - or one that just leads to a place we have never been or thought we would go?

btw - who is the under 30 yr old virgin?

hmmm i think perhaps im still on the right path but someone forgot to trim the hedges and cut back the trees a bit *smile*.....thank you so much capricious for the chat last night...it helped to get it all out and i feel 100 times better today.....

the almost 30 yr old virgin would be that pepperhaze or whatever his screen name is......not that i minded his post but i found it odd to be getting "advice" from someone who has not yet even had sex..ya know....anyway...have a great day.

 

[Seshena]

How about a older mans thoughts.
You've just reached a year after your divorce. You've a child, work hard, suffer through all lifes curves alone. Could be that you are just now realizing that what was before, will not be again. Look in a different kind of place, or places for what you need. Stay away from the office crowd, the club crowd and the young studs who will say anything and do nothing.
I hope you find who your looking for. I don't know if there is a mate for every one out there. But I would hope there is somewhere.
Good luck to you and your child.

thank you writerz....that probably is another little something that made me feel that way last night.....my daughter and i had a SUPER rough weekend with each other and i was unable at any time to say to someone "here its your turn to watch her i need to go for a walk".....i do appreciate your words and guidance.....it all really helped a lot just to get it out.....

 

[Seshena]

We've all felt like that at one time. For a while after my divorce, I sunk into deep depression, feeling worthless. You can't let other people have that power over you. It sounds a bit to me in some of your answers that you're looking for excuses not to change your thinking. It won't be easy but you can change your mindset. Also, the men of lit are wonderful. I've talked to many nice ones here.

yes, it seems that i have a hard, long trek ahead of me as far as changing the way i think about certain things in life....im not really sure where to start but if i take it one day at a time perhaps it will become easier....thank you ima...as for the "nice" men of lit....generally i get the PM's that say "you sound hot lets talk dirty"...LOL...not exactly something i tend to answer back to....glad you have had luck talking to many of the nice ones....have a great day!!

 

[Seshena]

Ok, now that all that boohooing I did last night is done......how about we get to the meat and potatoes of this place....

I know I've put up a similar ad once before but I really didnt find what I was looking for...I got a lot of responses, but I just didnt feel the click with anyone, so lets say we try this again......

I'd love to find a male between the ages of 30 and 45 with whom to correspond with. I guess you could say, like an internet penpal of sorts...someone that I can talk to about everyday mundane things just to get them off my chest....someone that I can be there for to listen to their issues or gripes....but also someone that enjoys erotic conversation and play as well. Someone that enjoys how the written word invokes the imagination which in turn makes the blood pump and gets us aroused.

If you are going to respond to this, please dont start off with a lonnnnnnggggg "story" trying to get me hot....I'd like to know a little bit about you and what your situation is....I'd like to make sure our personalities click enough for us to want to pursue it further...to make sure they click enough that we have the same kinks and desires so that we can in fact get each other worked up to a frenzy.

 

[Seshena]

Wow...the happily married, unhappy with sex threads get more action than i do...i must really suck...LMAO (yes i know...i LOL and what not alot...get over it)

 

[tastylover]

*offers hugs and support* Part of the battle is persistence, I think, seshena. It doesn't hurt to use all the tools at your disposal either, though. For some of us, finding people we click with is HARD. Heh, and often on places like here at lit, distance becomes such a huge problem as well. If you lived in Iowa I would probably have allready asked you out on a date, though I'm a little young for who you are looking for Have you tried using other online dating and interest sources, beyond lit? You've raised my interest... so that is one on lit. maybe the next you try you will find another, or maybe even more men interested in you. It is something you can try from home, too, one of the beauties of the net.

Anyways, I wish I could offer more in the way of advice and help, but myself I am not vastly experienced at finding the right person, either If you do need someone ever to vent or just talk intelligently with, and I'm around, feel free =) ("men, they are never around when you need them!" ... but I will try when I am here!! )

 

[CyberDrive]

and mostly the females have answered

well done

_b <thumbs up

 

[INeedLove]

Hugs Seshena! Being single and a parent isn't easy either. Let me gently add this-Lit might not be the best place to meet a guy for a relationship. Lots of people seem to hook up but few seem to show evidence of a long term relationship. I think many of the people here are looking for sexual release which, for many guys, can be done independently from a relationship.

I wish you the best of luck!!!!!! (((((((hugs)))))))

 

[Seshena]

Hugs Seshena! Being single and a parent isn't easy either. Let me gently add this-Lit might not be the best place to meet a guy for a relationship. Lots of people seem to hook up but few seem to show evidence of a long term relationship. I think many of the people here are looking for sexual release which, for many guys, can be done independently from a relationship.

I wish you the best of luck!!!!!! (((((((hugs)))))))

thanks doll....but im not looking for a relationship on here.....just a penpal type deal...well i guess that is a relationship of sorts...LOL....you know what i mean...im not looking for true love on lit...gosh that would be ridiculous...just someone to have some sexual fun with online but someone that wont mind the occassional "gotta get this off my chest" email either......but thank ya for the hugs and stuff........ciao.