That is the answer I give to myself, when I wonder about the question of whether I can find the right woman for myself through Lit. Meaning in plain English "maybe yes and maybe no".
So which factors drive the outcome more than others? The most important ones, I am 100% certain: whether I am lucky enough that a woman who discovers and answers my ad via PM
a-is able to read and in fact understand my ad to begin with,
b-possesses a certain ability to express herself clearly, and
c-is in fact a human being with a certain amount of civility "built in", with an open and positive attitude towards strangers, and with a talent (and a craving actually) for responsiveness. Which needs a good amount of curiosity as a driver, I believe.
"Civility" in my book includes a need for mutuality, so everything I say above and below, regarding desirable traits, applies to me as well.
The rest is gravy, more or less. Let me take a look at some of the "gravy" factors: physical attractiveness, for instance. The more I think about it, the more I see it as an actual advantage, if you were NOT overly attractive. How in the world can that be? Quite simply, if you were, most likely you could not simultaneously be a civilized woman also. Very attractive women usually get spoiled rotten by the men in their lives, starting with her daddy and continuing with her husband(s). And spoiled women are the exact opposite from civilized women.
Next factor: your sex drive, and how openly you stand by it and 'fess up to it. Here I clearly seek the opposite of above: the more you possess of it the better. I made the biggest mistake of my life, when I once engaged by mail with an "almost" woman, who admitted having a low drive, and when I actually was stupid enough to believe, I could affect a change here.
Something like that is totally impossible. Same if a woman has orgasmic difficulties. The only person who can fix both deficiencies is the woman herself. And most likely she'll have to learn to become a human being first and foremost, and also develop a good deal of compassion (in general) as well, otherwise that won't work.
Maturity is another factor. If you have reached a certain stage of maturity, all the better for you and me. Age does not play the major role here, but it can help. So most likely, you and I will get along much better, if you are over 50 rather than under. But in my experience, there are always exceptions to such rigid limits.
One more factor that is really much more than just gravy: If you do not feel one or more serious voids in your life , which you dream and believe a good mail relationship with the right man can compensate for, it would make little sense for you to contact me. Because I am not looking for just playing games with you. If you do not feel a strong need for me for that reason, you should not bother to PM me.
So which factors drive the outcome more than others? The most important ones, I am 100% certain: whether I am lucky enough that a woman who discovers and answers my ad via PM
a-is able to read and in fact understand my ad to begin with,
b-possesses a certain ability to express herself clearly, and
c-is in fact a human being with a certain amount of civility "built in", with an open and positive attitude towards strangers, and with a talent (and a craving actually) for responsiveness. Which needs a good amount of curiosity as a driver, I believe.
"Civility" in my book includes a need for mutuality, so everything I say above and below, regarding desirable traits, applies to me as well.
The rest is gravy, more or less. Let me take a look at some of the "gravy" factors: physical attractiveness, for instance. The more I think about it, the more I see it as an actual advantage, if you were NOT overly attractive. How in the world can that be? Quite simply, if you were, most likely you could not simultaneously be a civilized woman also. Very attractive women usually get spoiled rotten by the men in their lives, starting with her daddy and continuing with her husband(s). And spoiled women are the exact opposite from civilized women.
Next factor: your sex drive, and how openly you stand by it and 'fess up to it. Here I clearly seek the opposite of above: the more you possess of it the better. I made the biggest mistake of my life, when I once engaged by mail with an "almost" woman, who admitted having a low drive, and when I actually was stupid enough to believe, I could affect a change here.
Something like that is totally impossible. Same if a woman has orgasmic difficulties. The only person who can fix both deficiencies is the woman herself. And most likely she'll have to learn to become a human being first and foremost, and also develop a good deal of compassion (in general) as well, otherwise that won't work.
Maturity is another factor. If you have reached a certain stage of maturity, all the better for you and me. Age does not play the major role here, but it can help. So most likely, you and I will get along much better, if you are over 50 rather than under. But in my experience, there are always exceptions to such rigid limits.
One more factor that is really much more than just gravy: If you do not feel one or more serious voids in your life , which you dream and believe a good mail relationship with the right man can compensate for, it would make little sense for you to contact me. Because I am not looking for just playing games with you. If you do not feel a strong need for me for that reason, you should not bother to PM me.
