Ithaca

[Pathalimoss]

Ithaca (closed for Pywakit)

Finn prided himself on a view still routed in the full facts of the colony. It was easy to succumb to the shrinking of the mind that went with the shrinking of hope, opportunity and information, and to start believing that this ghastly, beautiful ocean moon was the circumference of humanity. Thinking of Earth, whether home or mythical birthplace of the species, was more of a comfort than most people had realised before it was taken from them. Though he could understand the practicality of living in the here and now, the one childish fantasy he could not let go of himself was centred on the satellites that orbited Ithaca. To him they were deific; remnants of an age not long past but violently shunted into the realm of golden miracles where all things were possible.

And they were like Gods for more than the power they possessed. The Custodians that ruled them were never built to handle decisions of the magnitude thrust now upon them. Intelligence to learn and adapt yes, but not to such catastrophic destruction. Human minds all ready inoculated by despair and suffering could hardly survive intact: no one found it too hard to believe that the vast yet youthful intellects circling so far above had simply gone insane. No one except Finn. He watched as one bright light approached the horizon and moved his head to find another. No, they had not committed virtual suicide. Finn was sure of that. They were still up there, enigmatic and unknowable, holding the keys to the world's future. "Just waiting for Prometheus," he said under his breath.

A slight shudder made the platform groan and lurch ahead, and Finn held the railing and peered down into the shadowy water. Probably just the momentum of the rig, or one of the trawlers negotiating a rock on the ocean floor. He had to look though, now. That was what everyone had said to Anna, in the face of her ridiculous claims of sea monsters. She was too smart and held too much integrity to expect him to believe her out of loyalty, but he could see that it pained her that not even he was on her side.

Someone opened a door behind him, creaking loudly in the still night air. He turned but could see only a small shadow fluttering down the narrow walkway. They had to have seen him, but had business of their own to attend to, apparently. It was a pity, he thought, for he would have liked the company. He opened the social channels to see if anyone else was online and immediately got pinged. With a small shock he saw it was from Kendra

"Hi," he said out loud, feeling more alone for speaking to the silence. It was funny that he had trouble convincing himself that he could be talking to someone so far away, when only a few years ago it would have been nothing. Not so far away now, he corrected himself, amping up his vision and searching for the silhouette to the south. Yes, there it was. Larger than it had been a few hours ago.

"Hello Finn. You're up late. Excited about tomorrow?" Her voice was so very feminine, even injected directly into his brain and bypassing his ears.

"Of course. It may not be such a big deal for you over there, but for most of us it feels like a return to civilisation. I'm still having a hard time getting used to communicating like this again, and having direct contact with another station."

"You found the Pericles rig didn't you?"

"That was different. They were always nearby; we never lost sight of them. And we couldn't speak to them until we were actually physically docked."

"You're outside, aren't you?"

"Yes. It gets a little claustrophobic on Kethas; we're not nearly as large a settlement as Midgard."

"Don't expect too much in the way of cavernous spaces, Finn. We're larger in combined area yes, but we're built from the same blocks as you. Most people here don't mind though; they seem to dread the open sky. The water is too endless, the horizon too close. Deimos too large." Finn felt that she was waiting for him to turn and look, as he did. A gas giant with twice the total mass of all the planets of Sol, it was an angry red reminder of just how far from home they were. It covered a quarter of the sky at that moment, sinking below the horizon as if waiting to surprise the alien inhabitants of its moon. As Ithaca orbited its far larger parent, Deimos would wax and wane just as Earth's moon had done. (Still did, if it was still there.) But to Finn it seemed it was always bright and never really went away, even when Ithaca showed its back.

"I get that too. I feel like the walls are closing in so I come out here and get the shit scared out of me by what I see. Damned either way, but at least out here I can breathe."

"I'm still getting used to that, the breathing."

"Oh yes, you said something about a hermetic section on Midgard. You recently emerged?"

"We all did. Well, all from my ship. We came down before we were fully adapted; the air was still too poisonous for us until a few weeks ago. Still tastes like I've got powdered iron in my mouth." She smacked her lips, or rather sent him the sub-audial impression that she did.

It took him a moment to draw the inference. "You're outside."

"Yes, I thought I'd join you. I'm not brave enough to stand right against the rails when I don't have to, though."

Another moment for his brain to process. "You can see me?" He was glad this medium of communication allowed for greater control than more primitive conversation. His voice would have been squeakier than he would have liked.

"Yes," she laughed, her tone wonderfully rich. "I hope you don't feel I'm intruding. I'll wave so you can find me."

"Actually, my optics don't zoom that far. You came later; you have the benefits of more sophisticated adaptations I suppose."

"Really? But you've only been here, what, seven years yourself? Has the tech changed so fast?"

"It's not just about the heights of technology. The colonists couldn't know everything when we set out, so they set up the Custodians to study the moon and the newest colonists and figure out how best to adapt us. They learned from my generation and you got the benefits, it seems."

"Oh. Well I guess I can stare all I like and you'll just have to take my word that I'm out here too, then."

"I remember what you look like well enough," Finn replied, then bit his tongue. He did remember.

"Well that's not really fair, since I can see you." Thankfully she was oblivious. "Here, let's try this." After a few seconds he received a link request, and accepted. A window opened in the upper right corner of his vision. Kendra was leaning toward the camera slightly, trying to be sure she was framed correctly. "Can you see me OK?"

“Perfectly.” It occurred to him then that she might have been feigning ignorance at the impoverished state of his optics. The blue tint in her skin was heavier than his, so much so that it was visible even in the faint light. She had seen Finn and his people during the teleconference. Though the genetic difference was less than a tenth of one percent, she had surely been aware that they were no longer precisely the same species.

Her hair was much longer than people kept theirs on Kethas. The high wind made it a hindrance, austerity made beauty less important. Kendra had not had to learn this yet, or else her people had a better way. It was a thick, rich brown, that looked slightly greasy but wasn't, as he knew from touching his own. Compared to Finn's people she was both more slender in her build and more full-bodied in the right places, the latter a result of superior diet if not also genetics.

She smiled and pulled a lock of hair from her face, baring strong white teeth in an expression that seemed patronising for its ridiculous modesty. She could have any man on this station, he thought. But then, the men he knew were probably no more attractive to her than they were to him.

“I almost regret doing this now. I haven't felt self-conscious for some time, being with people who look just like me.”

“Self-consciousness isn't really something we've had to worry about either. But if your people all look like you, then that's going to change once we're all face-to-face.” Her expression was queer, and it seemed she detected the compliment but wasn't sure she read it correctly. “Forgive me for being blunt, but you found me the moment I came online, so I assume you had an alert set up. Was there some particular reason you wanted to speak to me?”

“Yes.” More demure hair-arranging. He had to remind himself that it was necessary, he just wasn't used to seeing it any more. It wasn't flirtation. “We were hoping for your expertise. It can wait until we're merged of course, but it's important and I thought I should ask as soon as possible.”

“Of course. How may I help?”

“We mentioned briefly that there are other ships coming, that were all ready en route, like we were. You know that all ready, but we can actually see them, enough to make out some detail. Well some of those are colonists, but there are orbitals too. New Custodians, Finn. Still dormant.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“Talk to them, if we can. Try and reach them before they go mad like all the others.”

“It's too late,” he said. The interface sent no intended response, but he saw the surprise in her body. He was curious as to what they were planning and how they thought he could help when their technological capacities seemed so far beyond his own, but he had put a good deal of thought into this all ready.

“You mean they're mad all ready? How could they be? And how do you know?”

“I don't, and I don't think they are. They're not active yet, but they received all the same updates that ours did, right? Everything beamed out to us was picked up as it passed them and incorporated into their systems.” He pointed his hand upward to indicate the small dots far above their heads. “They may be vastly intelligent and in some ways beyond our understanding, but there are some things you can predict about an artificial mind. They're hopelessly logical. When the new arrive and awaken they'll be exactly as the old ones were. Nothing's changed significantly. Faced with the same circumstances they'll reach exactly the same conclusion their predecessors did.”

Kendra was sullen, and Finn wished he hadn't said it. There was no denying she needed to know, but he felt horrible for having deflated her hopes so harshly. To his relief she recovered quickly.

“But they received the updates while still dormant. Those that were here had all ready begun their assignments and started to develop beyond their initial state; that would make a difference as to how they absorbed the updates, the finished product.”

“Yes, it would.” He spoke blandly, unwilling to repeat his mistake.

“I'm grasping at straws, aren't I?”

Finn sighed. “A little bit, yes. You're not wrong: having experiences before the updates will make a difference. I just doubt it's significant.” Inwardly he was happy she seemed able figure things out on her own. It reminded him there was an intellectual life beyond the toil of recent years, a human capacity for inventiveness and imagination.

“There was something else you said.” The vid feed showed her eyes slipping out of focus for a moment, and he realised she was reviewing her memory. This was another uplifting sign of their capabilities. Finn's people had lost eidetic enhancement in the crash three years ago. Learning to rely on purely organic memory had been a frustrating struggle. “You said you “don't think they are.” Did you just mean that you don't think the new Custodians are mad yet?”

“No,” he said, smiling more broadly than he had in days. She'd figured this out too, or at least guessed at it. “I don't think any of them are. Inscrutable and seemingly unhelpful, yes. But they were too well designed to simply purge their faculties and panic after losing contact with Earth. I don't know what they're up to, but I'll bet there's reason.”

“I didn't expect you to be an optimist.”

“I never have been. And this may not count. I think they know what they're doing, but that doesn't mean they're going to be of any help to us.”

Kendra reached behind her head and tied her hair in a loose knot with an effortless skill that beautiful women seemed born with. “I think you're right about almost everything. And we're going to have some interesting conversations once you're over here.”

_______________​

The end of their conversation left a strange thrill in Finn's gut. From the beginning of their interactions the people of Midgard had given the impression of innocence, as if they looked to Finn and his people's superior experience for guidance. He had suspected that there was an element of political astuteness in this attitude; that they were posturing for greater cooperation. It was only now, though, that he saw signs of hidden knowledge. It would be prudent to be concerned, to worry about what plans the larger city had for his people once they were docked. But Finn thought conquest was an unlikely motivation. It should have been clear enough all ready that they had little to offer the comparatively wealthy inhabitants of Midgard, and Kendra's personal communication would have been an odd ploy in the face of coming hostilities.

Unless she was trying to determine if I'm worth taking alive, he thought. He dismissed the idea. It was childish and foolish, but he was too excited about the merger to care. It was too great an opportunity to pass up, and if Midgard had decided to annex Kethas, there was nothing to be done about it now. The only tinge of regret came when he thought of Anna, who would not be there to explore with him.

_______________​

Celebrations were delayed by the tediousness of integrating the two stations. Finn had assumed they would have it all worked out in advance, but the structures proved obstinate, and much time was wasted while engineers on both sides talked and scratched their heads. This level of practical problem-solving was not within Finn's field, though people looked to him anyway. He pointed and made suggestions that others had all ready made and finally lost himself on an edge far enough from the action to avoid being noticed.

Midgard was enormous now. It struck him how unlike his own station it seemed. The inhabitants claimed it had been jury-rigged from terraforming platforms, just like Kethas, but looking at it now he found that difficult to believe. It was so high. Binding two platforms together at the edges was one thing, adding more at the extremities much the same, but no point on Kethas was higher than any of the original platforms. The centre of Midgard sat more than twice as high above the water. And so much of it was gleaming white, as if it had just been churned out of a giant fabricator in one seamless piece. The more he stared the more its appearance came to defy the story of its improvised origins.

It was growing dark before the first walkway was officially opened. A delegation from Midgard came to meet the representatives of Kethas, which was almost everyone since their population was only a few hundred, but Finn was among those at the front. Kendra found him with a nod, but they could not get close enough to shake hands for another minute.

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear. “I'm quite relieved to see you aren't armed.” It was more true than he'd allowed himself to believe. His quiet fears had expanded swiftly when confronted by Midgard's overwhelming size and mystery.

Kendra pulled back to look at him before replying, her frown contemplative. “Come with me,” she said, taking his hand and leading him back through the thick throng of people. Her skin was warm and delicate, her grip strong and her stride purposeful. The walkway had been threaded with dense, fibrous vines, as had most of the passageways on Midgard, Finn knew. In addition to adding strength and providing a tiny photosynthesising effect, they gave an organic appearance, which was invaluable on a world that otherwise consisted of synthetic construction materials and water. Deimos filled the sky and torches had been lit and attached to the railings, the combined, flickering, demonic light adding to the primitive atmosphere. Blue-skinned people held out their hands as Finn and Kendra pushed past, touching his face and arms as if he were a child newly born into their family. Looking back he saw the people he knew watching his departure with uncertainty.

There seemed no end to the crowd, and the further he was led onto the foreign station the more of a celebrity he became. Once off the broad walkway connecting the stations the path beneath him was the same latticed alloy of his own rig, though it too had been covered in growth, until the gaps were nearly filled and he could only see glimpses of the dark water far below. Kendra was seeking a private place to talk but no one who saw Finn would allow it. Finally she guided him into a small hemispherical room connected to the side of a much larger structure. She seemed to choose it on a whim, yet once inside it was clearly someone's sleeping quarters.

“You agreed to join with us despite fears that we may be aggressive?” she asked, closing the door behind her. Her manner suggested the question was to break the ice, that it was not her purpose in bringing him here.

“Slight fears. We really didn't have much choice.”

“Of course you did. You've been surviving just fine on your own.”

“Surviving, yes, but it's not much of an existence. There is colour and no joy. For the opportunities you have to offer a risk was worth taking.”

“Funny, that's kind of the same argument I gave to my people for coming to find you,” she said with a smile, seating herself on the edge of the bed. There was a vibrance and youthfulness in her movement that suggested she could have been in her early twenties, yet also a maturity that had come through in their dialogue, personal and official, that would have made him guess older. In the early twenty-third century, it was nearly impossible to determine age from appearances.

“What risk was there in coming to us? And what opportunities, for that matter?”

“You wouldn't be the first to turn to piracy. Midgard hasn't encountered any, but we've found some who have, and been in contact with others who were attacked. You weren't aware of that?”

Finn rubbed the stubble on his chin as if in thought, but it was a defensive action. “It occurred to us that it could happen, but we haven't heard of it. But then, you're the only ones we've been in contact with. Which I still don't understand, by the way.”

“That brings us to your usefulness,” she said, bringing her heels to her bottom and clasping her knees to her chest. “You know we have access to global communications.” She waited for him to nod. “Well there's more to it than that. One of the Custodians is helping us, we think. It won't talk to us, but it's the only way I can explain the resources we've received, and the network access. You understand why we couldn't tell you until now.”

“Couldn't you have seen us, assessed our threat and honesty before even talking to us?” He tried hard to keep focus though his mind was reeling from this revelation.

“No; we don't have orbital image access. Which seems a very deliberate omission.”

“This is-” Finn paced the room, coming to the porthole window and looking out. “This is very interesting.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put all of this on you tonight. Don't try to take it all in right now, there's no need to rush it. We're doing fine for now, and your people will be well taken care of as a new addition to Midgard. We've set up quarters for you here if you want them, though I understand if you'd rather return to your home tonight.”

“You have spare quarters for three hundred and fifty people?”

“No,” she laughed. “Although we could make room for them all easily enough if we had to. I meant we have quarters for you.” He turned to look at her. “You're the reason we came for Kethas, Finn. Most of it, anyway. We have personnel files, for everyone. Anyone who left Sol for Ithaca; arrived or still on the way. Yours was among a short list of names we came up with, and when we sent out our broadcasts we were lucky enough to find your station was one of those that replied. We didn't even have to arouse suspicion by asking about you; you were introduced as one of the speakers for Kethas.”

“You brought your station all the way here to join ours because you want my help figuring out what your patron is up to?”

“Not just the one, all of them. Shit, I said there was one helping us, but we don't even know that much. Maybe they all are. We want you to help us figure out what the hell is going on, so we can try and get this moon back on track to becoming a real colony. You're as qualified for dealing with AIs as almost anyone on Ithaca. And you've been here longer than we have.”

Finn sighed. His instinct was to dampen her hopes, to tell her he'd all ready tried everything he could think of to decipher the enigma of the Custodians' behaviour. But they had access and information that he didn't, and that had to open things up. “You'll have to show me everything.”

“Of course. Tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to be your tour guide.” She moved to the door and offered him her graceful hand, smiling her too-perfect smile.

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra stood patiently by the door, waiting for Finn to exit the sleeping chamber. She keyed the door closed and then sighed, as if in preparation for what was about to come.

"Okay then. As you've no doubt noticed, Midgard's a big place. But there's a logic, sort of, to the way it's laid out. If you get lost or all turned around or something, don't be afraid to step up to one of these panels here," she said as she stepped a few feet to the right, indicating a touchscreen mounted on the wall. She tapped the glass and a map of the station swamp into view. It flickered once, then zoomed in on what appeared to be a garden. Kendra shook her head and tapped again, and the screen returned to the main view.

"There's some bugs in the software still, but it usually works. All part of what we're trying to figure out, I guess. Anyway, you probably won't need one of these for now, since I'll be with you for a while to help you get all acclimated and situated here."

She turned around and strode up to a railing and leaned against it. Her skin seemed to shine in the light as she looked out across the view the balcony offered of the station. She pointed to the shortest set of towers.

"Those down there are the industrial towers; that's where the reactors are at, the air and food and water processing and recycling, and most of the factory synths and other necessities. I don't have clearance for there, so we won't be heading in there, but there's not much to see there anyway. The rest of the place, well, I guess you can really divide it up into four districts. You've got the entertainment district over there, all lit up like a Asmerian flashbird. And opposite that you've got the research district. The communications gear and libraries are there too, along with the labs and most of the ports. Then over here to the right you have the residential district. There's some parks there too, along with some schools and and hospitals. And then there's this one here; the admin district. Mostly offices and meeting rooms and the like, with more politicians and datapushers than you're likely to ever want to talk to. Where we're at here? We call it the hub. Not a super creative name, but this ring shaped walkway pretty much can get you to any of the lift transports to the five district cores."

She nodded, then turned to face Finn with a smile.

"So... any preference on what you'd like to see first?"

 

[Pathalimoss]

"Politicians? Schools?" Finn surveyed all that she told him, his mind trying to fit images of book shelves, desks and auditoriums into the structures he saw. "We've been living off synthesised food and entertaining ourselves with improvised games and stories." He felt guilty for abandoning his responsibilities, and thought that he should forget the tour and focus immediately on getting more answers out of Kendra, until he glanced back toward Kethas and saw his own people. They were being fumbled onto Midgard by a sea of blue hands, their own skin comically pink by contrast, their faces nervous but smiling.

"They'll be well taken-care of tonight," Kendra assured him.

Finn watched them a moment longer and then smiled at her. "Where first? That's easy."

Though she had called them parks Finn had dared not get his hopes up, expecting her terminology had been chosen euphemistically, dubbed in the same cynical method as their own gruel-producing "delicatessen". He almost cried at the sight of fully-grown trees; rich green leaves and rough brown bark that scratched the palm of his hand. The chamber was enclosed but vast, the dome more than three stories high at its zenith and currently transparent, giving the strong impression that they had left the artificial structure of the station.

Finn dropped to his knees and ran his hands through the dirt, bringing a handful to his face and smelling it. Kendra laughed at him and brought him a sweet-smelling flower from a nearby bush, planting it behind his ear after he turned away.

"There is a lot more here than anyone will believe you made yourselves," he said, watching a child disappear behind an outcrop while her companion tried to find her. "You have access to samples from Earth; not just bio files, but actual specimens and soil stockpiles?"

"Yes. Do you want to go into that now?" She smiled and put a second flower in her own hair.

Before he could answer he heard a grunt from behind a line of trees and froze. He magnified his hearing and heard it again, definately a woman in distress. Quickly he strode toward the sound, then looked to Kendra to see if she followed. "Quite the voyeur, aren't we?" she said with eyebrows raised.

"Oh." He knew must have looked like an idiot, standing for a moment with his mouth open and eyes wide. Then he laughed, and Kendra with him. "It's just... well, on Kethas, we haven't been much in the mood for.. leisure." She nodded sympathetically. They stood and listened, and he felt even more foolish for not having recognised the now unmistakeable sounds. He would have been more embarrassed except that Kendra held his hand and seemed entirely at ease with the situation. "Maybe we should leave them in peace?"

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

"I wouldn't worry too much about disturbing them, Finn," she said with a smile. "If they wanted privacy, I suspect they would have found a coupling pod or something like that. For a lot of us here, the joy of coupling in public areas makes things all the more exciting." She finally noticed how uncomfortable he seemed, and stood quickly, brushing the soil off her knees. She wasn't sure why she'd taken his hand, but he was obviously not quite ready for something like that.

"Let's give them some privacy anyway," she said as she walked further into the park. The biodiversity of the park was of the type that you could only really get in an engineered and carefully moderated environment; the trees and plants that grew here would never have been found in such close proximity to each other here on earth, but with the right mixture of fertilizer, artificial sunlight patterns, and a little bit of naonotech, the park had most every major type of tree at some point in its expanse.

She came up to one of the taller trees and smiled, then turned to face Finn. "Redwood. One of my favorites. This tree was actually transported from Earth; it's hundreds of years old. Maybe thousands." She looked up up at the green branches above. "Really makes you stop and think, you know? How long these trees have been around? And what we've gotten ourselves into during a single redwood's lifetime?"

 

[Pathalimoss]

Finn felt a stab of grief at the mention of the redwoods, though it was familiar now and beginning to lose its sting. He couldn't help but wonder if any still stood on Earth, or if they had all been destroyed. After three years they still knew so little about what had happened: why all transmissions from back home had stopped so abruptly. Kendra might know more. If they had some cooperation from the Custodians then they might have access to a telescope, or com archives from the moment it happened. He filed the matter under the list of things to ask her, another day.

"I never saw a redwood before. It was one of the things I planned to see before leaving, but there were so many places to visit, and I never made it." He stood at the base and looked up. The trunk seemed to stretch up beyond the ceiling of the chamber; where exactly the ceiling was he couldn't tell as it grew less visible at its highest point. If the trees were higher than the chamber he would have to try and look for them from other points on the station.

The unrestrained exclamations from nearby reached and peak, and both Kendra and Finn looked in their direction and shared a smile. Finn knew the attitudes of many of the colonists would have made his people seem contrastingly conservative, but he hadn't been expecting to find this, here, so soon. It was another reminder of some of the joys of humanity that he thought he had left behind forever.

Kendra had released his hand, though he suspected she did so because she thought he wished it. He held it again, bringing it to his face and opening her palm. There was some quality in the flesh that he could not put his finger on, something other than the colour that made it different from his own in a way he could not identify. Kendra patiently allowed his examination, even as he dragged a fingertip across her hand.

"You're warmer than I am. By a few degrees or so I think." Raising the core temperature was something that had been postulated decades ago; the warmer a creature's body, the faster it could operate, physically and mentally. But the price was a significantly increased demand for fuel, and research had uncovered all sorts of other practical difficulties as well. It seemed Midgard's patron had finally unlocked the secret.

"I'm sorry," Finn said, letting her hand drop to their side, but not releasing it. "I just wasn't expecting that. You're more different than I thought you'd be. More... advanced. You have real food here, yes?" He asked the question before she could comment. "Can you show me? I haven't had a real meal in years."

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra's smile faltered and her eyebrows arched. She opened her mouth to say something and then didn't; her cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment. She had, of course, read up quite a bit on Kethas, but here, talking to someone who'd lived there, was quite a different thing.

She bit her lip, then tried again. This time the words came.

"Don't be sorry," she said, her voice soft. "This is a big thing, transitioning to a new life. If anyone's sorry it should be me, dragging you around like this and rushing you through things. It's just... well... this is kind of exciting for me too. Anyway."

Flustered, she thought about pulling her hand away from his but then decided against it.

"We do have real food here. This way," she said as she started heading for the far side of the park. A concourse was over there, along with a large number of refreshment kiosks. As they walked, she spoke some more.

"We actually run three degrees hotter. Well, most of us do. There's some folks who aren't that into the enhancement side of things and keep it 'natural' and there's others who push the limits and run up to six or even seven degrees. But that tends to have spectacular side effects, and not ones I'm that interested in. They didn't have much bioengineering or nanotech at Kethas then? Or just different kinds?"

They'd reached the concourse, and as she waited for him to answer, she led him toward a brightly colored dispenser that advertised, of all things, chicken and pasta. It felt a little strange and mundane, but she figured it'd be best to start with something simple if he hadn't had real food for as long as he claimed.

 

[Pathalimoss]

"We have almost zero biotech on Kethas," Finn replied, preparing himself for another powerful revelation. Why hadn't this occured to him before? "All of our alterations took place in orbit, fresh after arriving in the system, before we ever set foot on the surface. Well, on the rigs I should say. We have no capacity to make changes ourselves. You didn't realise that... that must mean that your engineering takes place here, on the station?" She nodded to comfirm that it did, but they arrived at the cafetaria before he could ask any more.

The line ahead of them evaporated, smiling faces happy to make way for their honoured guest, as if he had been starving and was in desperate need of food. He noted the hesitation on Kendra's face when she saw the menu for the day, but chicken and pasta sounded like ambrosia to Finn after three years of nearly tasteless dietary compounds. He found Kendra's eyes on him as he brought the first forkful to his mouth, and she laughed and apologised, regarding her own plate to let him eat in peace.

She had said there was a wide variety of modification to the people of Midgard, and now that he looked closer he thought he could see some signs of this. Nearly everyone had the contrasting blue skin, which was only visible in his own generation when the light fell on them in the right way, but this was no great mystery. It helped to protect against some of the more exotic radiation that made it through the moon's thinner atmosphere, and he thought he recalled some other benefits from the briefing several years ago. He wondered now if he had suffered any damage from insufficient protection. Under their skin he saw changes in bone structure, and when he watched some of them for a moment they seemed to move differently; something nearly alien about the way they walked or lifted their hands.

Finn cleared his plate and leaned back in his chair, contented. Kendra asked if he would like her to get him another helping, but he politely turned it down. "I think my stomach will need some time to adjust," he said happily. He noticed that Kendra, and indeed all those at the tables nearby, ate a very large volume of food. Of course, to maintain the higher function of their bodies, he thought.

"I think I'm ready to call it a night," he said once she was also finished. "And I'd like to take you up on your offer of a place to sleep, if it's still available. I'm finding I have very little nostalgia for my narrow cot and barren cubicle back on Kethas."

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra nodded, then gathered the now empty food trays and utensils and slid them into the recycling bin. "Of course the offer's still available," she said with a smile as she stood, then held out her hand to help him out of his chair. She kept holding it after he stood, leading him away from the concourse toward one of the monorails. "My place is actually kinda over on the other side of the district, but it's not that far in one of these little guys." She indicated the private monorail car that slid up next to them; she opened the door for him and climbed into the 4-person car after him. Inside, a pair of wide, soft benches faced each other. She sat down opposite him and pushed a thumb against one of several colored panels near the door. The device read her print and immediately set out for her home, whisking them out onto the rail and along a tangled but efficient route through the residential district.

They arrived in less than five minutes. Kendra led the way from the platform up to one of the taller towers, and after one more short elevator ride they were on the 11th floor.

"My place is kind of cozy, but there should be more than enough room for both of us. I'll let you have the bedroom; I can sleep in the lounge."

 

[Pathalimoss]

When she mentioned her place Finn initially said nothing, thinking perhaps she was only intending to find him a place to stay that was close to her own. As it became apparent that she indeed intended for him to spend the night in her apartment he decided to remain quiet still. The reason he gave himself was that it may be imprudent to refuse her hospitality; this was effectively a different culture he was in now, and to her offering a stranger her own bed for the night may be perfectly natural, and to turn her down considered rude. In the back of his mind he knew there was another reason.

"This really is an apartment, isn't it?" he asked, moving to the wide window and looking out. The concept of a room designed and built for comfort living was nearly as removed from his life as that of having a view. What was there to look at on Ithaca except water and metal? Midgard had provided a solution by becoming the answer itself.

The red disc of Deimos seemed stripped of all malevolence by the soft artificial lights of the living city below. Crowds of people bustled through the walkways. It looked as though there was room enough for everyone to have their own space, yet the outer paths were nearly empty and the people pressed together wherever they could. It might have seemed a fearful response except for the joy on their faces and the energy with which they moved. It was like a lively marketplace, or even a festival. These people had conquered the loneliness of an alien moon and made it their home.

Kendra's fingers slipped between his and laced together as she moved gracefully to his side. "This place is nearly too good to be true," he said softly, lest his voice shatter the vision.

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra looked back over her shoulder, then saw her apartment through the eyes of someone who had lived years in discomfort. She flushed a little, embarassed with what she suddenly felt like what she'd done by bringing him up here was simple bragging and showmanship.

"Well... I suppose it is pretty nice, but it's actually pretty standard for an apartment here. Once all the paperwork and red tape and all that garbage is covered, you'll be assigned your own place, you know. It'll probably look more or less exactly like this." She noted the decorations of brightly colored lizards, snakes, and frogs she loved so much that gave the place such a uniquely-Kendra feel, then smiled. "Well... not exactly, if you're not as into scaly stuff as me, I guess."

She opened the door to the left and indicated it with a tilt of the head. "There's the bedroom. All yours for the next several days. Door over there leads into the kitchen, and the one just left of that goes to the lounge. Only bathroom and shower is off the bedroom though, so we'll have to share that." She smiled, leaving it unsaid if she intended him to think that they'd share it together.

"Anyway, I'm gonna get a little reading done before I go to sleep, but you should go crash whenever you want. It's been a long day, after all."

 

[Pathalimoss]

There were showers on Kethas, but they had never been intended to accomodate so many people, or endure so much use. They got the job done, but were small and utilitarian, and almost always occupied when he wanted to use one. Kendra's was spacious and clean, with no visible heads but water that seemed to pour from the walls in all directions. He had to stiffle himself from laughing at the luxury of it.

There was no modesty of any sort to cover him from the rest of the bathroom, but why should there be in an apartment intended for one? Kendra could no doubt hear the water running and would not enter unannounced. The walls dried him at a command, leaving the air warm and sweet-smelling.

He thought of his people, and tested the network. Without fuss he was granted guest access to the Midgard array, and found several of his own in seconds. He found Marcus, a friend of his and another de facto leader on Kethas, and asked him to report. With a short delay Marcus replied that he was with a loose group that comprised fully half the population of Kethas, being shown the sights of the new city. There had been no formal invitation or plan but with the efficiency of a mob planning mischief they had found themselves swept into the new world of their hosts. They had all been promised a bed to sleep in for the night, but no one was close to being ready for that. He then asked if Finn was back overseeing the continued work of integrating the stations, and when Finn said he wasn't, asked where he was. Finn almost felt himself blush, and said only that he had also found a place to sleep.

Next he checked in with the engineers Marcus had reminded him of, but they reported that the Midgard crew were doing most of the work. He told them to contact him if they needed anything and wished them goodnight.

Satisfied, he re-dressed and entered the living room, finding Kendra reading on the couch. "Hi. I started feeling badly for taking your bed from you, and I'm not sure I even said thankyou." He sat on the couch by her feet and looked out the window, signs of life vaguely discernible in the distance. "And the truth is I'm not ready to sleep yet. This is all too exciting."

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

"Don't be silly," Kendra said as she marked her place and set the tablet down. "I've had plenty of time to use the bed, and I'll have plenty more time once you get your own place. I won't miss it for a few days. And besides, while this couch is pretty comfy; the one I have in the lounge is even better." She pushed on the cushion between them with her foot. "So don't you worry about me! But you're welcome all the same. And you're right... it is pretty exciting. And since you can't sleep, why don't I make us a drink. Maybe it'll help you get some rest?"

She didn't wait for an answer; she was up and in the kitchen rummaging through her supplies. She found what she was looking for among her small but respectable collection of liquor, and soon enough the blender was buzzing away. As she mixed the drinks, she called out to him.

"In the meantime... have you settled on any plans for tomorrow? Or did the orientation crew already schedule you a full day of tests and whatnot?"

 

[Pathalimoss]

"Orientation crew?" For a moment Finn wondered how he could have missed knowing there was such a thing, until he remembered that he had sequestered himself to a quiet corner of Kethas for much of the previous day. His talk with Kendra had given him a lot to think about. "No, I haven't spoken with them, or anyone on Midgard but you since the conference."

He accepted the drink she offered him. It was both familiar and different, and the synthetic chemicals it contained worked on his brain so much better than alcohol could. "What exactly did you mean by tests? What tests would your people want to run with me?" He chose "with" rather than "on" as it sounded less defensive. "And why is it so important to you that I get to sleep?" The last comment he added with a slight smirk, hoping the distance between their people wouldn't obscure the subtleties of body language and humour.

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra sipped her drink, then arched her eyebrows. "I just know it's been a long day for you is all. Sleep's good for you! Helps you cope; helps the brain recharge, helps the body heal. And the sooner you sleep, the sooner I get another notch for my bed's trophy collection."

She kept her expression serious for half a second longer before she smiled and giggled, letting him in on the teasing joke.

"Seriously though," as she finished the drink. "The tests aren't anything to worry about. Not even physical exams. My understanding is that they got all that info from the transport. They just want to interview everyone, get skills sorted out, figure out where everyone's going to be assigned and all. Actually, if you're not too tired yet, you can fill me in on your best areas of expertise and we can save some time and get you hooked up with a specialty interview all the quicker tomorrow if you want."

 

[Pathalimoss]

Finn wasn't seriously worried about the tests, more nervous. It seemed unlikely that they were a part of any oppressive plans for assigning newcomers to wherever they could be most "useful," yet he couldn't chase the idea entirely from his head. Mostly he just didn't like the idea of being evaluated, especially after years of an almost total lack of authority lurking over his head. Civilisation has its benefits and its costs, he told himself.

"Well," he said, taking a strong draw on his drink and leaning back in his seat. "I think you're fairly familiar with my skills all ready. I was involved in some of the heavy theory that underpinned the design of our Custodians, though I had little to do with the specifics of their final construction. More detail on that will probably have to come once I learn more about your situation in the coming days. Suffice it to say I'll probably have an insight or two worth sharing, unless you all ready have others with equal or superior experience in the field.

"Other than that, I've learned some skills at improvisation in the last few years, like just about everyone else here. I thought that would be an asset to you on Midgard, being relatively new to Ithaca yourselves, but now I'm thinking you have very little need for turning atmospheric analysers into water destillers or knowing how to make thermaplastics from the terraformers' waste output. So, you know anyone in dire need of a sky-diving instructor?" He was pleased to see he could make her grin. "I made some money on the side that way when I was younger. Had hoped Ithaca would make a good place for long jumps, with its lower gravity, but never got the chance. Seems like you guys might be able to get some planes built at some point though; maybe I can take you up some time."

Finn finished his drink and placed the glass down, labouring to get to his feet. He was a lot drowsier than he had been a few minutes ago, and supposed the particular mix of his drink was responsible for that. "I guess that's it for me then. I'll try not to scratch up the notching post of your bed in my sleep." Kendra stood to politely see him to bed, and he took her hand and placed a kiss on it. "Thankyou for everything, Kendra. I'll see you in the morning."

Lowering himself into the luxurious bed, the thought of the exotically beautiful woman in the next room lingered in his head. She was probably stripping down to her underwear for sleep, he thought. Closing his eyes, he smiled and let the softness of the bed swallow him. It had been a long time since he'd had the peace of mind to indulge in such impractical thoughts.

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra sat for a moment, then got up to pour herself a second drink and nursed it for a time in the central room, staring idly out the large window at the view. Only she wasn't really seeing the view. She was thinking of the man in her bed, and wondering how he'd react if, instead of going to sleep in the study like she'd said, she slipped under the sheets with him. She had even put down her drink and was taking a few steps toward the bedroom door when she caught herself.

He hadn't lived here. He likely wasn't used to the way things worked here, and certainly wasn't used to the openness that people had around the place when it came to sex. She didn't want to overwhelm him; best to let him get used to things for a bit longer. And best to let herself get the alcohol out of her system before she took things too far.

She retried to her study, threw a blanket down onto the long couch, tinted the window to put the room into a nice comfortable darkness, and undressed. Finn was wrong about that, to a certain extent—Kendra didn't sleep in her underwear... she didn't sleep in anything at all.

As sleep finally came for her, so did the dream. It hadn't visited her for some time, and it caught her off guard as a result. She was swimming, naked, in an ocean. She wasn't sure what ocean it was, but it was cold. Damn cold, Her breath was frosting, and as she spun in circles, her belly lurched as a huge swell lifted her dozens of feet into the air. Where before she'd sat in a valley of water, now she floated atop a mountainous peak, and in all directions she saw the huge sea swells, driven by storm clouds.

Only it wasn't just storm clouds approaching her, beginning to pelt her with rain and threaten her with lightning. There was something behind the clouds, and as always before, as those clouds drew closer and closer, Kendra thought she could see that something becoming more and more distinct. And as before, as the clouds grew darker, her fear grew more overwhelming. She knew that what was in those clouds, what was thundering up over the horizon, pushing a towering tsunami of water before it, was something wholly deadly and inimical to her life. She closed her eyes, and when she felt her stomach lurch again as she was lifted up by a wave higher than any before, she couldn't help but open them...

...and scream at what she saw.

 

[Pathalimoss]

The sound of wailing in the night was no longer rare in Finn's world, and upon waking he thought himself back in the months that followed the crash, when women and men languished in their beds and moaned in despair. This was different, though. Not the slow melancholy of mourning but a sharper fear. He rushed to bedroom door and opened it, reaching for the memory of where he was.

Kendra was sitting upright on the couch, a silhouette facing either toward or away from him. After taking in the situation he hesitated: a relative stranger waking from a bad dream, in no dire need of assistance. And he was wearing only his boxer shorts. He saw her body was lurching slightly with rapid breathing and heard a faint whimper, and the matter was decided.

"Kendra," he called softly, not wanting to scare her. He sat on the edge of the couch beside her, and only then could he discern that she was indeed facing the window and not him. "You had a bad dream, that's all. You're safe here. You're safe." The words were rote now, after many nights having comforted others on Kethas. She flinched slightly when he first spoke, so he knew she had heard him.

His hand was nearly on her back when he made another realisation. His eyes had adjusted enough to the dim light that the form of her heaving chest was revealed, and he saw the outline of her bare breast. Squinting, he saw that the covers had fallen to her waist. Carefully, he placed his hand on her shoulder, surprised once more at how hot she felt. Again she flinched, but only lightly, and he let the hand remain.

"You're all right. There's nothing to fear here. I'm Finn, from Kethas, and you let me sleep here tonight. It's just you and me in your apartment on Midgard." He knew from experience that some people had a hard time shaking the delusions of their dreams, and such simple reminders could help guide them back to reality. She softened and leaned toward him an inch. He took it as consent to be held, and wrapped one arm around her back and the other across the front of her shoulders, careful to avoid inapproriate contact. Her head was nestled in the crook of his neck and he rocked her gently.

"Would you like to tell me about it? Or shall we talk about something else to take your mind off it? I can stay with you for as long as you like."

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra didn't say anything for a moment, but her breathing quickly returned to normal. Finally, she sat up and pulled the sheets around her body and slid away from his embrace, nestling in the nook of the opposite side of the couch and clutching the sheets to her. It wasn't that she was bashful about her nudity, but shamed at letting someone see her in such a moment of helplessness. But that was come and gone now. She sighed deeply. Maybe it would be good to talk.

"It's just a dream. One I've been having on and off for a long time now. Since I first came to Midgard, in fact. I'm swimming naked in a huge ocean and this storm comes up, and I have this conviction that there's something causing the storm, something huge behind the storm, and each time the dream gets a little closer to me seeing what it is. And I think this time I saw it. And whatever it was... it was bad. Really bad. End of the world bad. End of the universe bad. End of creation bad. And for all that, now that I'm awake, I can't remember a thing of what it looked like."

She looked across the couch at Finn. "It all sounds so silly when I put it into words. I'm sorry I woke you."

 

[Pathalimoss]

Though he hid it, Finn wasn't the least bit bothered by any aspect of the situation. He knew some people were terrorised by their dreams, but they had never held any great power over him, and he couldn't work up the empathy to feel too bad for anyone frightened by their memory. Some people might think that callous, but he consoled himself that he was otherwise a kind and sensitive person, and however he felt, he was doing everything he could.

He also liked the sound of Kendra's dream. His own night-time wanderings tended to be far more mundane, and he was mildly jealous of people who dreamed on such dramatic scale, even if it was the end of the world.

Most of all he was glad to be able to offer his gracious host some service. "It's no trouble at all, I can feel I won't have any problems getting back to sleep. Even being woken in the small hours of the morning, this is the most pleasant night I've had in a long time. Your dream sounds interesting. It's a pity you can't remember what the end of the universe looked like, that would have made for a very interesting description." After saying it he wondered if he had made a mistake, if she might feel he was patronising her. He was going to ask again if she wanted him to stay with her for a while, but sensed a bashfulness and decided he should return to his room.

"Don't hesitate to wake me if there's anything you want to talk about, or if you're just feeling... vulnerable. Or if you reconsider the sleeping arrangements and want your own bed after all."

He stood and moved to the doorway. "Well, goodnight, again. I hope you can sleep more restfully this time."

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra was still feeling a bit fragile after the intensity of her dream, and only nodded as he stood in the doorway, then watched him leave silently. She exhaled a moment later after realizing she had been holding her breath. She pulled the sheet around her and shivered. The dream had all but faded from memory now, but she was still filled with a sense of unease. It HAD felt silly to describe it aloud, but that hadn't made it feel any less terrifying.

She was up and moving before she knew it. Wrapped in the gauzy sheet, she left the room and crossed the living room and knocked softly on the door to her bedroom before opening it slightly.

"I... if you don't mind, I think I'd like to sleep in my bed after all," she said. "But you don't have to leave..." she added in an even softer voice. She bit her lip as she waited for his response.

 

[Pathalimoss]

Somehow just enough faint light from the city outside fell on her face to allow him to see her expression, and he almost laughed. This confident, intelligent, beautiful woman was actually pensive while asking him to share her bed. He wasn't precisely sure what she was suggesting, but there were no possibilities he was going to refuse.

"Of course I don't mind. Please..." he stepped aside and motioned for her to approach the bed, feeling foolish for the sign of welcome when it was he who was the guest. As she passed by he smelled her, and - he was almost certain he hadn't intended to look - he saw the shadowy curves of her bottom through the fine sheet that clothed her. The light from the window did not penetrate far into the room, and she slipped into the darkness and was lost to his eyes, so that he only heard her lower herself onto the mattress.

Her eyes can probably see in this light, he thought, wondering self-consciously if she were watching him, waiting to see what he would do next. He closed the door, completing the darkness, and fumbled his way to the bed. Carefully occupying his side, he lay down facing her, then held still. The only sound he heard for a moment was distant voices, before he caught her soft breathing. He fought back the urge to laugh nervously at the palpability of the situation.

As his hand ventured across the divide he realised he didn't even know which way she would be facing. He had expected to touch her arm, but instead found his hand was suddenly on the curve of her waist; unrestricted even by the token of a blanket she had worn. No doubt she would have objected if she were going to, but more than that, he heard a gentle sigh that seemed to him to speak approval. He traced his fingers delicately up her side, her skin so soft and yet somehow tough as well. He felt an extra softness, and thought it to be the very edge of her breast, but it wasn't until her hand brushed over his forearm that he knew for sure that she was facing him.

"Are you beginning to relax?" he asked, pleased with the gentle bass of his tone.

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

She sighed again as she felt his hand sliding up her body, brushing against her breast. Her heart was beating... pounding, actually. Yet despite that, she was indeed finally starting to get over her nightmare. She reached up to drape her fingers over his forearm as he neared her breast.

Despite her society's openness with sex and pleasure, it had been a long time since Kendra had lain with anyone. The combination of her job and responsibilities certainly had something to do with that... but there was more to it. She wanted to reach out, to touch him, but for now she left her fingers on his arm. There were a few things she wanted to know first.

"Finn," she said, her voice soft. "Tell me what is was like for you... before you came to Midgard. Did you... do you have any friends... um, relationships with anyone? Because we can see about getting you transferred to work with old friends if you want..."

As she spoke, she mentally kicked herself for being so hesitant. Why was this always so hard for her?

 

[Pathalimoss]

It sounded strange to hear her speak of "before he came to Midgard," when it was only hours ago that he had left Kethas. Yet it did feel long ago in a way, lying in the languid darkness of a foreign bedroom, tentatively touching an exotic creature. His mind was drawn to a vague assemblage of allegorical tales, warning travellers to beware of that which seemed too good to be true, and he smiled at the thought that he might be in bed with a siren or a djinn. There was danger in letting her charms beguile him, even if her intentions were pure, but as his fingertips drifted down over the curve of her hip and met the outward edge of her supple bottom, he found he couldn't summon the will to care.

"There was someone," he heard himself say, nearly unaware that his thoughts had turned to Anna. "I think you're asking if I had a lover. We were always at odds early on, and that never really changed. In the confusion and despondancy after the crash, we had very different ideas on how we should proceed. I think in the end we got together for everyone else's sake as much as our own; people were looking to us to lead by then, and our reconciliation gave them something positive to hold onto. In private there was still a strong conflict. She had some theories about what was going on that many considered far-fetched. Me included." He was able to sum this up succinctly because he had explained it to himself many times.

"But she's gone now. More than a year ago. There's been no one since." Saying it outloud brought home for him just how lonely he had been without her. He clutched Kendra more tightly, leaning forward and gently pulling her closer. "Please, there's not... it's not like that. It's just been lonely. And hard, on all of us. I'm very glad to be here with you. Do you think I might, might just hold you while we sleep?"

 

[Pywakit]

Kendra

Kendra listened quietly, enjoying the sound of his voice and the feel of his fingers sliding over her body. She found herself feeling inexplicably jealous of this "Anna" he was talking about, but as he started to draw her closer against him, she felt those feelings fade. When she spoke, her voice was soft.

"We certainly have things a lot easier here on Midgard, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been rough at times. Moreso for some than others. It's good to cherish memories of previous loves, or even previous friendships, because if there's one thing I've learned over the past few years it's that you can't depend upon new ones to come along."

She sighed. She was letting herself slip into depression.

"I would like it very much if you just held me, Finn," she said. "Although I'm not sure I can sleep for a while after that dream..."

 

[Pathalimoss]

"There's no need to sleep right away, waking like that has taken the edge off my weariness and I'm in no rush for silence. In fact I'm really quite jealous of that dream of yours, it sounded very exciting." He was talking to cover the casual familiarity with which he slid his body toward hers, easing his arm around her and stroking her hair. Something in her tone told him she was ready to be comforted and would accept this greater closeness.

He recognised that the dream was distressing for her and not a topic for discussion, so began asking questions on the mundane aspects of life on Midgard, and relating tales of his own as they became relevant. They both stayed clear of any mention of loss or trouble, and it seemed Finn had read her correctly, for he felt her relax in his arms and lean into his embrace.

He couldn't deny the exhilerating effect she was having on him. A small part of him felt guilty for taking advantage of a vulnerable moment, but he knew her distress was not so great, and she was capable of making decisions she would not regret. If she wanted him to back off she would say so; instead, she seemed to welcome his caresses. He grew increasingly confident that she would not rebuke him if he sought to do more than merely hold her. As much as he wanted to, he held back to enjoy the present. If it were going to happen there could only be one first time, and the anticipation was intensifying his appreciation of her beautiful body.

As the night progressed their voices quietened and the conversation slowed, until a quarter hour had passed without a word being spoken. Kendra lay on her side with her back to him, her spine nestled snugly against his chest, her delightful bottom a soft pressure on his thighs. She was not quite asleep, for she still responded to his attention: placing her hand over his when he rested it on her belly, tipping her head forward to accommodate the light kisses he pressed into her neck. She even pushed her lower leg forward a fraction when his hand strayed below her hip. Finn reveled in the smoothness of her inner thigh, growing modestly aroused as his fingertips explored its expanse. A moment later he was cupping her. He felt the full flesh of her lips against his hand, his middle finger gently tracing the crevice between, parting them slightly to taste a hint of moisture.

Immediately he froze; what the fuck was he doing? After a second's hesitation he continued the stroke up over her pubic mound and stomach, moving slowly, feigning nothing more than a platonic caress. It was a hopeless charade; his fingers had only lingered a moment, but the sexual nature of the touch was unmistakable. He hadn't just brushed over the surface, he had indulged himself in her intimately. Replaying the event in his mind he found her reaction. There had been no sharp response, only a slight but distinct catch in her breath and perhaps a flinch in her stomach. It could not have come as a great surprise to her. She would have felt the path his hand was tracing and been keenly aware of where he was headed. He had not noted her reaction at the time because it seemed a normal response from a woman being touched in that way. But of course, his only references came from women who had been his lovers.

As confident as he had been that she would not deny his sexual advances, it now seemed suddenly inappropriate to have taken this step without warning or allowing her any chance to signal her approval. He waited, and nothing was said. The chance to acknowledge and apologise quietly slipped away. He wanted to roll over to give her space, but that would have been too conspicuous. His only choice was to lie still and let the moment pass. He dared one last kiss on her neck, then let sleep take him.