I went into the chat room for the first time today. I have a nice, vivid fantasy life on my own, but I thought this might be fun. I've just started getting bolder with my husband and trying things I never have done before. I always thought talking dirty to someone in a chat room was kind of silly and avoided it, but lately it sounds exciting. My husband gets rather jealous about me talking this way with another man, and while I understand his feelings, I disagree completely with him on the concept. I feel that it's just fun and games. I will never reveal my real name or know for sure what the other person's name is. I will never meet anyone in person. There are no strings attached whatsoever, and I can always close the box and go away if I'm not comfortable. (Although the people I met today were all very nice and seemed pretty normal. LOL) DH seems to feel it's that he's not good enough all by himself for me, and he's afraid I'll find someone I like better. I tried to explain to him that he is the only person I want to be with, and if I were to do ANYthing physical with another person, it would be because he had basically signed, sealed, and delivered me to them with his full blessing and encouragement. I would do just about anything for him. So, after my ramble, here's my question. It seems to me that if I have some fun and chat while he's at work, but don't tell him, no harm, no foul. He would only be upset to know, and there's nothing I'm doing that should upset him. I liken it to masturbating while thinking about Mel Gibson. I'm certainly not going to greet him at the door after work with "honey, guess what I did three times today?" LOL So what does everyone else think? Anything wrong with my logic? Thanks...and please answer me! I really don't want to be one of those people who kills every thread she touches! LOL
Is this wrong?
- Thread starter katherine
- Start date
CelticsHeart
Really Experienced
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- May 8, 2001
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hmmmm....
As one who has cyber`d with the best of them I can say only this...it isn`t really what it means to you, it`s more what it means to your husband.
You have to ask yourself if it`s worth putting a barrier between your R/T relationship or the the sake of cyber.....also, if it were him who was chatting...would you feel as he does now?
I`ve had a little situation akin to this in the past myself, and when I asked myself how I`d deal with it I knew it was better to stop.
Just my humble opinion, good luck!
Heart
As one who has cyber`d with the best of them I can say only this...it isn`t really what it means to you, it`s more what it means to your husband.
You have to ask yourself if it`s worth putting a barrier between your R/T relationship or the the sake of cyber.....also, if it were him who was chatting...would you feel as he does now?
I`ve had a little situation akin to this in the past myself, and when I asked myself how I`d deal with it I knew it was better to stop.
Just my humble opinion, good luck!
Heart
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
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- Aug 19, 2000
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- 7,476
Are You?
The same Katherine that posted in the How To board about swinging with your husband and a couple you are friends with?
If you are, reading your posts makes me wonder what you are lacking in your life, to make you want things you know your husband is uncomfortable with. I mean chatting on line is one thing. But trying to convince him to swing is another can of worms. Seems to me the two of you really need to have a serious conversation about what is going on in your relationship.
The same Katherine that posted in the How To board about swinging with your husband and a couple you are friends with?
If you are, reading your posts makes me wonder what you are lacking in your life, to make you want things you know your husband is uncomfortable with. I mean chatting on line is one thing. But trying to convince him to swing is another can of worms. Seems to me the two of you really need to have a serious conversation about what is going on in your relationship.
roosterboy
Really Really Experienced
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Your husband's an idoit!
Now, what chat room was that again? *looking (again) for pad and pen*
Now, what chat room was that again? *looking (again) for pad and pen*
SleepingWarrior
Egocentric Sociopath
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It is kind of like emotional cheating, 'specially if you resort to doing it behind his back.
G
Guest
Guest
Yes, same Katherine. We do have a lot to figure out. We've been talking a lot lately, and that's why I've been trying new things. He seems to be more open to my fantasies when I try harder to fulfill his, though he refuses to tell me what they are most of the time. I try to bring up things to try that I've been afraid to try in the past, and he seems to really get off on the fact that I'm trying so hard to please him. Part of my problem right now is that since I've become pregnant again, this raging, uncontrollable horniness has swept over me and taken hold. LOL I have never felt this way before, even in our other pregnancies, and I feel like I'm going crazy! Like I said, to me it's fun and games, but I can see what you folks mean too. I don't know! I'm just really confused!
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
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You are pregnant with other children in the house and you are trying to figure out how to get him to swing? I have to tell you that completely floors me. If you are that horny and he can't fulfill your needs, buy some toys and some movies or read some stories here and go to town.
Don't get me wrong swinging can work wonderfully for people that are so inclined that way. But it is obvious that your man isn't. Maybe he would be if he didn't have children to be concerned about. Or your pregnancy even. Maybe it is one of those things in his mind that is a wonderful thought. Just not one to be acted out. Fantasies are such a good thing and many of them are best left that way. Bringing someone else in to your bed, could dearly change your relationship in ways you haven't even thought of.
So like I said before...keep talking. It's bound to make a change one way or the other. I also think that until things make that change one way or the other, stay away from the activities that confuse you. Especially ones you know he'd not be happy with. In the end if he finds out he could be very hurt and lash out at you. Do you really want your children exposed to that?
OK. I'm done now.
Good Luck~Ally
Don't get me wrong swinging can work wonderfully for people that are so inclined that way. But it is obvious that your man isn't. Maybe he would be if he didn't have children to be concerned about. Or your pregnancy even. Maybe it is one of those things in his mind that is a wonderful thought. Just not one to be acted out. Fantasies are such a good thing and many of them are best left that way. Bringing someone else in to your bed, could dearly change your relationship in ways you haven't even thought of.
So like I said before...keep talking. It's bound to make a change one way or the other. I also think that until things make that change one way or the other, stay away from the activities that confuse you. Especially ones you know he'd not be happy with. In the end if he finds out he could be very hurt and lash out at you. Do you really want your children exposed to that?
OK. I'm done now.
Good Luck~Ally
Mr.curious
Really Experienced
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- Mar 25, 2001
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I know how your husband feels. I went throw a bit of rage and jealousy when I knew my sweety was cybering. But after about 3 months of this(sorry Honey) I came to realize that she was just playing a game. I'm the one who gets to fulfill those wild fantasies when she's done chatting.
Just remember he loves you and give him a little extra cuddling and loving so he doen't feel left out.
( it worked for me)
Thank you baby!!!!!!!
Just remember he loves you and give him a little extra cuddling and loving so he doen't feel left out.
( it worked for me)
Thank you baby!!!!!!!
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Ally, it's not that he's totally turned off by swinging. Maybe I wasn't clear. He's interested in it as a fantasy, and sometimes considers doing it in reality. He waffles on it, which makes me think that, in time, he will come around and maybe want to do it. In the other post you referred to, I was asking if anyone could suggest ways to help me gently work him into it. As for the chat room, I think I'll just tell him I went there today to check it out, and I'd like to go back sometime. Then see what he says and go from there.
If you want to be really shocked, I can tell you we have four kids six and under already, and another on the way! I'm married to one of the real good guys! : ) I have about two hours a day to play on the computer, and that's when the kids are sleeping for the most part. I got lucky today in that they napped too. LOL I stay home, and we get to go out without the kids about once every six months. When this is your life, you learn to be unusually creative when it comes to alone time! Right now, we're just having a hard time communicating. Neither of us is very good at talking about sex, and that's part of why I like Literotica. I can bring him a story I've read and see what he thinks and vice versa. We're both just trying to learn more about who we are as individuals as well as parents and lovers. Thanks for the great responses! --kat
If you want to be really shocked, I can tell you we have four kids six and under already, and another on the way! I'm married to one of the real good guys! : ) I have about two hours a day to play on the computer, and that's when the kids are sleeping for the most part. I got lucky today in that they napped too. LOL I stay home, and we get to go out without the kids about once every six months. When this is your life, you learn to be unusually creative when it comes to alone time! Right now, we're just having a hard time communicating. Neither of us is very good at talking about sex, and that's part of why I like Literotica. I can bring him a story I've read and see what he thinks and vice versa. We're both just trying to learn more about who we are as individuals as well as parents and lovers. Thanks for the great responses! --kat
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2000
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Kat
Your situation sounds very much like mine at times. We talk and play with the idea of swinging. But in the end it comes down to a couple of things. One, somethings are better just played with. It's a lovely idea...BUT who knows how it will affect our relationship. Two, our daughter, we don't want her growing up in broken homes like we did. So for that reason until she is older and/or we are more sure of ourselves it remains a really wicked thought.
Funny thing is before she was born at a time when swinging was a little bit doable for us. Neither of us was ready to admit to the other that we liked the idea. So I guess talking is key and it get easier with time.
My life isn't all that different than yours. Other than I have one daughter not more. We rarely go out and we rarely see each other. We work different shifts so that she doesn't have to go to a sitter 40 hours a week. We all try to do with is right for our kids I guess.
You'll also be happy to know I think I've said more to you today, than I have anyone ever in my almost entire year on this board. I tend to lurk a lot.
Once again...Good Luck~Ally
Your situation sounds very much like mine at times. We talk and play with the idea of swinging. But in the end it comes down to a couple of things. One, somethings are better just played with. It's a lovely idea...BUT who knows how it will affect our relationship. Two, our daughter, we don't want her growing up in broken homes like we did. So for that reason until she is older and/or we are more sure of ourselves it remains a really wicked thought.
Funny thing is before she was born at a time when swinging was a little bit doable for us. Neither of us was ready to admit to the other that we liked the idea. So I guess talking is key and it get easier with time.
My life isn't all that different than yours. Other than I have one daughter not more. We rarely go out and we rarely see each other. We work different shifts so that she doesn't have to go to a sitter 40 hours a week. We all try to do with is right for our kids I guess.
You'll also be happy to know I think I've said more to you today, than I have anyone ever in my almost entire year on this board. I tend to lurk a lot.
Once again...Good Luck~Ally
