Is this satire?

Liar

now with 17% more class
Joined
Dec 4, 2003
Posts
43,715
Or is the world really this insane?

I just stumbled onto this article. It's on a blog that seems to be a total mayhem of far-out opinions in every direction.

It's so close to some reports about what happens in schools over there that I'm almost believing it. But this must be a joke, right?


My favourite part is:

Parents across the country are now on the look out for rainbows and the colors used to create them, as well as other known symbols of the homosexual agenda including dancing flags, kites, bubble gum, tambourines, whistles and green lasers.

Tambourines?


http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/06/gay_coloring_as.html

---------------

Gay Coloring Assignment Has Parents of Nursery Schoolers Seeing Red

Rainbow_thumbParents of toddlers attending a Geneva, NY nursery school responded in outrage after their children were instructed to draw and color a known symbol of the homosexual agenda: the rainbow. The school has since apologized for the episode and is taking measures to prevent future incidents, including limiting the number of crayons and markers which children can use to color.

A move to limit coloring tots to three shades: red, white and blue

By Cole Walters, education correspondent

Rainbow2GENEVA, NY—When four-year-old Amanda Parker arrived home from nursery school at East Street Elementary last week, she was eager to show her parents the picture she'd drawn that day. But when the tot removed the crayon-on-manila-paper creation from her bulging backpack, her parents were shocked at what they saw. Amanda had drawn and colored a rainbow, the official symbol of the homosexual agenda in this country.

"To say we were taken aback would be a serious understatement," says Amanda's father Dan, a facilities technician. "As soon as we saw what she had in her hand our jaws just dropped." Then came the hard part: Dan and his wife Margie had to explain to their daughter what was wrong with the picture she'd drawn and the colors she'd used.

"She got it," he notes. "We tore it up as a family." That night, with Amanda tucked in and in the arms of the Sandman, Dan and Margie began to discuss filing a lawsuit against the school.

For school, not pot of gold
Administrators at East Street Elementary declined to talk to the press, but sources close to the school say that they've acted quickly to curtail any damage stemming from the incident. Katie Chernowitz, the teacher who encouraged her students to both draw and color rainbows, has been placed on indefinite administrative leave. The school has also moved to limit the colors of markers, crayons and paints that its K-4 students can use in an effort to prevent future rainbow incidents from occurring and further tarring the school's reputation.

Color me angry
That's good news, says peeved parent Connie Martineau, who called the school principal after her son Scout expressed some discomfort about the rainbow coloring assignment. "We've taught him well," says Mrs. Martineau. "He knows that a rainbow, especially one that includes colors like pink and purple, isn't just something you see in the sky after it rains. It's a symbol of the homosexual agenda."

Now, several of the parents have formed a committee to approve in-class assignments—from coloring to spelling exercises—to ensure that they meet strict family values standards. "If we had learned that the teacher expected them to color rainbows, you can guarantee that it wouldn't have happened," says Mrs. Martineau.

Searching for symbols
The rainbow incident is just the latest skirmish in an increasingly hard-fought culture war, in which parents like Martineau must be hyper vigilant in the event that their children are exposed to gay-friendly images and language in the classroom. Parents across the country are now on the look out for rainbows and the colors used to create them, as well as other known symbols of the homosexual agenda including dancing flags, kites, bubble gum, tambourines, whistles and green lasers.

Back at the Parker's house, Dan and Margie are helping Amanda prepare for another day at nursery school. Into the VeggieTales book bag goes a snack pack, a child's cardigan and a small box of crayons. This last item is new—just a week ago, Amanda routinely took a 64-count box of crayons to school, including a set of multicultural crayons to help her draw and color different skin tones. But today Amanda is taking just three crayons to school: one each in red, white and blue.

"That may not be every color in the rainbow but that's really the point," says Dan Parker. "If she has to give up a few colors to fight the homosexual agenda, it's worth it."
 
Liar said:
Or is the world really this insane?

I just stumbled onto this article. It's on a blog that seems to be a total mayhem of far-out opinions in every direction.

It's so close to some reports about what happens in schools over there that I'm almost believing it. But this must be a joke, right?


My favourite part is:

Parents across the country are now on the look out for rainbows and the colors used to create them, as well as other known symbols of the homosexual agenda including dancing flags, kites, bubble gum, tambourines, whistles and green lasers.

Tambourines?


http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/06/gay_coloring_as.html

---------------

Gay Coloring Assignment Has Parents of Nursery Schoolers Seeing Red

Rainbow_thumbParents of toddlers attending a Geneva, NY nursery school responded in outrage after their children were instructed to draw and color a known symbol of the homosexual agenda: the rainbow. The school has since apologized for the episode and is taking measures to prevent future incidents, including limiting the number of crayons and markers which children can use to color.

A move to limit coloring tots to three shades: red, white and blue

By Cole Walters, education correspondent

Rainbow2GENEVA, NY—When four-year-old Amanda Parker arrived home from nursery school at East Street Elementary last week, she was eager to show her parents the picture she'd drawn that day. But when the tot removed the crayon-on-manila-paper creation from her bulging backpack, her parents were shocked at what they saw. Amanda had drawn and colored a rainbow, the official symbol of the homosexual agenda in this country.

"To say we were taken aback would be a serious understatement," says Amanda's father Dan, a facilities technician. "As soon as we saw what she had in her hand our jaws just dropped." Then came the hard part: Dan and his wife Margie had to explain to their daughter what was wrong with the picture she'd drawn and the colors she'd used.

"She got it," he notes. "We tore it up as a family." That night, with Amanda tucked in and in the arms of the Sandman, Dan and Margie began to discuss filing a lawsuit against the school.

For school, not pot of gold
Administrators at East Street Elementary declined to talk to the press, but sources close to the school say that they've acted quickly to curtail any damage stemming from the incident. Katie Chernowitz, the teacher who encouraged her students to both draw and color rainbows, has been placed on indefinite administrative leave. The school has also moved to limit the colors of markers, crayons and paints that its K-4 students can use in an effort to prevent future rainbow incidents from occurring and further tarring the school's reputation.

Color me angry
That's good news, says peeved parent Connie Martineau, who called the school principal after her son Scout expressed some discomfort about the rainbow coloring assignment. "We've taught him well," says Mrs. Martineau. "He knows that a rainbow, especially one that includes colors like pink and purple, isn't just something you see in the sky after it rains. It's a symbol of the homosexual agenda."

Now, several of the parents have formed a committee to approve in-class assignments—from coloring to spelling exercises—to ensure that they meet strict family values standards. "If we had learned that the teacher expected them to color rainbows, you can guarantee that it wouldn't have happened," says Mrs. Martineau.

Searching for symbols
The rainbow incident is just the latest skirmish in an increasingly hard-fought culture war, in which parents like Martineau must be hyper vigilant in the event that their children are exposed to gay-friendly images and language in the classroom. Parents across the country are now on the look out for rainbows and the colors used to create them, as well as other known symbols of the homosexual agenda including dancing flags, kites, bubble gum, tambourines, whistles and green lasers.

Back at the Parker's house, Dan and Margie are helping Amanda prepare for another day at nursery school. Into the VeggieTales book bag goes a snack pack, a child's cardigan and a small box of crayons. This last item is new—just a week ago, Amanda routinely took a 64-count box of crayons to school, including a set of multicultural crayons to help her draw and color different skin tones. But today Amanda is taking just three crayons to school: one each in red, white and blue.

"That may not be every color in the rainbow but that's really the point," says Dan Parker. "If she has to give up a few colors to fight the homosexual agenda, it's worth it."

Its all "Under Milkwood" fodder, love :D. GO FOR IT!
 
Wow.

Seems things sure have changed since the days of proudly showing the folks first renditions of pee-pee's and wee-wee's.
 
Liar said:
It's so close to some reports about what happens in schools over there that I'm almost believing it. But this must be a joke, right?

The only google news hit for this story is:

Swift Report (satire) - Jun 17, 2005
... a Geneva, NY nursery school responded in outrage after their children were instructed to draw and color a known symbol of the homosexual agenda: the rainbow. ...

Since the only "Legitimate News Story" hit is clearly labeled as a satire site I'd have to guess that it probably IS satire.

That didn't stop a lot of outrage being expressed last month when this story was highlighted on the GB, though.
 
Weird Harold said:
The only google news hit for this story is:



Since the only "Legitimate News Story" hit is clearly labeled as a satire site I'd have to guess that it probably IS satire.

That didn't stop a lot of outrage being expressed last month when this story was highlighted on the GB, though.

That's because many of them aren't quite past crayons yet themselves.
 
All I can say is, if that is serious I need to find those concerned parent and introduce them to my theory of beating the STUPIDITY out of people. :mad:
 
ProofreadManx said:
Wow.

Seems things sure have changed since the days of proudly showing the folks first renditions of pee-pee's and wee-wee's.


:D

Our son kept writing the word "BOOB" all over his school papers last year complete with rounded circle looped upon circle. He's six.

We were a bit startled until we realized he was attempting to write the word "BOOM" and the swirls were explosions.

Still, his dad is quite proud. :cool:
 
Dranoel said:
All I can say is, if that is serious I need to find those concerned parent and introduce them to my theory of beating the STUPIDITY out of people. :mad:
I hate to dissapoint you, but my empiric experiments on the subject shows that stupidity is not curable that way. It is more likely to kill one of the four brain cells they used, making them even more stupid.
 
erise said:
I hate to dissapoint you, but my empiric experiments on the subject shows that stupidity is not curable that way. It is more likely to kill one of the four brain cells they used, making them even more stupid.

I quite disagree.

When a subject is beaten until those remaining four brain cells no longer function, they are permanatly cured of stupidity.

And if done before the subject can procreate, it will prevent stupidity in their children.
 
sweetsubsarahh said:
That's because many of them aren't quite past crayons yet themselves.

Could be...

It's not like Lit required an intelligence test or even a test for critical thinking to participate in discussions.

Far too many people believe "if it's on the internet it must be true" for my peace of mind.
 
Weird Harold said:
Could be...

It's not like Lit required an intelligence test or even a test for critical thinking to participate in discussions.

Far too many people believe "if it's on the internet it must be true" for my peace of mind.

Yes.

And with the incredible news events happening as of late, sometimes it is difficult to tell which is reality and which is, indeed, satire.

I won't go into specifics, but the current political climate falls under that definition.
 
Dranoel said:
I quite disagree.

When a subject is beaten until those remaining four brain cells no longer function, they are permanatly cured of stupidity.

And if done before the subject can procreate, it will prevent stupidity in their children.
Corrected, I stand. :)
 
erise said:
Corrected, I stand. :)

Welcome to the Author's Hangout, by the way!

I was going to congratulate your first post but was caught up in the satirical swarm of emotion on this thread.

Welcome!

:rose:
 
sweetsubsarahh said:
Thank you! :cathappy:

Now, who do I have to get it on with to get rid of that pesky Virgin tag?
 
erise said:
Thank you! :cathappy:

Now, who do I have to get it on with to get rid of that pesky Virgin tag?
Me.




Actually, you need some posts, that's all. 30, I think.

I'm still free if you want to get it on. :D
 
erise said:
Thank you! :cathappy:

Now, who do I have to get it on with to get rid of that pesky Virgin tag?

Don't worry... that pesky cherry will pop on it's own at fifty posts or so.......
 
Liar said:
Actually, you need some posts, that's all. 30, I think
TxRad said:
Don't worry... that pesky cherry will pop on it's own at fifty posts or so.......
Aha. I better get posting then.
 
Try "The last person to post here wins...."

It's always popular among the newbs. ;)

And welcome to the AH.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Apparently this is satire.

A couple of Googles revealed:

No story in the Geneva, NY newspaper, Finger Lake Times, I believe it is.

No East Street Elementary School in Geneva, NY or surrounding area although there is a West Street Elementary School.

Sad thing is that some of us thought it believable enough to Google.

Sadder still, Jerry Falwell is laughing his ass off.

Wonder if he could use a truckload of fertilizer?

Ed
.
 
Edward Teach said:
Wonder if he could use a truckload of fertilizer?

Ed
.

He's already full of shit but if you can get two trucks, I'll drive.
 
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