Is this an OK email?

[Seamus123]

.....

 

[tickledkitty]

There are some punctuation problems, and the tone of the note overall is rather...I don't know. Submissive? You are putting this guy in a position of superiority over you. I realize that in this instance he is the authority. However, in my experience in business correspondence, it's better to maintain a more assertive tone. You don't want to seem like you're begging or grovelling, especially since you are going to be freelancing. You will be your own boss. Right?

Also, I believe in e-mails, it's better not to say "Dear..." I'd rather see it as simply the guy's name (Mr.______) with a colon after it. Then skip a line and continue.

Additionally, I would leave off the bit about "offending anyone." Again, that sounds too much like grovelling, and I think you could find a better way to say the same thing if you feel it's necessary.

Hope this helps!

 

[glynndah]

For the most part, I agree with TK. I'd be brief and to the point, a few lines at most. Any longer and it begins to look like those oddball spam filter avoidance things that I get occasionally.

 

[Carnevil9]

I get lots of letters much like this in my work (not in the writing bizz, though). If I can answer it immediately and quickly, I do. If it takes some thought or some research, or just more than a couple of minutes to type up, I put it aside for later... and generally never answer it at all.

So my recommendation is to include only one simple question that your correspondent can likely answer off the top of his head. This should maximize your probability of a reply.

Good luck!