Is there such as too much detail?

[Tf8008]

Hi, this is my first time on the forums, but I've been an off-and-on reader on the site for over 15 years. I've written three stories on here that I'm proud to say have been rated high, which tells me that I did something right, having never written stuff like this before up until two years ago when I wrote my first one.

Anyway, I digress... back to the topic question. I'm in the middle of writing my fourth story, and I'm fearing it might end up being too long because I get carried away with describing things that the reader probably doesn't care about. Do I bother to describe what the bathroom looks like if it's only used in the story for three paragraphs? Do I bother mentioning that my son is wearing a Spiderman shirt when he isn't even mentioned again for the rest of the chapter?

With erotic literature, I'm sure it's safe to assume that most readers only care about one thing in particular, but to me it's important to know the setting as well. But how much is too much?

Thank you,

Jordan

 

[MillieDynamite]

Hi, this is my first time on the forums, but I've been an off-and-on reader on the site for over 15 years. I've written three stories on here that I'm proud to say have been rated high, which tells me that I did something right, having never written stuff like this before up until two years ago when I wrote my first one.

Anyway, I digress... back to the topic question. I'm in the middle of writing my fourth story, and I'm fearing it might end up being too long because I get carried away with describing things that the reader probably doesn't care about. Do I bother to describe what the bathroom looks like if it's only used in the story for three paragraphs? Do I bother mentioning that my son is wearing a Spiderman shirt when he isn't even mentioned again for the rest of the chapter?

With erotic literature, I'm sure it's safe to assume that most readers only care about one thing in particular, but to me it's important to know the setting as well. But how much is too much?

Thank you,

Jordan

I wouldn't allow the story to get bogged down in description, though I think I have done so at times, I wouldn't shy away from descriptions either. You want the reader to see the world their in, then describe what is necessary to do so. I don't mind a tidbit about a character either, the Spiderman shirt is a nice touch and is instantly relatable to the reader. I'm not sure how important the son is to the overall plot, but describing his clothing isn't a bad thing. A story, to be a story, and not just jerk material, needs details.

 

[KeithD]

Yes, there easily can be too much--and irrelevant--detail in a story.

 

[yowser]

Welcome.

And absolutely.

Detail that engages the reader and moves the story forward is gold. Much fiction (erotic or not) is well served by a Less-is-More approach. The unusual or 'telling' detail can grant insight into the characters, and helps establish the narrator as reliable and observant, important elements if you want your readers to continue..

 

[EbonyKat]

Hi,

I'll repeat what others have said here. A good story can be as long as you like in order to tell it properly. I thought mine went on far too long and had too much detail about hair removal, but readers seemed to like it. It ended up over 20k words, I think. It wasn't exactly a beginning to end sex romp either. Lol. I like telling the details because it was important to me.

Hope this helps,

Katy

 

[Paul_Chance]

Given the peculiarities of this forum (specifically it's "free" status), I would say "go as deep into detail as you want". You'll find some readers will like it and some won't, which is pretty much true of any story you publish here. I've read everything from generic stories to incredibly detailed stories - some worked, some didn't.

For my own writing style, I am in the same school as Keith - don't include anything that doesn't drive the story. For me, if I am including a detail of clothing (such as the spiderman shirt), then it serves a purpose (foreshadowing, etc.) that will be relevant to the story.

The example I usually give is Tom Clancy and the whole "military fiction" - I am not a fan of it, but the people I do know who are fans are absolutely in love with the level of detail around the hardware. The same holds true in erotica.

 

[Auden James]

Definitely. Overwriting is annoying. Such writing is tiring and boring. Leads to skipping and skimming. Steer clear of it! (Counter-check not only the amount of description but also adjectives in your manuscript.)

 

[MillieDynamite]

Given the peculiarities of this forum (specifically it's "free" status), I would say "go as deep into detail as you want". You'll find some readers will like it and some won't, which is pretty much true of any story you publish here. I've read everything from generic stories to incredibly detailed stories - some worked, some didn't.

For my own writing style, I am in the same school as Keith - don't include anything that doesn't drive the story. For me, if I am including a detail of clothing (such as the spiderman shirt), then it serves a purpose (foreshadowing, etc.) that will be relevant to the story.

The example I usually give is Tom Clancy and the whole "military fiction" - I am not a fan of it, but the people I do know who are fans are absolutely in love with the level of detail around the hardware. The same holds true in erotica.

Tom Clancy's plotting is always impeccable. However, he often gets bogged down in the details. Long histories of minor characters that are of minimal importance to the story.

For example, the captain of the cost guard cutter discovers the smugglers onboard an American yacht. Several chapters were written on his career before the United States Coast Guard Cutter USCGC Panache intercepted a vessel in the Caribbean Sea. Said Captain scares the details out of the two men with a mock execution. After this, the ship and her captain disappear from the story.

Over 100 pages spent the captain's history and events leading to the boarding the vessel. Once they gain the intel and relay the information to the White House, the captain, the ship and crew, are no longer in the story.

edited
Having reviewed my memory and having examined the story Jack Ryan wiki, The coast guard cutter does reinter the story near the end of the book. But still, the involvement of all the histrionics slowed down the book. And while important, the Captain's life didn't warrant that much information. Often, watching movies based on books, you get the two, somewhat, mixed up. There isn't nearly as much similarity between the book and movie as one might suppose. In fact the movie is a highly compressed version of the book with to many differences to go into.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Definitely. Overwriting is annoying. Such writing is tiring and boring. Leads to skipping and skimming. Steer clear of it! (Counter-check not only the amount of description but also adjectives in your manuscript.)

I'd say the bigger sin in writing is adverbs. Especially those after dialog.

 

[SimonDoom]

Yes. Every word in a story should serve a purpose. Extraneous details bog down the story.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

OK, up the down staircase…

I’m with Paul Chance. It’s your story. Write it the way you want.

There are a lot of ‘strokers’ here, very short, Insert-Tab-A-Into-Slot-B stories with no particular pretence at plot, characterizations, etc. And they’re very popular in some circles. They’re read for, as you say, just one purpose and they generally succeed.

There are others with some pretence of being literature. They are stories with erotic elements vice slam-and-done ‘action’ tales. I very much prefer these and I don’t think I’m entirely alone.

Can there be ‘too much’? Sure, but not if it’s well-written. A well-crafted tale - however long it is - will have every detail contribute to its success. Making that work is the challenge for the writer.

Good luck.

 

[Auden James]

I'd say the bigger sin in writing is adverbs. Especially those after dialog.

Not so sure about that, to be honest. I think the hatred of adverbs in the creative writing sphere is almost as clichéd as the "show don't tell" adage. Take for example a sentence like this:

He let go of her hair as he reached around and took brutal grip of her big, beautiful tits with his rough, mauling, all-too-masculine hands.

I count some five or six adjectives (not sure if "mauling" functions as a participial adjective or still as a verb here), and not one seems really necessary, at least to my mind, especially if you consider that this sentence is taken from a story's final sex scene, so the reader already knows about the tits and hands of the copulating couple. Compare that sentence to this edited version without any adjectives:

He let go of her hair as he reached around and grabbed her tits with his hands.

Which one do you find cleaner and more vigorous?

 

[TadOverdon]

Probably. I describe what my characters wear in too much detail sometimes and then just go back and cut it down later. I'll just have a real specific mental image, often from watching people on the streets or restaurants. I saw a woman in a cafe a few months ago and decided that what she was wearing was what my protagonist had on when she boarded a plane in a hurry, and wound up describing it down to the socks. And then took most of it out again.


I guess the description in the text is a kind of note-taking, first time through.

 

[Handley_Page]

Hi, this is my first time on the forums, but I've been an off-and-on reader on the site for over 15 years. I've written three stories on here that I'm proud to say have been rated high, which tells me that I did something right, having never written stuff like this before up until two years ago when I wrote my first one.

Anyway, I digress... back to the topic question. I'm in the middle of writing my fourth story, and I'm fearing it might end up being too long because I get carried away with describing things that the reader probably doesn't care about. Do I bother to describe what the bathroom looks like if it's only used in the story for three paragraphs? Do I bother mentioning that my son is wearing a Spiderman shirt when he isn't even mentioned again for the rest of the chapter?

With erotic literature, I'm sure it's safe to assume that most readers only care about one thing in particular, but to me it's important to know the setting as well. But how much is too much?

Thank you,

Jordan

Such 'minor' details are a good way of getting the character right.
That 'your son' is wearing his 'Spiderman' outfit does much to reflect well upon the general situation.

 

[SimonDoom]

Can there be ‘too much’? Sure, but not if it’s well-written. A well-crafted tale - however long it is - will have every detail contribute to its success. Making that work is the challenge for the writer.

Good luck.

I think this advice, properly understood, is consistent with the rest of the advice being given here. I agree with it.

The level of detail won't be the same for every story. It all depends on what the author is trying to do with the story.

Level of detail and complexity/depth aren't the same. Henry James is a complex and deep writer, whose novels delve deeply into people's feelings and manners, but he's not a great noticer of visual things. You don't get a lot of physical description of people and places in his stories. It's not an essential part of what he's trying to do.

The key is that your details should serve a purpose. If describing a room, or a person's clothing, in great detail helps establish a sense of place or a sense of that person's personality, then the detail may be just fine. But if not, consider leaving it out.

 

[KeithD]

I write a lot of mysteries. Misdirection details or clues buried in other details, if handled right, would be serving the plotline.

 

[Emirus]

Tom Clancy's plotting is always impeccable. However, he often gets bogged down in the details. Long histories of minor characters that are of minimal importance to the story..

Now then, Miss Dynamite, don’t you dare criticise the man who created Jack Ryan! lol. Continue in this vein and you may find secret agents have, on my instructions, placed a bomb under a sensitive part. Seriously there are examples of unnecessary dialogue but there are other successful writers who suffer from the same diarrhoea.

I’ve read many good stories on this site where I’ve skipped over whole paragraphs because they were surplus to requirements and it’s never spoiled my enjoyment. It’s a balancing act between too little and too much.

As a writer you just have to write your story and hope readers will enjoy it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Now then, Miss Dynamite, don’t you dare criticise the man who created Jack Ryan! lol. Continue in this vein and you may find secret agents have, on my instructions, placed a bomb under a sensitive part. Seriously there are examples of unnecessary dialogue but there are other successful writers who suffer from the same diarrhoea.

I’ve read many good stories on this site where I’ve skipped over whole paragraphs because they were surplus to requirements and it’s never spoiled my enjoyment. It’s a balancing act between too little and too much.

As a writer you just have to write your story and hope readers will enjoy it.

I prefer Clive Cussler's novels to those of Tom Clancy, to each his own. As far as spies goes, the James Bond books written by Ian Fleming are my favorite. Not wild about the movies adapted from Clancy's works, and I find the first Three movies in the Jack Ryan series superior to the books. Not a fan of the later movies though.

I like John le Carré's works and love Smiley in book or film. Who would suspect a glasses wearing man to be a master spy?

But again, to each his own.

 

[Tf8008]

Thanks everyone for all the great advice! I haven't really written anything at all in the last 20 years. I aced my high school Creative Writing course but zoned out during college English and definitely don't recall the term "participial adjective" lol

This advice was all great and I appreciate it all

 

[LAHomedog]

I like detail if it is describing a character, action, setting a scene, establishing a mood. Details make the moment.

Would the car chase in "Buttit" be as good without the green '68 Mustang? "Would Anne Hathaway's character develop, growth, and discovering her true self in "The Devil Wears Prada" without the wardrobe. What would a Bond movie be without the foreign locations, and shots of the scenery that look like a travelogue? Would Indiana Jones be Indie without the hat?

Yes, too much detail can weigh a story down and make it a tough and boring slog, but without it there is no richness or evocative story telling. My two cents.

 

[PennameWombat]

<snip>
This advice was all great and I appreciate it all

I might be late, but since I'm living this...

I'm working on a story of Americans visiting Paris. They use the Metro (the subway/tube system, although much of it is above-ground).

Is it important that some of the Metro line carriages use rubber tires (yeah, tyres for those of you who insist ) and others use steel wheels?

Mostly not. Noticing that MIGHT be the case if my characters are urban and, e.g., spend lots of time riding the NY subway, or similar. But not much more than notice. That was me, first time in Paris. But beyond the thought "that's funky," I hopped on and didn't worry about it.

Is it also important to go into a description of the difference in acceleration and deceleration for rubber- versus steel-on-steel? Rubber faster. Rubber quieter. Rubber gets blowouts, so you still need the steel rails as backup. How do the carriages deal with blowouts? No.

Now, if, say, a blowout leads to a meeting because two people bump against each other when it happens... and that leads to a conversation... and that leads to a night of hot, depraved sex... then blowouts and how the trains still move might be germane to mention. A bit.

 

[KeithD]

Is it important that some of the Metro line carriages use rubber tires (yeah, tyres for those of you who insist ) and others use steel wheels?

M

It might depending on whether the body thrown under the train just had tire marks on it or had been sliced in two by the steel.

 

[PennameWombat]

It might depending on whether the body thrown under the train just had tire marks on it or had been sliced in two by the steel.

Primo example

But that won't explain where the top half of the body went especially if it's not the half that was between the rails. Has either half been dragged (a trail of blood and intestines...) or... hmm. Details... details...

 

[LAHomedog]

I might be late, but since I'm living this...

I'm working on a story of Americans visiting Paris. They use the Metro (the subway/tube system, although much of it is above-ground).

Is it important that some of the Metro line carriages use rubber tires (yeah, tyres for those of you who insist ) and others use steel wheels?

Mostly not. Noticing that MIGHT be the case if my characters are urban and, e.g., spend lots of time riding the NY subway, or similar. But not much more than notice. That was me, first time in Paris. But beyond the thought "that's funky," I hopped on and didn't worry about it.

Is it also important to go into a description of the difference in acceleration and deceleration for rubber- versus steel-on-steel? Rubber faster. Rubber quieter. Rubber gets blowouts, so you still need the steel rails as backup. How do the carriages deal with blowouts? No.

Now, if, say, a blowout leads to a meeting because two people bump against each other when it happens... and that leads to a conversation... and that leads to a night of hot, depraved sex... then blowouts and how the trains still move might be germane to mention. A bit.

This is where you and I are going to disagree. When I went to Paris for the first time the sound the subway trains made was seriously important to my experience. Not how the train moved faster or slower, but the sound. It changed the entire sensory processing of the experience and the ambience.

Then there was also the ride. Not so much clacky-clack and jerky, jerky. How do you put people in a world if they don't live in it and experience it? The subways look, smells, sounds, the touching sensation of crowds and strangers. The light. How elements go in and out of the shadows, or how the light flickers or glistens upon the tile walls. The reflections in the windows. The furtive glances of strangers. The temperature, hot, cold, muggy. Do your clothes feel clammy, or are you embarrassed because you feel under-dressed.

We are sensory animals and all of that feeds into our experiences, attractions, and libidos, and desires.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Anyway, I digress... back to the topic question. I'm in the middle of writing my fourth story, and I'm fearing it might end up being too long because I get carried away with describing things that the reader probably doesn't care about. Do I bother to describe what the bathroom looks like if it's only used in the story for three paragraphs? Do I bother mentioning that my son is wearing a Spiderman shirt when he isn't even mentioned again for the rest of the chapter?

With erotic literature, I'm sure it's safe to assume that most readers only care about one thing in particular, but to me it's important to know the setting as well. But how much is too much?

It really, really depends. Detail can serve several different purposes in a story.

The obvious one is that it can convey facts that are important to the plot. If you're going to set a sex scene in the bathroom, it might be helpful to establish the layout.

Detail can also conceal facts that are important to the plot. If you're writing a murder mystery, and one of the items in your bathroom cupboard is the murder weapon, giving a few paragraphs of detail about unimportant stuff in the bathroom helps you slip that info in without drawing attention.

Detail can help characterise people and places. Does your bathroom have black mold, 1970s avocado green decor, or a gold-plated toilet seat? Those details create a lot of impressions, both of your home and of the owner/renter.

Detail can also characterise the person who observes it. If you write something like "I could tell by the guard's footprints that he was Spetsnaz - it's a very distinctive boot" that tells me as much about the narrator as it does about the guard; similarly if you can recognise fashion brands at a glance.

Detail can foreshadow things. In one of my series, the first chapter mentions a girl's parents taking away her phone as punishment; it's not an important detail there, but years later when they start using phones as a tool of control again, it makes it feel more like a pattern of behaviour and less like something I just made up.

Detail can set moods. A sex scene in the middle of a thunderstorm feels different to one on a calm summer's evening, even if everybody is safely inside and well out of the weather.

Detail can help with pacing. Sometimes I want to establish a bit of breathing space between two key scenes, and a little bit of detail gives a way to pad that space.

My rule of thumb is to leave details out if they're not helping the story, but there are a lot of ways they can help other than the obvious.