Is there a word for this?

[THBGato]

Hey everyone

It's been years (like, 15?) since I was part of a queer scene - marriage, kids, work, different countries, COVID, etc - so I'm not sure what terms people are using these days. Anyway, is there a word for a straight man who prefers the company of lesbians? I've got a character who very much fits this description, and was wondering if there is a contemporary term.

On a similar note, is the term for a straight woman who prefers the company of gay men okay to use these days? Or is it now considered offensive? You know the one - it rhymes with lag-wag. It was clearly never meant as a compliment. Is it one of those terms you can use to describe yourself but should never use to describe somebody else?

Thanks.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Anyway, is there a word for a straight man who prefers the company of lesbians?

Ally?

EDIT: probably not specific enough, but it's also not untrue.

 

[THBGato]

Yeah.... if there isn't anything more specific, ally works. But it's not as strong, is it? It doesn't suggest a preference.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Yeah.... if there isn't anything more specific, ally works. But it's not as strong, is it? It doesn't suggest a preference.

I've seen @AlexBailey use the term Tomgirl in terms that are near this context.

 

[AwkwardMD]

There might be a context/subtext of effeminate-ness for the tomgirl, though. I'm not sure that's what you're looking for either.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Honorary lesbian/gay?

 

[THBGato]

Honorary lesbian

Could work. In the story, the man has a girlfriend, but their friends are pretty much all Lesbians. When one of the Lesbian couples has a crisis, he gets really upset by the idea that they might split, to the extent that his girlfriend teases him about how invested he is. I was wondering if there was a term she could gently mock him with. I might go for "Commander of the Allied Forces", but wanted to know if there was already a term in use. Like I said, it's been years since I was involved in an (English speaking) queer scene.

 

[onehitwanda]

Aide-de-Camp.

 

[TheLobster]

Maybe go for some baseball pun, a'la "batting for the other team"? Like pitcher, provided it doesn't some other meaning already.

 

[THBGato]

Maybe go for some baseball pun, a'la "batting for the other team"? Like pitcher, provided it doesn't some other meaning already.

Yeah, but "Batting for the other team" means homosexual, and he really isn't. I mean, he could be the "coach of the women's side" I suppose?

 

[lovecraft68]

The word you're looking for pertaining to a man who prefers the company of lesbians is "Hopeful"
Waiting for that chance they might get desperate enough or drunk enough to realize they need a man.

Hopeful is the nice term, I think predator in the waiting works as well.

Meanwhile the woman who prefers the company of gay men can be deemed smart
Providing another man hasn't caught on and is pretending to be gay so he can...

This is why the easy choice is always the bear.

 

[TheLobster]

Yeah, but "Batting for the other team" means homosexual, and he really isn't. I mean, he could be the "coach of the women's side" I suppose?

Well, "coach" kinda has the connotation @lovecraft68 has just alluded to I'd go for more general "baseball fan" or similar, but you'd have to work in the pun into the dialogue somehow. I trust you could do that easily if you wanted to.

 

[TheLobster]

Meanwhile the woman who prefers the company of gay men can be deemed smart

Yeah, I was hesitating to reply to the original post and say that

the term for a straight woman who prefers the company of gay men

is simply "woman."

 

[THBGato]

Hopeful is the nice term, I think predator in the waiting works as well.

Hey, I'm writing fiction here! Suspend your disbelief ;-) There can be men who are happy with their girlfriends and just enjoy hanging out with other women.

I'd go for more general "baseball fan" or similar

It's set in the UK, so I'd have to go for cricket:

"You're not so much batting for the other team as running their fan club, huh babe?"
"What? No! They're our friends, that's all!"
"Sure. Well neither of them swing it both ways, so don't get your hopes up."

Yeah, that could work.

 

[yowser]

Familiar?

 

[MillieDynamite]

In the old West, a Bull-bitch was a woman who dressed, acted, and hung out with men in nonsexual ways. All so-called Gal-Boy. Women who lived together as lovers were in a Boston Marriage. Men who weren't masculine were called boy-gals. Most of the time, if they liked being around a Gal-Boy, they just called her "one of the boys." As to what's politically correct now, the crowd of lesbians I call friends call a woman a fag hag who associates either mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men. While "fruit fly" refers to people, male or female, who like to hang out with gay men or lesbian women.

 

[OffNSFW]

Slag hag?

 

[Rob_Royale]

When one of the Lesbian couples has a crisis, he gets really upset by the idea that they might split, to the extent that his girlfriend teases him about how invested he is. I was wondering if there was a term she could gently mock him with.

It doesn't to be anything lesbian related. When I tear up watching a movie, my wife just calls me her big softie, care bear or hopeless romantic. Why not something like that?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Making fun of someone's propensities doesn't require specific language. As @Rob-royale said, she can just mock him. A fruit fly reference is acceptable, though.

 

[jaF0]

Not sure if it applies to your character, but I've heard the term 'closet lesbian'. A guy who doesn't really like guys or guy things and prefers the company of women in general. Shopping, cooking, slumber party type stuff, chick flicks and TV shows, would rather sit and talk than play sports and so on.

 

[onehitwanda]

Not sure if it applies to your character, but I've heard the term 'closet lesbian'. A guy who doesn't really like guys or guy things and prefers the company of women in general. Shopping, cooking, slumber party type stuff, chick flicks and TV shows, would rather sit and talk than play sports and so on.

a Myke.

 

[mildlyaroused]

Making fun of someone's propensities doesn't require specific language. As @Ron-royale said, she can just mock him. A fruit fly reference is acceptable though.

Lol. Welcome to the AH, Ron. Any thoughts on the OP's query?

 

[jaF0]

Maybe I mean 'male lesbian'?

 

[NoTalentHack]

A Sapphaux.

 

[THBGato]

male lesbian

That was an old Eddie Izzard joke (back when she was still called Eddie) - transvestite executive.