Is there a US equivalent of "Essex Girl"?

[oggbashan]

In the UK, "Essex Girls" are renowned for being stupid and willing to mate with anyone at the drop of anything.

Sample jokes:

Why did the blonde Essex Girl dye her roots black?
So she would look like the others.

How does an Essex Girl turn the light on?
She opens the car door.

Why do Essex Girls dye their hair blonde?
Because it makes them look more intelligent.

I think that is enough to give you the idea.

Any suggestions for US equivalents?

Og.

 

[Wantonica]

Hi Og!!

In the US, we have jokes similar to the ones you cited; they are simply called "blonde jokes". I suppose this came from the fact that so many women who are stupid and willing to mate at the drop of a hat bleach out their hair.

Since I was born a natural blonde, I was bombarded with those jokes throughout my life. Thankfully, I realized there was no bimbo mind under my hair and could laugh at them.

In any case, just take your jokes and center them around a blonde. You'll be safe with that.

Happy day,
Fascivious Wanton

 

[Pookie]

*giggles*

Huh?

*giggles*

 

[MathGirl]

Dum blons

In any case, just take your jokes and center them around a blonde. You'll be safe with that.

Yes, I would personally just be extremely pleased.
MG

Ps. Maybe we should wait until PrinceJ rules on this subject. Bound to be soon.

 

[oggbashan]

Re: Dum blons

Maybe we should wait until PrinceJ rules on this subject. Bound to be soon.

I thought an Essex Girl would be an ideal partner for a Prince.

Essex Girls usually have a dog called Prince if Wayne isn't available.

Og

 

[Wantonica]

Hi Mathgirl,

I haven't been here very long, but was not at all surprised to see you respond to this one. Actually, I expected it!

Hope you are having a great day,
Facivious Wanton

 

[Pookie]

Re: Re: Dum blons

I thought an Essex Girl would be an ideal partner for a Prince.

Essex Girls usually have a dog called Prince if Wayne isn't available.

Og

*giggles*

<edited - too much personal info!>

*giggle-snort*

 

[reohoko]

hmmm

Yeah, where is PJ.... this one should have been a perfect one for him to respond to.

I won't comment... too many times I have been asked if I was a blonde. AND NO I AM NOT!!! I am a redhead(well auborn but still that isn't blonde).

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Dum blons

Essex Girls usually have a dog called Prince if Wayne isn't available.

Dear Oggie,
What a coincidence. We have an oinker by that name around here.
MG

 

[karmadog]

Back in college those would have all been 'sorority girl' jokes.

Here's one that I remember:

What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

And if you really had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

Lame and disgusting I know, but have about fifteen beers and five shots of Jagermeister and it's pretty funny.

Ah, college.

 

[oggbashan]

Biblical

When I wrote that Essex Girls "have" a dog called Prince, I meant "have" in the biblical sense but that isn't allowed here.

It seems to be permitted in Essex.

Og

 

[Boxlicker101]

Bimbo is a word that is sometimes used. "Blonde" is sometimes used as a synonym for stupid woman, such as: The blonde brought a ladder to the bar because she heard the drinks were on the house.

 

[oggbashan]

Welcome to Boxlicker

Welcome to the Authors Hangout.

Making your first post about blonde bimbos might make you a target for some of the intelligentsia.

Don't worry too much. They only poison in jest, no offence in the world.

Og

 

[Pookie]

Bimbo is a word that is sometimes used. "Blonde" is sometimes used as a synonym for stupid woman, such as: The blonde brought a ladder to the bar because she heard the drinks were on the house.

Are you inferring that I didn't need to take the ladder all those times?

Welcome.


Pookie

 

[Pookie]

Re: Welcome to Boxlicker

... a target for some of the intelligentsia.

What did you call me???




Pookie

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

my friend julie's a bleached blonde single mum, she's got 6 kids and a terrible stutter, well by the time she says no. it's too late.

luv lorri xxxthe brunette

 

[Pookie]

Re: hiya

my friend julie's a bleached blonde single mum, she's got 6 kids and a terrible stutter, well by the time she says no. it's too late.

luv lorri xxxthe brunette

If she is trying to say "no", then she's not using the permanent haircolor ... or the she needs to use a lighter shade.

 

[flawed_ethics]

Back in college those would have all been 'sorority girl' jokes.

Here's one that I remember:

What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

And if you really had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

Lame and disgusting I know, but have about fifteen beers and five shots of Jagermeister and it's pretty funny.

Ah, college.

Are you kidding me? That's hilarious! Never heard it before - which probably helps.

I was going to respond with the same answer had you not otherwise. To me, a 'sorority girl' is known for being easier to bag, whereas a 'blonde' is just dumb/dim. Making for a blonde sorority girl to be the worst of both worlds.

 

[oggbashan]

Essex Girl Joke Book

I have the valuable and rare 1991 First Edition of "The Essex Girl Joke Book" by Ray Leigh and Brent Wood (town names in Essex).

It is described as "A seminal work"

Carefully perusing the much loved pages I think that an Essex Girl must equate to a "Sorority Girl". Essex Girls pretend to be blondes because they think blondes are more intelligent.

A few samples:

Q. Why does an Essex Girl wear knickers?
A. To keep her ankles warm.

Q. How do you know when an Essex Girl has an orgasm?
A. She drops her kebab.

Q. What does an Essex Girl say after sex?
A. Do you all play for the same team?

Q. What makes an Essex Girl's eyes light up?
A. A torch shone in her ear?

More, much more, if needed.

Og

 

[flawed_ethics]

Another term kind of applies is "Valley Girl." A girl that is from a posh neighborhood but slower than molassas. Spends daddy's money. Sort of a sorority girl, except not necessarily in a sorority (note: it doesn't preclude them from being in one).

Often found saying, "Oh my gawd," "For sure," "Like."

The only problem is that it's not exactly the same a sorority girl. Sorority girl is more apt to your question. It's also a dated term, as it arose around the early eighties, if I'm not mistaken.

 

[Un-registered]

Of course there are sophisticated Essex girl jokes. Please do not confuse them with US blonde jokes, they are geographically specific. Perhaps the nearest the US had is Polak jokes, though the UK analogy for them is really Irish jokes.

What's the difference between an Essex girl and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

Why do Essex girls never wear watches?
No need. When an Essex girl wants to know the time she just slams the car door a few times. Someone is sure to open a window and yell, "What do you think you're doing, making that much noise at 2:15am?"

 

[oggbashan]

More from the definitive canon

Why do Essex Girls dance round their handbags?
Have you ever met any Essex boys?

What's an Essex Girl's favourite book?
Don't be stupid.

Why does an Essex Girl have C and A stitched into her knickers?
So she knows which way to put them back on.

What does an Essex Girl do with her arsehole (US asshole) after sex?
Asks him to drive her back home.

What does an Essex Girl have written on her knickers?
Next.

What is the difference between an Essex Girl and a glove puppet?
You can only get one hand in a glove puppet.

What is the similarity between an Essex Girl and a vampire?
They both bite your neck at night.

What is the difference between an Essex Girl and a vampire?
Garlic is enough to put a vampire off.

Og.

 

[Pookie]

Oh my gawd! Like ... I'm a blonde valley girl

but I'm not from Essex! *whew*


Pookie

 

[MathGirl]

From a blonde sorority girl in the valley

Another term kind of applies is "Valley Girl." A girl that is from a posh neighborhood but slower than molassas. Spends daddy's money. Sort of a sorority girl, except not necessarily in a sorority (note: it doesn't preclude them from being in one).

Dear FE,
Ohmigod, totally awesome, dude. Like you're totally tubular, f'sure.
Muffie

Ps. At least I know how to spell "mollacsses"

 

[DurtGurl]

Hay Mathie

Hay Math Girl,
Are you some kinda primma dona around here? Your always sticking your big nose and butt into everthing and I get sort of tired of seeing that big assed baby too and Im sure a lot of people on here would agree with me and maybe even some who are'nt. Im trying to be nice here but theres so damm little to be nice about when im constantly foarced to look at the picture of the baby with that huge ass. If you want to do a little hair pullin and scratchin I'll meet you in the parking lot after i close up the bar. Leave that big assed baby to home, you hear?
DG