Is there a polite way to ask an author, "Who the hell are you?"

[shereads]

Has this ever happened to you?

You're chatting or being chatted at by an older gentleman at the dog park. (Your story doesn't have to be at the dog park, that's not the point.)

It's mid-morning, but he seems to have been "overserved," as they say in the bartending trade. His friends left just as you were arriving, and he's eager to continue their conversation, so he directs it at you.

Names are dropped. There are stories about state dinners, and "the corgis," one of which peed on his foot. ("It was appalling, but of course one can't say anything." You nod, agreeing that one cannot.)

It becomes evident that he's a writer, and that he wants you to inquire about his writing.

"You're a writer?"

"Yes."

At this point, do you ask him what he's written?

I didn't, because of you people and your story scores! That's right, I was afraid that if he told me what he'd written and I hadn't loved it, the expression on my face would give me away and he'd be devastated. Seriously, until I started hanging around Authors' Hangout, I had no idea the opinions of random strangers were so important.

So what should I have done? How do you ask someone about his writing without being obligated to say, "I know that novel! I gave it a 5."

 

[Guest]

Has this ever happened to you?
No

It becomes evident that he's a writer, and that he wants you to inquire about his writing.

"You're a writer?"

"Yes."

At this point, do you ask him what he's written?
Maybe, but I probably wouldn't know what he's written

I didn't, because of you people and your story scores! That's right, I was afraid that if he told me what he'd written and I hadn't loved it, the expression on my face would give me away and he'd be devastated. Seriously, until I started hanging around Authors' Hangout, I had no idea the opinions of random strangers were so important.
All my stories have E and H marks, always.

You probably should have shown the gentlman your genital to make his day.

[/B]

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Is there a polite way to ask an author, "Who the hell are you?"

Make his day do what?

 

[Guest]

Nothing, ma'am. Tongue was slipping.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I'm still contemplating this one

 

[shereads]

Nothing, ma'am. Tongue was slipping.

Monkey, are you tongue-typing again?

 

[Guest]

No, ma'am.

It's been chestity-belted, ma'am.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I find the best thing to do in such asituation is to ask a lot of question, as if you were an alien who had never heard of "authors", and let him tell you about himself and his works. Most people are thrilled to get a chance to talk about themselves. And the disappointment goes away immediately if you pretend that you never read anything more advanced than the back of food cartons.

 

[Guest]

 

[Ms_Kat]

It's natural for people to want you to be interested in them. Especially if they are an older gentleman who's been drinking and you're a younger woman.

This is how I think I might have handled it:

So you're a writer?

Yes.

I don't think I've ever met a writer before. What sort of things do you write?

The idea is to keep him answering questions so you don't have to.

What made you decide to write? How do you find ideas for writing?

Yes, the arrows of strangers find their marks just like those of loved ones (how's that for poetic) but don't be offended to say, "I'm not widely read in that genre."


Hugs,


Kat

 

[gauchecritic]

If he's a seasoned writer who goes to signings and whatevercon '04, one question to drive him away immediately will be: "Where do you get your ideas from?"

Gauche

 

[shereads]

I find the best thing to do in such asituation is to ask a lot of question, as if you were an alien who had never heard of "authors", and let him tell you about himself and his works. Most people are thrilled to get a chance to talk about themselves. And the disappointment goes away immediately if you pretend that you never read anything more advanced than the back of food cartons.

This is a good idea, Svenska. If you don't mind a bit of editing, can I shorten it a little?

He: "that's when the Queen asked me whether there are any corgis in my newest book."

Me: "You're a writer?"

He: "Yes."

Me: "How I wish I had learned to read."

--------

Or how about:

"You're a writer?"

"Yes."

"And what do you do for a living?"

 

[shereads]

"I'd like to be walking down the beach and see a young woman, and at this point in my life I guess I mean someone in their 30's, sitting and reading my book. I'd stop, ask her if she liked it. She'd smile and say 'It's OK.'. I'd walk on happily."

So Shereads, the risks you would have taken might have made his day, maybe his entire writing career, not for liking what he wrote, but knowing something of his work. [/B]

I suck...

But this brings me back to my point about the story scores. If I didn't like his work and wasn't good at pretending, would it matter if I had read some? Wouldn't that make it worse? His example lets the woman off the hook; she doesn't know she's talking to the writer, and if she did she'd be a horrid bitch to say, "It's okay."

Later she'd hear that he jumped off the Staten Island Ferry like Spalding Grey.

 

[shereads]

If he's a seasoned writer who goes to signings and whatevercon '04, one question to drive him away immediately will be: "Where do you get your ideas from?"

Gauche

Good God no! Not this writer, Gauche. This fellow was dying to be asked where he got his ideas. I knew him for less than ten minutes and I know where he lived as a child, what disease his mother died from, in Australia, which is far more urbanized than the U.S. but the population is clustered along the coast, and in the middle of the country there's nothing. I know that he was arrested for vagrancy in Honolulu once because he went out for coffee with no shirt one early morning because he works at night, you see, and in Hawaii at that time all of the hotels stopped serving room service at nine o'clock pm and no matter that he was a frequent guest, they wouldn't get him coffee when he called downstairs. So he left the hotel in swim trunks and they arrested him for vagrancy because he had no I.D. except for his Royal Hawaiian hotel room key. And the police in Hawaii are brutes, and they didn't believe he was a guest of a fine hotel. Also, the only writer worth reading is Somerset Maugham, who stayed at some very fine hotels throughout the South Pacific, including the Peninsula in Hong Kong which unfortunately has suffered significant lapses in service since its glory days.

He can't stand the Cayman Islands. Nothing but a lot of tax cheats.

 

[shereads]

It's natural for people to want you to be interested in them. Especially if they are an older gentleman who's been drinking and you're a younger woman.

This is how I think I might have handled it:

So you're a writer?

Yes.

I don't think I've ever met a writer before. What sort of things do you write?

The idea is to keep him answering questions so you don't have to.

What made you decide to write? How do you find ideas for writing?

Yes, the arrows of strangers find their marks just like those of loved ones (how's that for poetic) but don't be offended to say, "I'm not widely read in that genre."


Hugs,


Kat

Hugs back, and thank you. I'll try that next time, provided the dog isn't thirsty.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

This has absolutely nothing to do with this thread.

Shereads: LOVE the AV. It's absolute top notch sensuality.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Tell him you've been looking for someone to help you turn your life story into a book. You'll supply the stories, he'll just write them down and, you know, fill them out and all that stuff. Oh! The stories you could tell! Why, there was this one time just the other day when you were out with your friend Delored--He knows Delores, doesn't he? No? Oh, well you've just got to tell him about Delores. She's such a stitch! See, she drives this little car she calls Mr. Beep-beep, and it's just the funniest thing. Why, just ask Earl or any of the guys down to the Amoco station...

---dr.M.

 

[Dirty Slut]

No, there isn't.

DS

 

[shereads]

Tell him you've been looking for someone to help you turn your life story into a book. You'll supply the stories, he'll just write them down and, you know, fill them out and all that stuff.

I know the guy you're talking about. I used to work with him. He has an idea for a science fiction series that beats the s**t out of anything except Dune. He even has the characters all worked out, with names and everything.

 

[snooper]

... chestity-belted ...

Is that a euphemism for being fitted with a brassiere?

 

[Guest]