Is something wrong with me???

[Stormystarr]

I am depressed. My b/f says I want sex way to much! Is there such a thing as to much? I didn't think so until he made me feel like a piece of dirt by degrading me.
He never wants to do anything, he's 38 and I'm 26. I'm lucky if I get sex more than once every month now, and even thats pushing it. So what should I do?

Just so you all know, I try everything, romantic dinners with candles, sexy nighties, and I've even tried to be the sexual persuing slut that some men want so badly, but nothing is happening!
I don't think I'm ugly or fat, but I may be wrong, so what else could it be?

 

[SweetCherry]

It sounds like he's just a jerk who's so insecure that he's got to put down the one person in the world he should be making the effort to treat with love and respect. My advice? Dump him and find someone who knows how to treat you right.

 

[Cheyenne]

He's the problem, not you.
If you're not married to him, are you willing to leave him?

 

[Guest]

Stormy...

It sounds like you just described my life with my ex fiance. Towards the end of our relationship, I was lucky if I was getting sex once a month. Now, I know there is more to life than just sex, but I will admit it...I have a hearty sexual appetite. I am a very sexual person. Some people are, some people aren't. Your boyfriend sounds like my ex.

Like Cheyenne said, "Are you willing to leave him?" That's what you need to ask yourself right now. I thought long and hard about that this past summer. I asked myself if that was what I wanted in marriage, etc. (Not just his lack of sex drive, but the constant fights it brought upon us, etc.)

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.


~Tiggs~

 

[willfulbrat]

There's nothing at all wrong with you, Stormy, it's just hard to find a good match. But there are lots of men who'd appreciate a woman like you, so don't settle for someone who doesn't.

 

[Rando]

Ready for some bad news:
1. Either getting it somewhere else.
2. Too old to appreciate it-- Needs the V pill.
3. Beats the H_ll out of me.
Went through this with a ex. I was more that willing
but she was taking care of business elsewhere. (I CAUGHT
HER)................

 

[CW]

Just to play the devil's advocate a bit,,, if everything else is still 'normal', like attitude, temper, physical abilities,,, then perhaps he is entering the male version of mid-life crisis.

I know that when I turned 40 my sexual needs went way down,,, and once a month was quite enough for about a year. I even went to my doc to have her give me a physicial,,, found nothing wrong, and her opinion was onset of mid-life crisis which CAN include a markedly lower sex drive. Now that that event is passed (took about a year ), my sex drive is back up,,, not as high as when I was younger,,, but three or four times a week is now average.

Just something to think about,,, of course, he may be just be a jerk.

 

[His Whimsicality]

Now once in a month is obviously way too little, imo.

1) Try to talk with him about your problem. If that doesn´t resolve matters
2) continue to be nice for a little while longer. If that doesn´t seem to work either,
3) be nasty: show/pretend that you´ve lost all interest in him, perhaps this will heat him up a little and get him to win you back. If this doesn´t work either,
4) seriously consider dumping him.

 

[Derya]

went through something similar

Your comments could have been me four years ago. I was going nuts trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

I had a similar situation with a boyfriend. As it turned out although we did not resolve the issue and we broke up with it among other things being a problem, I came to seriously feel he had been sexually abused. All of his sisters had been and a brother too most likely, and there were no moves on his part toward recovery or wanting a partner to work through this kind of horror with. That could be an issue for some males who are opposed or unwilling to communicate on sexual connecting. No one has mentioned that as a possibility and it is valid. Actually there is much more frequency of male sexual abuse than people imagine because the subject is so difficult to come forward about, particularly for males.

What's his family structure or upbringing like people often have preconceptions about their roles sexually or their sex life?

DEFINITELY there's nothing wrong with you. Worse really than the difference in sexual approach and desire is the inability to communicate on a life issue in which you are coming from two different courts. Sex is just one of the incredibly intimate connections that committed couples need to address ongoing. How is the communication between you on other intimate topics and issues where you differ?

You need to be able to communicate and compromise to find resolutions and display your caring and commitment for each other. If you can't that's when you know it's not the right relationship for either of you.

I had a bunch of relatives telling me "oh you expect too much men don't communicate, they don't share feelings yada yada yada; my therapist said sure there are men who don't, do you want one who doesn't

MY RESOUNDING RESPONSE NO

http://megsplace.com/dolls/hatnature.gif