Is perfect the new adequate?

[shereads]

Or is it just the latest superlative to be rendered meaningless?

Recent examples:

Me: "I'm running late. Can I still see the dentist if I get there by three o'clock?"
Woman on phone: "That sounds perfect."


Bag-boy at supermarket: "Paper or plastic?"
Me: "Paper, please."
Bag-boy: "Perfect."


Clerk at Barnes & Noble: "Will this be all for you?"
Me: "Yes."
Clerk: "Perfect!"



WTF? This isn't harmless verbal treacle, like having strangers advise you to have a nice day. It's linguistic evidence that there's some Cro Magnon dna in the mix, and it's starting to assert itself. Already, we copywriters are being forced to abandon the word "luxury" and seek new ways to distinguish a penthouse suite at The Ritz-Carlton from a King Non-Smoking at Motel 6.

One desperate client actually suggested that we describe his hotel's best accommodation as "stunning."

"Stunning?!"

"Sure. It's better than luxurious; it's stunning."

"As in, 'So superior, you will be struck dumb with bewilderment and perhaps need medical attention?'"

Perfect. Just perfect.

 

[rgraham666]

'If it's not perfect it's not anything' is one of the central tenets of North American society.

 

[bluebell]

"Perfect"

Those ninnies!
Don't they know the word "perfect" was designed to be used only in accordance with the perfection acheived as the Carpenters made records?!

Perhaps the "perfect" people are replacing the "Yes" men.

I've noticed people saying "thank you" in odd ways.
That is, if they manage to grunt out a thank you at all.
Those who do muster thanks seem to relay it with an extra measure of oomf!, as if to up the ante on their thanks, defying someone to be more thankful.
I am sometimes guilty of this. I want to overcompensate for the jerkiness of others. So I say "Thanks so much," and then give the person a warm and meaningful smile that's supposed to shed light on their overworked hearts.



I had breakfast with a girl named Sue who said "Thanks a bunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" every time the waitress came to our table. Not just once, but every single time.
In a package. With all those exclamation points attached.

'If it's not perfect it's not anything' is one of the central tenets of North American society.

Uh oh. I am in so much trouble.

 

[shereads]

T
I had breakfast with a girl named Sue who said "Thanks a bunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" every time the waitress came to our table. Not just once, but every single time.

And no one took Sue to the hospital?

 

[bluebell]

And no one took Sue to the hospital?

Oh I wanted to. But the other people with us weren't convinced that she was in dire need of a mental re-programming.
In fact, they didn't notice her scary habit at all.
Which made me think I needed mental re-programming.
Either that or I was in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, one step away from encountering Donald Sutherland and a sudden menagerie of giant, green, pillowy pods.

 

[shereads]

'If it's not perfect it's not anything' is one of the central tenets of North American society.

Well, of course. Nobody likes a loser.

It's not just an American thing, Rob. Ask any Olympic Silver Medalist whose time in the 500 meter speed-skate was 0.0000012 seconds slower than that of the superior athlete who exposed him as a slacker.

 

[only_more_so]

'If it's not perfect it's not anything' is one of the central tenets of North American society.

I don't know which North America you're living in, but that isn't mine. We give trophies to little kids because they participated!

 

[Liar]

Bag-boy at supermarket: "Paper or plastic?"
Me: "Paper, please."
Bag-boy: "Perfect."

Because, y'know, plastic bags are so 2003. So 'square that it's hip', that it's square again. Jeez.

 

[Guest]

Because, y'know, plastic bags are so 2003. So 'square that it's hip', that it's square again. Jeez.

I really like Sesame Street's version.

Hip to be a Square

http://members.tripod.com/Tiny_Dancer/hip.html

 

[The_Fool]

Perfect is the new paradigm...

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I so seldom pay a bit of attention to anything that anyone says to me in public anyway that it really doesn't make a damn to me how they use what words. But, if people in the service industry started saying, "Fuck you, M'am" or "Go eat shit and die" when bagging my groceries or giving me my ice cream cone, I'd at least respect them for being original.

 

[shereads]

Perfect is the new paradigm...

I once shot a man for using the word paradigm.

 

[shereads]

if people in the service industry started saying, "Fuck you, M'am" or "Go eat shit and die" when bagging my groceries or giving me my ice cream cone, I'd at least respect them for being original.

Thank you! I'll send you my price sheet.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I once shot a man for using the word paradigm.

Perfect...

 

[DeeZire]

I like 'perfect' when it's used sarcastically.

"Oh great! That's just perfect!"

Reminds me of my first ex-wife.

 

[Handprints]

Oh God, another one...

Thanks to this thread, I will now be welcoming "perfect" as it joins "most unique" and "literally" in pantheon on usages most likely to upset me.

We need a bright lawyer to come up with a "misuse of English rage" defense, which would allow sensitive aesthetes such as myself to engage in well-meant and socially productive killing sprees.

I'm now in a perfect bate.

 

[shereads]

Thanks to this thread, I will now be welcoming "perfect" as it joins "most unique" and "literally" in pantheon on usages most likely to upset me.

We need a bright lawyer to come up with a "misuse of English rage" defense, which would allow sensitive aesthetes such as myself to engage in well-meant and socially productive killing sprees.

I'm now in a perfect bate.

Have a nice day.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I use "groovy" a lot. That and "its a dapper dandy in Cupcake City, baby".