Is part of a fetish the feeling of shock at your own behavior?

[CurtGiles46]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

 

[BBCfan]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

I would agree with that a lot.
Often for mainly guys fetishes are imprinted at a young age with a certain, often initial intense "different" sexual experience. The rush of doing something that is arousing yet confusing and perhaps wrong or "dangerous" according to your belief systems.

I know when I finally gave in to the fetish again years later, I was so shocked I actually did it that it was a brain rush similar to intense drugs. The craving to mimic the younger experience just wouldn't go away. The act was so outside my comfort zone yet so pleasurable because of that.

To better understand myself, from the research I've found, imprinted fetishes don't away for guys. It's a matter of how to work with it in a hopefully healthy way for each person.

 

[Escierto]

Every so often, some part of me will wake up and freak out and say, "OMG, I cannot believe that you let her stick her cock in your ass and fuck you until she cums!".

Then the rest of me will look at the freaked out part and say, "Well, you know that's how they make love, right?". So then things go back to normal until the next time.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I think that you have actually hit on something here. However, it's places like Literotica that have made we fetishists feel less shocked since we connect with so many with similar proclivities.

 

[GD88]

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

As a panty fetishist, I can say that I don't feel shock at my own behavior. The turn-on from "My God, this is what they wear behind closed doors" outweighs whatever shock I may feel.

 

[sarahlacycd1]

I am not so sure it is "shock" that somehow lurks in our fetishes. Certainly for me with my fetishes of crossdressing, masturbating, high heels etc it is probably the taboo nature that makes it both exciting yet what you might conceive as "shocking" or even perverse. Maybe other people might be shocked if they knew of our clandestine activities but do we truly feel shock ourselves? Maybe it also depends on the extreme nature of our fetish, I am sure there are many that most of us in polite society would find shocking or even disgusting. For my own mainstream fetishes, over time when I come to accept those fetishes the feelings mainly turn to "I like it so what the hell." The previous poster has even given it a name. Thats my viewpoint anyway but certain others will disagree.

 

[WonderPonder]

I've been thinking about this lately and wondering if something is wrong with me.
My fetish has been fantasizing about cuckolding for years and now it's reality.
We're coming up on 13 weeks with my wife seeing another man. I have no regrets and feel now that it's happening, that I was made to be a cuckold.

I look within myself and wonder what kind of man gets off knowing he can't satisfy his wife with intercourse. Knowing and wanting my wife's pussy and body to be completely his which it now is. Being denied sex indefinitely and only receiving handjobs and going down on her. Knowing he's significantly bigger and better than me. Knowing they're closer than just fuck buddies.
I think, shit. This isn't normal but what is normal. But in the end it feels right and everyone is happy. We're open and honest to each other always talking and yes our 30+ year marriage is secure.

 

[Excitabletom]

I have been bi since my late teen years. I have gone long stretches of denial and been celibate, but occasionally the urge drives me to enjoy the company of another man. The realization of when I'm about to put a cock in my mouth is often that shock point! The "what are you doing" thoughts. Then once the the act begins, it's fun time!

Thinking a little deeper, it's really only the first time with a guy that I feel that shock moment. Back when I had a FWB, there was no shock, just sexual arousal! This also explains why I want one FWB again. Going for a first time as a closeted bi man is shockingly scary! And yes, I consider my desire to suck cock a fetish.

Hope I'm explaining myself well enough; I feel like I'm rambling.

 

[Escierto]

I have been bi since my late teen years. I have gone long stretches of denial and been celibate, but occasionally the urge drives me to enjoy the company of another man. The realization of when I'm about to put a cock in my mouth is often that shock point! The "what are you doing" thoughts. Then once the the act begins, it's fun time!

Thinking a little deeper, it's really only the first time with a guy that I feel that shock moment. Back when I had a FWB, there was no shock, just sexual arousal! This also explains why I want one FWB again. Going for a first time as a closeted bi man is shockingly scary! And yes, I consider my desire to suck cock a fetish.

Hope I'm explaining myself well enough; I feel like I'm rambling.

I can relate. When I am sucking her cock and trying to get her to cum, I sometimes think, "God, I can't believe that you are doing this!". Then when she has finished giving me her load down my throat and I have swallowed, I feel so proud lol.

 

[LisaMayTurner]

Yes, of course.

 

[magic_rat]

I don't feel shock at my own behaviour. I feel humiliated and degraded by some aspects of it but that's on purpose!

 

[AlexBailey]

It’s not shock of my behavior, it’s more a shock of “Wow! This is sexy and it me! It feels as good as it looks! It can get into a feedback loop of eroticism - I get to be my own porn.

 

[Elle4u2use2]

Yes
Turns me on seeing how desperate and naughty I get

 

[Hypnobitch01]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

Oh heck yeah, whenever I write fetish stuff part of the fun is “did I just write that?”

Author of: The Trophy Wife, Birds of a Feather, Conri and Red, My Other Mistress, And more….

 

[Kenrychard]

I agree. Imagine, if everything, everything, were considered normal and acceptable, wouldn't the whole damn sex world become mundane? The first time my wife and I invited a friend he was an older, widowed African American. At one point in the middle of moaning in her naughty porn voice, she suddenly gets serious and asks, " Is it racist that I think this is so much hotter because you are Black?" " I replied, while our friend was trying not to laugh as he was going down on her, in my best southern white trash accent, "Wellya Honey, sure its racist that we both think its smokins hot cause Jr here is black, but I bets it da kind of racist he wish all white trash felt cause he gettin to fuck you." For my wife and I, older generation, putting your mouth on someone's privates was unsanitary dirty and morally dirty, which made it just so much more erotic when pleasuring your special someone that way. Same with anal sex. As for "shock" at our behavior, for me that was when I did something not because it was a long held fetish first acted on, it was when I did something I had not really considered before and the situation went that way. The first time I went down on my wife full of another man's cum. The first time I ate out her gaping ass after anal sex. I did not plan either of those events, but when they happened, fucking erotic as hell.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Shock, surprised, a little erotic humiliation. I’m pretty quiet during sex, my wife is just the opposite. She likes to get me to be vocal during sex. She also likes to take video clips during. In the moment you might not pay so much attention to what you said. Thursday night when she chrome casts it to the bedroom tv. Nothing like watching yourself and hearing yourself on surround sound.

 

[FantasySharer1]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

I definitely think there's a part of I can't believe I'm doing this. But for me it was a very strong literal, sexual, passionate attraction to my sister and my mother.

Deep in the most foundational parts of my heart and soul - I actually love my sister. I love her body. Her mind. Her heart. Her smile. Her kindness. Her laugh. Her honesty. Her every little thing. Her scent. Her white lies and her dimples and her sleepy voice and her hair. The look she gets when she reads a book and likes it. Growing up there was nothing more beautiful to me than her.

Now as middle-age adults, even though she is married and has kids and we see each other pretty often, I'm in love. I suppress it every day and have my own family and found a woman I love that fills the void in my heart of not being able to actually be with my sister. I have my own kids who are my entire heart, but I also love her children and dote on them like they were my own.

So - sneaking into my sister's used panties when I was younger was quite literally just an expression of: "I want ANYTHING from this perfect woman's body to be on mine. Even a few sacred drops from her pussy that are on her panties, I want to rub into my cock and imagine that I can love her the way I want to. I want to imagine I'm inside her, making love to her, rather than just having my cock wrapped in the gusset of her went panties."

Sneaking into my mom's panties was less deep than above and more: "My mom is hot, loving, and sexy, and I would love her know her scent and taste and have her pussy juice on my cock."

There was definitely a taboo feeling when doing it with my mom of "It's so hot this is my mom's pussy juice on my penis from her panties she just took off this morning."

With my sister's it was a lot more: "This is the honey that drips from the absolute love of my life and I'm going to pretend we are together while I masturbate with her juices on my cock from her panties."

 

[waynefar]

It's a little bit the other way round for me. My kinks are so much a part of me that it's not shocking at all. What I do find shocking is this: I know just how far out on the bell curve I am, and constantly surprised how far some ladies will go to accommodate my kinks.

 

[LisaMayTurner]

Yes, of course. I like to shock myself, my partner, or anyone watching. I suppose it depends on the definition of "shock" that makes responses to this original question meaningful. "Oh my!" shock is different to a "horror shock" or a "disgust shock" so I think I enjoy "Oh my!" shock, not anything horrible.

 

[Robbo694u]

Yes, of course. I like to shock myself, my partner, or anyone watching. I suppose it depends on the definition of "shock" that makes responses to this original question meaningful. "Oh my!" shock is different to a "horror shock" or a "disgust shock" so I think I enjoy "Oh my!" shock, not anything horrible.

Totally agree, for me the shock could be almost anatomical, Pleasurable shock is like an enlightenment or discovery that feels almost cerebral and lightheaded although I appreciate it could cause sensations lower down, whereas the aaaargh shock I feel in My gut.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

 

[LisaMayTurner]

Totally agree, for me the shock could be almost anatomical, Pleasurable shock is like an enlightenment or discovery that feels almost cerebral and lightheaded although I appreciate it could cause sensations lower down, whereas the aaaargh shock I feel in My gut.

Could be too many chips, or not enough hydration?

 

[Inducker]

Could be too many chips, or not enough hydration?

Chips from a ‘proper chippy’ and a mug of ‘builders’ tea, can take your mind of things.

For a while…

 

[Robbo694u]

Could be too many chips, or not enough hydration?

So that's where I've been going wrong all this time.... swap the chips for water

 

[Kenrychard]

Absolutely. In terms of "misbehavior", the violation of a friend's home I was trusted to watch when they were gone, finding the parents porn, sniffing the sisters dirty panties, masturbating in and then putting back in drawer clean panties..this happened in more than one home and multiple times and the "crime" made it so much more exciting. And although I DID have permission, my alcoholic GF would tell me I could use her if she made any promises unfulfilled because she passed out, fucking her while she was unconscious still felt like rape and it was definitely hot, I came WAY too soon LOL.

The flip side was the Kink I didn't know I had until my wife ordered me to do something... like the first time she told me to clean her pussy(with my mouth) after I had cum in her... Then the same thing only after the FIRST time either of us had had anal sex... and then when we played with others and she told me to clean her up after she was filled with another man's semen. Each of those seemed WRONG at first, and were completely erotic when actually done. The shock effect was powerfully erotic.