Is New Orleans Underwater Yet?

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I'm going there in May. How are the dykes holding up? Any 100 year floods on the Mississippi predicted? The Quarter getting soggy? When I leave the plane can I take my seat with me as a flotation device? And what's with all the damn gators? Didn't you people see "Jurassic Park"?

 

[Rambling Rose]

The dykes are as abundant as ever in the city that care forgot, but the transvestites are even more prolific! Here's a pic of Pirate's Alley in Jackson Square that I took in February.

http://www.lexiaintl.org/images/Venice-canal.gif

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Boats? They use boats? How long has that been going on?

 

[Rambling Rose]

Only the tourists. The quarter dwellers just float belly up.

 

[scylis]

maybe see if you can use one of them cute stewaresses as your floatation device, Dix!

oh, and if you see some carpenter bum building this big-ass wooden ship, you just might want to catch the next plane out.

one more thing. be on the guard when there's a funeral procession slowly meandering by. if you see anything weird happen, like, say, someone is killed then stuffed in the coffin they're carrying, contact the nearest British Embassy right away!

 

[Ginny]

The dykes are as abundant as ever in the city that care forgot, but the transvestites are even more prolific! Here's a pic of Pirate's Alley in Jackson Square that I took in February.
http://www.lexiaintl.org/images/Venice-canal.gif

oh my god....sewage canals in the quarter....gondolas gliding by....i can see it now....the drunks just peeing out into the water, perhaps vomiting.....omg the drownings....inebriated folks falling in....lucky dog vending boats at every corner....no more horses, NOPD on seadoos....

the pic made me laugh, rose.....thanks...


(new orleans isn't scheduled to go under the murky gulf waters for another 100 years....then...ta ta big easy...)

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I heard it could be a lot sooner than that. Like, what happens if everyone in New Orleans jumps at the same time? What then?

 

[April]

Then you would see everyone jumping at the same time, get weirded out, and leave. Quickly. No biggie. Just don't go north.

 

[Ginny]

I heard it could be a lot sooner than that. Like, what happens if everyone in New Orleans jumps at the same time? What then?

a 5 on the richter scale?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

That's all? Hell, we get two or three of those a day here. New Orleans here I come!

 

[Ginny]

That's all? Hell, we get two or three of those a day here. New Orleans here I come!

laissez les bons temps rouler!

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[tortoise]

That's all? Hell, we get two or three of those a day here. New Orleans here I come!

A 5.0 won't even get that Caltech chick on TV.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Blushing Rose, your gondola picture cracked me up... and I think Dixon bought it for a minute.

If it wasn't for the US Corps of Engineers, New Orleans probably wouldn't exist anymore. The number of river control structures and seawalls is amazing. Still, it's not the sinking that's going to destroy this city. It's the coastal erosion and the hurricanes. New Orleans hasn't had a direct hit from a big storm in 35 years, but when it happens again (and it will, sooner or later), it will be worse than ever. Without the barrier islands and a deep coastline, there's less and less to buffer us from hurricans. If a storm surge pushes the Lake as little as 1 inch over the seawall, the whole city will be under 15 feet of water.

We're losing 25-35 square miles of coastline annually and by 2050 the coast will be approximately 33 miles inland from where it is today. The town my father grew up in will be underwater. The feds don't seem to be terribly concerned about this. The Lousiana coastline isn't as sexy as the Everglades or the Chesapeake so we're not getting much help. At least maybe I'll have beachfront property soon...

at least for a little while.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

What are the Feds supposed to do? Syphon everything into Alabama?

Seriously. Is there a solution beyond staving off the inevitable? What brilliant contingency plans sit unconsidered in some environmental genius' desk?

 

[Rambling Rose]

Why do you always pick on Alabama? Mississippi's closer but Texas has more room.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Alabama is funnier. Sure Mississippi has that "ippi" sound, but "bama" just kills me.

 

[kotori]

Alabama has better songs

"Stars Shine on Alabama"
"Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again"
"Tuxedo Junction"

 

[Ginny]

Alabama is funnier. Sure Mississippi has that "ippi" sound, but "bama" just kills me.

ana-ippi-bama-da

hmmm...kinda fun there...

worked into a new slogan or jingle for the Gulf Coast tourism industry perhaps....

Ana Ippi Bama Da ... blah blah...

nah....nix that....'tarded flash there....

it sounds more like a new sorority at LSU...the ana ippi's and bama da's....

<combining aardvarkian ramble with my infamous "annoying posting style">

i think i'll go surf porn....

 

[Rambling Rose]

Alabama is funnier. Sure Mississippi has that "ippi" sound, but "bama" just kills me.

Lord Dixon, I should send you a slide show of all of the embarrassing, laughable, cringe-inducing things there are to see here in the sunny Southland. I could kill ya' quicklike, iffen I wanted.

On the other hand, we make a mean biscuit and we've got kudzu to cover up all the litter on the highway so....

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Is there a solution beyond staving off the inevitable? What brilliant contingency plans sit unconsidered in some environmental genius' desk?

There are actually a lot of novel strategies for both slowing coastal erosion and actually rebuilding coastland. Just because land has been lost to the sea doesn't mean that it's lost forever (Just ask Holland). Before the river was levied forcing the river to dump all of its sediment straight off the continental shelf and into the deep gulf the rate of coastal erosion was balanced by a roughly equal rate of sediment deposition, hence the coastline was in equilibrium and there was little net change in the coastline.

The easiest way to solve the problem would be to knock the levies down, but as this would cause more problems than the loss of coastline, we have to come up with more creative and difficult solutions.

Or not.

It all depends on how badly we want to solve the problem. So far, our country doesn't want to invest much in trying to solve the problem. Meanwhile, we're losing the richest seafood-producing region in the country and in the future it will be much harder to extract the petroleum deep under the coastal areas.

One last thing - even if all the feds could do was to delay the inevitable, I believe the expenditure would still be justified. Try some South Louisiana seafood. You might agree.

 

[tortoise]

One last thing - even if all the feds could do was to delay the inevitable, I believe the expenditure would still be justified. Try some South Louisiana seafood. You might agree.

Orgasms of the mouth:

 

[Rambling Rose]

And still the question remains to be asked...

What are you doing in New Orleans, DCL? Should I bring more fireworks?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

What are the Feds supposed to do? Syphon everything into Alabama?

Seriously. Is there a solution beyond staving off the inevitable? What brilliant contingency plans sit unconsidered in some environmental genius' desk?

Find John McPhee's remarkable essay, "Atchafalaya." Read it.

Not only will it teach you the correct pronunciation of "Atchafalaya," but it will show you that the Army Corps of Engineers is holding N.O. together with baling wire and twine.

Better yet, read it on the flight down here. Try to enjoy your visit.

 

[Ginny]

Atchafalaya Basin

mais cher....it's the uh-chaff-uh-lie-uh basin.....

a paradise...truly...