I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.
She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.
The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: "Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"
I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).
The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.
My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?
I’d love to hear your experiences.
She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.
The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: "Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"
I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).
The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.
My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?
I’d love to hear your experiences.
Last edited:
