is my fantasy odd?

[socalguy28]

I want my wife to have sex with another man. My wife feels she's to big and no man would want her. I have a feeling she would go through with it IF it were to "just happen"And not be a planned event. I would appreciate your advice. Am I nuts? Has anyone else gone through this?

 

[Noor]

your fantasy seems to be quite common on lit. Are you nuts? ? Well if you actually want to go through with this, yes probably.

Many people don't realize that when you add a third party to your sexual equation there is always the risk that it will destroy your relationship.

What if your wife finds out that guys like her even though she is big and she wants to sample them all?
What if she falls for your third party?

 

[69Muffin]

Well Noor, I don't agree. If a relationship is strong and solid and built on love, it will not only survive a little playing, it will grow stronger. If a relationship falls apart because of something like this, then chances are it would have fallen apart eventually over something else.

But SoCal, this is something that is entirely up to your wife. It has to be her choice. If it happens, it happens. Good luck and hope ya'll have fun with it. I'm sure you will.

 

[1sexylady]

I think if she is into it...go for it. It is a matter of trust. I myself find it very erotic..

 

[69Muffin]

I think if she is into it...go for it. It is a matter of trust. I myself find it very erotic..

Hiya hon. Damn, there doesn't seem to be much we disagree on is there? *lol* And from the time on the clock I guess insomnia is one of those things?

 

[1sexylady]

Hiya hon. Damn, there doesn't seem to be much we disagree on is there? *lol* And from the time on the clock I guess insomnia is one of those things?

Hi Muffy...How you doing? How is your Love? Give a few extra hugs for me will ya... Well all I can say is great minds think alike... But I am getting tired and need to go to bed...so have a wonderful night..

 

[69Muffin]

Hi Muffy...How you doing? How is your Love? Give a few extra hugs for me will ya... Well all I can say is great minds think alike... But I am getting tired and need to go to bed...so have a wonderful night..

I'm doing great sweetie. So is Bob. We just saw each other Wednesday. And I'm still grinning! *lol*....I certainly will give him bunches of hugs from you.
Yeah, I'm getting a little tired myself. Good night hon. Talk to you soon.

 

[1sexylady]

I'm doing great sweetie. So is Bob. We just saw each other Wednesday. And I'm still grinning! *lol*....I certainly will give him bunches of hugs from you.
Yeah, I'm getting a little tired myself. Good night hon. Talk to you soon.

Nite...

 

[socalguy28]

Well Noor, I don't agree. If a relationship is strong and solid and built on love, it will not only survive a little playing, it will grow stronger. If a relationship falls apart because of something like this, then chances are it would have fallen apart eventually over something else.

But SoCal, this is something that is entirely up to your wife. It has to be her choice. If it happens, it happens. Good luck and hope ya'll have fun with it. I'm sure you will.

This is exactly how i feel. I'm very thankful for your responses. I'm going to let her read them tonight.



Thanks again.

 

[Noor]

Well Noor, I don't agree. If a relationship is strong and solid and built on love, it will not only survive a little playing, it will grow stronger. If a relationship falls apart because of something like this, then chances are it would have fallen apart eventually over something else.

But SoCal, this is something that is entirely up to your wife. It has to be her choice. If it happens, it happens. Good luck and hope ya'll have fun with it. I'm sure you will.

Well I am not opposed to what you are suggesting. In general, I would agree with you, however there is that possibility.
Given what I have seen and experienced in the last year, if I were in a serious long term exclusive relationship I would think long and hard before adding another person to the mix.
Not being monagamous in general, I am used to having strong feelings for more than one person but many people are not.
In some religions there is the idea of improper situations which I used to think that was all silly. However once you find yourself watching a person seriously struggle because they have strong feelings for their SO and someone else, you realize that if they had avoided these "improper situations" they would be much happier and maybe better off. There is no turning back once there either, you can stop or change your actions but you can't really change how you feel.

If a relationship falls apart because of something like this, then chances are it would have fallen apart eventually over something else.

I disagree with this statement. It depends entirely on the person added to the mix, and how each individual responses to them, something that can not be found out until it happens. There can be a sort of a oneness, a sacred aspect that can happen during sex, that does not depend on your defined relationship, and when it happens you are forever changed in a way. If you are in a happy spot, a good relationship why risked losing it for something that may mean nothing beyond a sex?

Not sure I explained this well, but I tried. I hope you never experience what I am writing about, but it is a possibility and one that I would avoid if I could.

Noor

 

[69Muffin]

Noor, I'm sorry you had an awful experience. But I do understand what you're saying. But I still feel that if something like that made a relationship fall apart, it was just the catalyst, not the reason. I was married a long time ago, and decided to have an "open marriage". Well, that marriage was doomed from the start, so meeting new people gave me the push to get out of it.

I am not capable of having strong feelings for more than one person at a time. I am completely devoted to the man in my life and if we play, the other body is just that, a body that is there for sex, nothing more.

So all I'm telling SoCal is that if they can be of that mindset then they should be in the clear. But they do BOTH have to be of that mindset.

 

[carrie-on]

I agree with what Muffin had to say. I think that if your marriage or relationship is strong..an extra person to play with can really add to it.
When I first met my "friend" Hubby was excited by the thought of seeing me with another woman. When he realized that it was ME she wanted and not him...things were a little shaky. Then he realized that I love him and would never leave him for her and he has been ok with it. I have always told him that if it was going to cause problems then it would end.
Noor...I,too can understand what you are saying about it. Some relationships are just not able to stand it.
I think that right from the start EVERYONE should know the limits...if it's just sex,make sure all are in agreement.

 

[69Muffin]

I agree with what Muffin had to say. I think that if your marriage or relationship is strong..an extra person to play with can really add to it.
When I first met my "friend" Hubby was excited by the thought of seeing me with another woman. When he realized that it was ME she wanted and not him...things were a little shaky. Then he realized that I love him and would never leave him for her and he has been ok with it. I have always told him that if it was going to cause problems then it would end.
Noor...I,too can understand what you are saying about it. Some relationships are just not able to stand it.
I think that right from the start EVERYONE should know the limits...if it's just sex,make sure all are in agreement.

The most important limit being that if either husband or wife does not want to continue 'playing', then it stops. No questions, no arguments, no pleading. It stops. Because once it stops being a game you play, it stops being fun. Then it can affect the relationship.

 

[socalguy28]

The most important limit being that if either husband or wife does not want to continue 'playing', then it stops. No questions, no arguments, no pleading. It stops. Because once it stops being a game you play, it stops being fun. Then it can affect the relationship.

I agree completely. My wife and I have no sex life right now. We haven't had sex in about 8 months. I used to work way too much. I recently quit my job and started my own business in an effort to spend more time with my family and improve on our sex life. I would like to add some spice and excitement into our relationship and this has been a fantasy of mine for some time now. She has stated that if she ever did do this then the guy would have to be hung or it wouldn't be worth it. Lady's, any ideas on how to make this happen?

 

[69Muffin]

I agree completely. My wife and I have no sex life right now. We haven't had sex in about 8 months. I used to work way too much. I recently quit my job and started my own business in an effort to spend more time with my family and improve on our sex life. I would like to add some spice and excitement into our relationship and this has been a fantasy of mine for some time now. She has stated that if she ever did do this then the guy would have to be hung or it wouldn't be worth it. Lady's, any ideas on how to make this happen?

Well, to start, why don't you place an ad in LIT's personals? It can't hurt. See if there's anyone living close to you that is interested. Or if you don't feel comfortable with that, browse the personals and see if anything catches your eye.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

I want my wife to have sex with another man. My wife feels she's to big and no man would want her. I have a feeling she would go through with it IF it were to "just happen"And not be a planned event. I would appreciate your advice. Am I nuts? Has anyone else gone through this?

Well, first of all, there will be men interested in your wife. My wife was/is big and we've never had much of a problem finding partners for mfm's or other couples for that matter. Depends on what you want out of that relationship and what your preferences, likes and dislikes and finding the right level of compatibility.

And, yes, there are dangers if you don't have a solid relationship. In our case we were married a long time when we started, had a great sex life without adding anyone and had absolute trust in each other. It's worked out great and we have a lot of fun.

Trying this won't save your marriage. We'd recommend you strengthen your current relationship before considering adding anyone else.

Just our two cents.

 

[stud4girl69]

socalguy28

I can help you out with this if you want im in san diego