Is male desire cyclical?

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I've been wondering a lot about something lately. So many articles, books, and indeed threads here are devoted to female desire--what times of the month, times of life, times of year are more likely to make female desire wax and wane. And it's become a very accepted "fact" that female desire is fickle and that their partners have to bear with these periods of lower interest. But no one really talks about male desire--the converse of the "women are fickle" narrative is the "men want it all the time" myth. But just from my own admittedly limited experience, I know that's not true. I've definitely noticed some patterns with the partners I've had. So men, share--is there a time of day, the month, the year or time of life when desire is either really high or really low? Did you hit a certain age like 40 and it took a big hit? Is it tied to external factors like work or family stress or does it seem more seasonal or hormonal? Or does it indeed stay pretty much constant for you regardless of what's going on?

 

[MelnMe]

Yes, it's cyclical.

It's at its highest point just before we cum, and at its lowest point just after.

 

[ConflictedOne]

I'm a Christian, raised with very conservative views on sex but after discovering this site I can say, my drive has increased exponentially...

 

[MelnMe]

That sounds like I'm being facetious, doesn't it?

It is true, though. If a man's sole reason for sex is orgasm, what I described above is about as good as it gets.

For those of us who deny ourselves easy orgasms, though, and devote ourselves to our partner's pleasure...

 

[FUBARd1]

Yes, mine is certainly cyclical. It doesn't seem to be based on a time frame so much as a natural ebb and flow, the origins of which I don't really comprehend.

I go through periods of weeks or days where sex is very much on my mind, and then have times when I really am not that interested, at least physically. I might still like thinking or talking about it, but not actually having sex.

I might be the outlier, though.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

That sounds like I'm being facetious, doesn't it?

It is true, though. If a man's sole reason for sex is orgasm, what I described above is about as good as it gets.

For those of us who deny ourselves easy orgasms, though, and devote ourselves to our partner's pleasure...

I meant more the walking around desire--the random "it would be nice to get off" thoughts that sprinkle through your day. Not the "naked woman in front of me" & how much do you want it thing, although that is indeed part of it, as sometimes the naked woman gets turned down and other times she gets jumped, but I think once in the bedroom with orgasms on the table, the desire is already there. But I KNOW guys go through periods where they masturbate daily (or more!) and think about sex all the time and periods where they don't. And that's what I'm curious about.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

Yes, mine is certainly cyclical. It doesn't seem to be based on a time frame so much as a natural ebb and flow, the origins of which I don't really comprehend.

I go through periods of weeks or days where sex is very much on my mind, and then have times when I really am not that interested, at least physically. I might still like thinking or talking about it, but not actually having sex.

I might be the outlier, though.

YES. Thank you. This is what I mean. I want to figure this out, possibly so that I take the ebb and flow less personally, but also just because it's fascinating.

 

[bogusguy]

Mine has stayed constant. I was a horny lil bastard when I was young and it's the same now. Mornings and evenings would be the normal heightened sense of arousal. Hmm...thinking though, sometimes the bodies arousals may not keep up with the mental arousals.

 

[FUBARd1]

YES. Thank you. This is what I mean. I want to figure this out, possibly so that I take the ebb and flow less personally, but also just because it's fascinating.

Yes, I would encourage you NOT to take it personally, because it happens whether I'm even in a relationship or not. It really has to do with internal weather rather than external factors, as far as I can tell.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I can only speak authoritatively about my own experiences, and generally about some of my friends. For most of my life I have been a stereo-typical every day all the time kind of guy. Sex was the first thing on my mind when I woke up, the last thing on my mind when I went to bed, and comprised roughly every third thought throughout the day. Not only did I think about it at all times, I was ready to go and capable of performing anytime and anywhere. The only thing that slowed me down was when I had already performed three times or more in one day.

Since my fiftieth birthday, however, I have slowed down. Most days, once a day is enough now. I can still go twice a day on some occasions, and I recently went three (surprised the hell out of me).

I'm generally a morning person. I prefer to exercise in the morning, I get my best work done in the morning, and I have my best sex in the morning. That has been consistent throughout my life. The difference now is that the morning sex is almost always the only sex I have in a day, whereas before it was just the first of many.

Most of my friends started slowing down in their mid-40s. I'm just now reaching where they were several years ago. At first I thought I was immune, but now I'm finding that I'm just agging behind a little.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

Mine has stayed constant. I was a horny lil bastard when I was young and it's the same now. Mornings and evenings would be the normal heightened sense of arousal. Hmm...thinking though, sometimes the bodies arousals may not keep up with the mental arousals.

See this is me. Perhaps I was a guy in my previous life. LOL.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I can only speak authoritatively about my own experiences, and generally about some of my friends. For most of my life I have been a stereo-typical every day all the time kind of guy. Sex was the first thing on my mind when I woke up, the last thing on my mind when I went to bed, and comprised roughly every third thought throughout the day. Not only did I think about it at all times, I was ready to go and capable of performing anytime and anywhere. The only thing that slowed me down was when I had already performed three times or more in one day.

Since my fiftieth birthday, however, I have slowed down. Most days, once a day is enough now. I can still go twice a day on some occasions, and I recently went three (surprised the hell out of me).

I'm generally a morning person. I prefer to exercise in the morning, I get my best work done in the morning, and I have my best sex in the morning. That has been consistent throughout my life. The difference now is that the morning sex is almost always the only sex I have in a day, whereas before it was just the first of many.

Most of my friends started slowing down in their mid-40s. I'm just now reaching where they were several years ago. At first I thought I was immune, but now I'm finding that I'm just agging behind a little.

Thank you for sharing. This helps a lot. And thank you for sharing about your friends--that's kind of what I'm seeing now in my life with my man, and knowing other men hit the forties with a slow down helps.

 

[BiTodd]

I have always considered myself different. Of course here on lit i start to feel more normal but still an outlier. I was a pervy kid, and super horny. I masturbated several times a day , throughout junior high and highschool, and college. I sucked my own cock several times a week, until i found out that lots of girls and some guys would suck it for me. I was always horny. Thinking about sex i had and sex i wanted. Always working the angles trying to figure out how to get more and more naughty, hot sex. I am now a few months away from 50 recently divorced and nothing has changed libido wise.

I can say that during times of intense stress, my interest can wane. But not for long.

 

[LibraStud]

I am pretty much horny all the time - when the full moon is near and for a few days after, my sexual tension is much higher! Sounds strange, but a lot of funny tings happen in hospitals, nursing homes, schools and other places at this time of the month.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I am pretty much horny all the time - when the full moon is near and for a few days after, my sexual tension is much higher! Sounds strange, but a lot of funny tings happen in hospitals, nursing homes, schools and other places at this time of the month.

I'm totally going to aim for jumping my man around the next full moon and see if he's more into it at those times

 

[TalkToMeInSB]

I was just talking to my partner about this recently! She is going through a hard time and has little to no libido. I mentioned how tough it was for me because I was the "high" part of my cycle. Meaning my libido was off the charts. Told her how difficult it was to even watch her shower and get dressed in the morning because I just want to jump her.

My libido is higher than most of the partners I've been with but I do have a cycle and have not tracked why, how the cycles oscillate. I just feel it and go with it.

When I'm "up" I typically masturbate several times a day.

 

[HoldYouDown]

I've been wondering a lot about something lately. So many articles, books, and indeed threads here are devoted to female desire--what times of the month, times of life, times of year are more likely to make female desire wax and wane. And it's become a very accepted "fact" that female desire is fickle and that their partners have to bear with these periods of lower interest. But no one really talks about male desire--the converse of the "women are fickle" narrative is the "men want it all the time" myth. But just from my own admittedly limited experience, I know that's not true. I've definitely noticed some patterns with the partners I've had. So men, share--is there a time of day, the month, the year or time of life when desire is either really high or really low? Did you hit a certain age like 40 and it took a big hit? Is it tied to external factors like work or family stress or does it seem more seasonal or hormonal? Or does it indeed stay pretty much constant for you regardless of what's going on?

Men are built to be ready to procreate at the drop of a hat. Of course outside factors play a role, but it's not the same as the female sexual cycle. Even on a woman's horniest day of the month, a man still has 17 times the amount of testosterone pumping through him.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I was just talking to my partner about this recently! She is going through a hard time and has little to no libido. I mentioned how tough it was for me because I was the "high" part of my cycle. Meaning my libido was off the charts. Told her how difficult it was to even watch her shower and get dressed in the morning because I just want to jump her.

My libido is higher than most of the partners I've been with but I do have a cycle and have not tracked why, how the cycles oscillate. I just feel it and go with it.

When I'm "up" I typically masturbate several times a day.

I feel you so much. I'm very much "up" right now and he's very much not. And I do think outside factors play a role for both genders, as you're seeing with your partner.

 

[jehoram]

Well, it's almost always in the background. But my libido is influenced heavily by outside pressures like anxiety, uncertainty, and life-altering things like deaths in the family.

Other than that, I don't think that there's a biological cycle. The odd times when I haven't been able to get off, due to simple inconvenience rather than the influences I listed above, are usually followed by a higher than normal libido. Then it all balances out again.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

Well, it's almost always in the background. But my libido is influenced heavily by outside pressures like anxiety, uncertainty, and life-altering things like deaths in the family.

Other than that, I don't think that there's a biological cycle. The odd times when I haven't been able to get off, due to simple inconvenience rather than the influences I listed above, are usually followed by a higher than normal libido. Then it all balances out again.

Thanks for sharing! I think outside pressures play a bigger role than most people want to admit. And for some people outside pressures make them need it more (this is true for me and some I know) and others need it less.

 

[craiger58]

While women's cycles may be lunar (I don't know of course), mine is more based on the cycle of a day. I wake up with a throbbing between my legs and if Mrs. is nearby I'm all over her. Failing that if I see her getting out of the shower, lotioning, putting on makeup or doing that cool thing where a women bends forward to try to corral her big tits into a bra, I'm all over her. That usually results in a swat and an, "I'm already late!" however.

Then the "need to seed" usually cools off while my mind gets distracted by work for a few hours, unless of course there's something visually attractive in a work mate or customer/supplier. Then later it's off to the bank (where there might be a fine-bootied specimen in front of me in line or the ridiculous cleavage of a teller) and then to pick up some lunch (with the same potential distractions as the bank). Then it's back to work where the computer and the phone and people take my mind off of sex for another few hours.

Then it's home where if I'm lucky (or I follow her upstairs at exactly the right time), I'll get to watch the strip-out-of-work-clothes show and hopefully lock the bedroom door behind us. Then it's kids and dinner and cleanup and homework and activities until actual bed time, where she's naked and right beside you and hopefully of a similar mind.

And after mutual orgasms it's off to sleep only to wake up 6 or 7 hours later with another raging hardon and the cycle begins again.

Being a little facetious here and, as many have mentioned, real-life, stress, crappy weather or many other things can certainly damper sexual interest/drive, but in my opinion the male cycle works closer to the sun and not the moon and is accelerated by visual stimulae and opportunity.

 

[MelnMe]

Yes, outside pressures. We're in the situation where I work away from home every week, so we have completely different stresses. It's amazing that our 'up' phases overlap at all.

We put a lot of effort into making sure they do, though. I don't masturbate to competition while I'm away, so we both know that when I get home I'll have a strong physical desire for her.

Ideally I'd love Mel to be active on literotica and allow herself to fantasize and get aroused, but her hands are generally full in more prosaic ways while I'm away.

So I suppose (ignoring my earlier flippant comments!) I've kind of engineered my 'up' phase to be in step with my shift pattern.

 

[newhere2learn]

Yes, mine is certainly cyclical. It doesn't seem to be based on a time frame so much as a natural ebb and flow, the origins of which I don't really comprehend.

I go through periods of weeks or days where sex is very much on my mind, and then have times when I really am not that interested, at least physically. I might still like thinking or talking about it, but not actually having sex.

I might be the outlier, though.

Can empathise with this. Weeks on r d I'll think about sex 24/7, any type going. Permanent hard on.

Then for no real reason a week or two I'll have no desire. Busy time a work, mixed with tiredness, doing more exercise etc and my desire falls.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I love the tremendous variety of these answers! Thank you gentlemen for sharing!

 

[elizabeth15]

Men have monthly and life-long hormonal cycles just like women do, so there's some natural ebb and flow to desire based on biology alone. Also people vary greatly when it comes to the effects of stress on libido. That's usually where I see a lot of sexual mismatch.

There are also some tentative links between Asperger's and asexuality, and Asperger's is predominantly a condition that affects men. Hopefully there will be some additional research coming out about this over the next few years.