Is love and lust incompatible?

[MDouglas]

I would have answered that question w/ an emphatic no, until recently.

I'm now 39, and have been doing some soul searching of late. I'm single, good looking (not like movie star good looking. but despite a few extra pounds I clean up well), gregarious (blessed w/ some good friends & family), good career, and a fairly adventurous sex life. I've been engaged once when I was 26, and had more than my fair share of imaginative lovers before and since. not bragging, but thankful. i'm not a "stud" out for conquest.

So here's the deal: I can't seem to find that special woman who's both lust filled and adventurous between the satin sheets, as well as being a good life partner/friend. I guess I'm looking for the proverbial: "slut in the bedroom & lady in the parlor." But it seems that the more adventurous a woman is sexually, the less likey she is to be a good, honest, moral, reliable friend/life partner.

Am I asking for too much? I wish I didn't have needs that go beyond the standard missionary position under the covers the w/ lights off. But I can't seem to be fully turned on by a woman who's doesn't enjoy things like....being ravished doggy style while having her face deep into the smooth pussy of another woman (how's that for a run-on sentence?!). but every woman i've been w/ who meets my lust quota (lol can you quantify that?), also turns out to be either cheat, or her world totally revolves around sex, and/or turns out to have some major personality "issues." if a woman likes to do something like call her man "daddy" when she's cumming, does that automatically signify that she's a wacko?

And to complicate matters even more: I'm a Christian! Not like a bible banging, cable tele-evangelist watchin', evolution denying type Christian. But a JC believing Christian who happens to think that the Big Guy isn't all that against loving people gettin' their freak on.

Maybe I'm the one who's messed up.

What to do?

Mark

 

[Guttergoddess]

I would have answered that question w/ an emphatic no, until recently.

I'm now 39, and have been doing some soul searching of late. I'm single, good looking (not like movie star good looking. but despite a few extra pounds I clean up well), gregarious (blessed w/ some good friends & family), good career, and a fairly adventurous sex life. I've been engaged once when I was 26, and had more than my fair share of imaginative lovers before and since. not bragging, but thankful. i'm not a "stud" out for conquest.

So here's the deal: I can't seem to find that special woman who's both lust filled and adventurous between the satin sheets, as well as being a good life partner/friend. I guess I'm looking for the proverbial: "slut in the bedroom & lady in the parlor." But it seems that the more adventurous a woman is sexually, the less likey she is to be a good, honest, moral, reliable friend/life partner.

Am I asking for too much? I wish I didn't have needs that go beyond the standard missionary position under the covers the w/ lights off. But I can't seem to be fully turned on by a woman who's doesn't enjoy things like....being ravished doggy style while having her face deep into the smooth pussy of another woman (how's that for a run-on sentence?!). but every woman i've been w/ who meets my lust quota (lol can you quantify that?), also turns out to be either cheat, or her world totally revolves around sex, and/or turns out to have some major personality "issues." if a woman likes to do something like call her man "daddy" when she's cumming, does that automatically signify that she's a wacko?

And to complicate matters even more: I'm a Christian! Not like a bible banging, cable tele-evangelist watchin', evolution denying type Christian. But a JC believing Christian who happens to think that the Big Guy isn't all that against loving people gettin' their freak on.

Maybe I'm the one who's messed up.

What to do?

Mark

I don't believe love and lust are incompatible. I for one love my BF to death, but at the same time, we have an open relationship, sometimes we bring others into our bedroom, sometimes we have adventures that we tell the other about later (and usually before the fact that it's going to happen, we're totally honest with each other). I was raised Catholic, I'm not a churchgoer, but believe in the basic principles of the church. I work in a VERY public profession, and am highly involved in politics and charity. Quite honestly, if you ran into me outside of lit you'd never guess that as you put it, I'm a slut in the bedroom (or any other room that I can find a way to do it). I believe that if you've stopped experimenting, you've stopped living.

 

[poppy1963]

I play the Madonna in what we call real life...and the Whore here...at Lit. I haven't found the path to blending them so well...I still seek it. That would be the perfect mix for me.

But I grew up in times when my role models were June Cleaver or Janis Joplin.

I really do like Janis better...at this age.

 

[MDouglas]

I don't believe love and lust are incompatible. I for one love my BF to death, but at the same time, we have an open relationship, sometimes we bring others into our bedroom, sometimes we have adventures that we tell the other about later (and usually before the fact that it's going to happen, we're totally honest with each other). I was raised Catholic, I'm not a churchgoer, but believe in the basic principles of the church. I work in a VERY public profession, and am highly involved in politics and charity. Quite honestly, if you ran into me outside of lit you'd never guess that as you put it, I'm a slut in the bedroom (or any other room that I can find a way to do it). I believe that if you've stopped experimenting, you've stopped living.

Guttergoddess,

Your man is very lucky!

 

[MDouglas]

...I haven't found the path to blending them so well...

Poppy1963,

What the hell you waitin' for?! Where do you want to meet? Vegas?

Mark

P.S. Janis was great. So was Jim & Jimmi. I think I'm really gettin' old when I see some crap on MTV and find myself saying things like "you kids don't know what music is!"

 

[Guttergoddess]

Guttergoddess,

Your man is very lucky!

He keeps telling me that, I think I'm the lucky one...he lets me have my fun, lets me be "me" and realizes that family/faith/country are VERY important to me.

 

[CheekyLady]

The quest

Hey Mark,

If you ever started a poll or thread - "slut in the bedroom & lady in the parlor." raise your hands! - I'm pretty sure a considerably percentage of the female Lit visitors would qualify and say so. Now as for being actively religious, I have seen a few polls, an even fewer positive replies to them.

I for one, am both. A little proud of it, at times struggling but mostly living a well-balanced and productive life. A very dear friend called me once “one in a million” in a quiet different context but I think it fits here as well. I have come to a point in my life when I realized that fighting either or both aspects only takes my energy away and leaves me unfulfilled at the end of the day. I am hoping for a very similar kind of balance in my future life partner. Someone to appreciate and share both sides in and with me. Someone to snuggle close to and say a prayer with before going to sleep, and appreciate the naughty phone calls I'll surprise him with in the office the next day.

Its quite the quest! But I keep thinking that if God designed me to be such a complicated person, there has to be at least one equally complicated and twisted match out there for me. And if we only find each other, we'll be happy beyond words together.

You sound like a fun-loving and sincere person. If you really are, don't worry. Be confident in who you are and what you want. I think there are many women out there who fit your desires, but very few of them will actually run around with “slut inside” printed on their high cut silken blouses. So keep your eyes open along with your heart ( and fly ), your mate will come along and she will be everything you desire and so much more!

Happy hunting and keep on smiling! It's infectious.

ChL

 

[MDouglas]

I am hoping for a very similar kind of balance in my future life partner. Someone to appreciate and share both sides in and with me. Someone to snuggle close to and say a prayer with before going to sleep, and appreciate the naughty phone calls I'll surprise him with in the office the next day.

That would most likely lead to a lunch time rendezvous!

Its quite the quest! But I keep thinking that if God designed me to be such a complicated person, there has to be at least one equally complicated and twisted match out there for me. And if we only find each other, we'll be happy beyond words together.

Here I am! Where the hell have you been?

You sound like a fun-loving and sincere person. If you really are, don't worry. Be confident in who you are and what you want. I think there are many women out there who fit your desires, but very few of them will actually run around with “slut inside” printed on their high cut silken blouses. So keep your eyes open along with your heart ( and fly ), your mate will come along and she will be everything you desire and so much more!

I'll have that silken blouse embroidered for you and custom made. What color would you prefer?

Happy hunting and keep on smiling! It's infectious.

You sound like an amazing woman! I was smiling until I noticed the term "cheeky." That would mean you're most likely from the U.K., and an entire ocean is seperating us from our first date. damn

 

[bashfull]

Great topic. There was a thread with quite a bit of discussion on it several years ago, called Romance vs. Raunch. I've included the link.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=122174

's ladies
^5 fellas

Bash

 

[CheekyLady]

Sorry, Mark. Pond indeed in between ... well, that and the fact that I'm as straight as a at attention, not to mention the wonderful man I'm corresponding with.

Still, I can relate to your situation and wish you much patience and a rewarding success story to share with us soon.

Take care,

ChL