Is it wrong to cheat on your new boyfriend?

[FallenAngel2]

God!! I'm going to burn in hell for this but I got caught up in a situation last night at a house party down the beach from us. Maybe it was the wine or maybe, god I dont know, it just happened. I mean, there I was giving a guy oral in the back bedrooom. I feel so guilty, should I tell Dan? or just leave it alone??

 

[bronntanas]

Cheating's always wrong unless you've negotiated an open relationship. In which case, it's not wrong, depending on how you've negotiated it. In mine, we're not allowed to see anyone secretly, and we get veto rights over potentials for the other two. Like, if kat was interested in a girl that amber and I couldn't stand, then Kat takes a pass on that one. If she went behind our backs and did it anyway, then it's cheating.

I have no idea if you should tell him or not. If it was me that got cheated on, I'd want to know. And honestly, I'd probably leave the cheater. But that's a risk my lover took when he cheated on me and I'm completely up front about that stuff. If I was the cheater, I wouldn't want to hurt my lover, since I know that I would appreciate the honesty. The big question for me is, did you use a rubber when you cheated? I know, it was "only oral" but disease gets passed that way, too. If you had unprotected sex of any sort with a stranger, then you owe it to Dan to tell him, since you've effectively put his health and well-being at risk.

 

[Programmer Cat]

God!! I'm going to burn in hell for this but I got caught up in a situation last night at a house party down the beach from us. Maybe it was the wine or maybe, god I dont know, it just happened. I mean, there I was giving a guy oral in the back bedrooom. I feel so guilty, should I tell Dan? or just leave it alone??

Yes, you should tell him. At the very least, he has the right to know so that he can keep himself safe. An HIV+ diagnosis is still a death sentence; the drugs just provide a stay of execution.

 

[Misty_Morning]

I have open relationships with my gal pals. In fact we like to hear about each other's encounters. I think you should tell him about it. Deception at the start of a relationship is bad juju.

 

[snowy ciara]

Bronn, I highly doubt you'd be the cheater. You're just not that kind of guy.

Fallen, you have a responsibility to tell him. AIDS is a nasty way to die, and there's a lot of other nasties out there that are just about as bad. (Hepatitus C, for one.) It ain't gonna be pretty, but you pay to play.

And if you did have unsafe sex with this stranger, you need to get tested for HIV. And try to avoid situations where these things "just happen".

 

[Etoile]

Is it wrong to cheat on your new boyfriend?

In all seriousness...do you have to ask? I would think the answer is clear. I agree with the others who have said you should tell him...and especially with the advice to not pull a stunt like that again. It sounds to me like "well gee, I can't help it, I just ended up blowing a guy" - if it's going to damage a relationship you value, you need to accept responsibility for yourself. I genuinely do not mean to be harsh...those are just my thoughts.

 

[The Neon Wolf]

I'd have to say tell him, I have been on the wrong end of the relationship in a situation like this. Except I found out from a friend who was at the bar with another group of friends. Hurt alot more then if she just told me.

Just be honest and explain the situation, he may be upset, or he may over react. I guess everything comes full circle, hope things are ok.

 

[HeavenCanWait]

I'd encourage you not to tell hima ctually.

It's the old saying, what he doesnt know wont hurt him. The key word here is HURT.

Either ell him, and accept that perhaps the trust will vanish, permenently. Or don't tell him, and be mindful of how you wronged him. And don't do it again*

Mat.

*Unless the guy is really hot or has a huge dick.

 

[bronntanas]

I'd encourage you not to tell hima ctually.

It's the old saying, what he doesnt know wont hurt him. The key word here is HURT.

HIV/AIDS hurts.

Hepatitus hurts.

HPV hurts and looks fugly, besides. (For some reason, telling people that being diseased sucks doesn't make a big difference. Telling them "Oh by the way, your dick's gonna get fuggly does.)

If it really happened, "Dan" needs to know.

 

[pa-guy]

In all seriousness...do you have to ask? I would think the answer is clear. I agree with the others who have said you should tell him...and especially with the advice to not pull a stunt like that again. It sounds to me like "well gee, I can't help it, I just ended up blowing a guy" - if it's going to damage a relationship you value, you need to accept responsibility for yourself. I genuinely do not mean to be harsh...those are just my thoughts.

as usual, Etoile is right on the money

 

[HeavenCanWait]

Hey, check out the thread entitled'okay, im going to find out if im really homosexuak'.l
in this thread this nob claims to be meeting a guy for the first time to test if he is gay.

he then gets busted. It's pretty funny.

 

[playwithlezli]

Hey, check out the thread entitled'okay, im going to find out if im really homosexuak'.l
in this thread this nob claims to be meeting a guy for the first time to test if he is gay.

he then gets busted. It's pretty funny.

been breaking in his new boyfriends office too

So Fallen Angel, do you need attention (which is a valid human need BTW) or are you curious about the morals of queer folk? Oddly enough, you'll find that even though most of us do not fit the "norm" for acceptable sexual behaviours , we are surprising straight laced about how to treat folks and rather uptight about playing safe.

As to "what he doesn't know..." well, that one usually comes back to bite you in the bum, and not in any way that is pleasant!

There is my lecture for the day-hope everything turns out fine in the end.

 

[Johnny_Sunshine]

Okaaay....Just worked out what GLBT means (I subcosciously assumed 'G' was 'general' and didn't read the description - hell, I'm new here & generally barrel head-long into things!). Sorry, and as you were, my gay brothers & sisters.

 

[MichelAngel0]

It is better that you tell him rather than he finds out from someone else

 

[rjp44]

God!! I'm going to burn in hell for this but I got caught up in a situation last night at a house party down the beach from us. Maybe it was the wine or maybe, god I dont know, it just happened. I mean, there I was giving a guy oral in the back bedrooom. I feel so guilty, should I tell Dan? or just leave it alone??

Well, duh

 

[neonflux]

God!! I'm going to burn in hell for this but I got caught up in a situation last night at a house party down the beach from us. Maybe it was the wine or maybe, god I dont know, it just happened. I mean, there I was giving a guy oral in the back bedrooom. I feel so guilty, should I tell Dan? or just leave it alone??

Certainly cheating is wrong (it's not cheating if it's an open relationship). It makes sense that you'd feel guilty. That said, we all make mistakes. If this is not the sign of anything else going wrong in the relationship, it if is something you definitely plan never to do again, if your relationship is otherwise solid, if there is little chance that he would find out from someone else, if all you did is give the other guy a blow job (thus minimizing the change of bringing any nasty bugs into the relationship, although I still think that you should get an STD panel done) then I am in the minority here.

I think that you shouldn't tell - suffer with the guilt, sacrifice a little, don't hurt him.

However, if you answered no to any of the above questions, I would suggest otherwise. The hurt will be greater for him further down the line than it would be now. Of course, it will be difficult for you regardless of what you choose to do, and my heart goes out to you - and him.

just my way of thinking...
Neon

 

[hotDomGuy]

God!! I'm going to burn in hell for this but I got caught up in a situation last night at a house party down the beach from us. Maybe it was the wine or maybe, god I dont know, it just happened. I mean, there I was giving a guy oral in the back bedrooom. I feel so guilty, should I tell Dan? or just leave it alone??

If you think you've "cheated" on your bf, then it's wrong. That's the first issue.
But I don't believe that one should assume all relationships are closed unless explicitly stated as open. So, you might want to revisit your feelings of guilt in that respect before opening your mouth again.

The second issue is, "should you tell him?"

Well, if you haven't had the "open/closed/exclusiveness" discussion with your bf, then I wouldn't tell him and sort of start over.

And, shit, it was only a BJ.

 

[bg23]

oh my god you're so full of shit.

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=19738640&postcount=20