is it flirting?

[WriterBlocked]

If I am in a bar and a stranger starts flirting with me, I can usually pick up on it. But, in more subtle situations, I'm generally lost.

For example: I was just having a conversation with one of my officemates about her upcoming college schedule. As we were talking about English lit, she starter twirling her hair around her finger.

Is that flirting?

I should mention that I realize there are tons of factors that should be taken into account here. But, let's look at the general behavior and what that usually means.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Boundlife]

Another problem is there is flirting and Flirting. Some flirting is just notice me playing not ment to go anywhere. Then there is the I want to get you naked flirting
Again not helpful just thoughts

 

[Fuckette]

flirting is a sign of insecurity

 

[Loverskitten]

flirting is a sign of insecurity

I completely disagree. There have been so many times I wish I could have flirted but was too insecure to do so.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Another problem is there is flirting and Flirting. Some flirting is just notice me playing not ment to go anywhere. Then there is the I want to get you naked flirting
Again not helpful just thoughts

You are absolutely correct. One is merely designed to boost one's ego, the other is an invitation to play.

Maybe, maybe not. Sorry, I'm sure that's no help at all.

I am a hair twirler; I'll twirl my hair while I read, while I talk, while I think about something...it's usually a sub-conscious gesture. That said, I do know that it can be considered as flirtatious and I have stopped myself from twirling my hair when talking with a male colleague or someone with whom I wouldn't want to be giving false signals.

In your case, the "tons of other factors" will have to come into play. The twirling alone could mean anything...or nothing.

Agreed. I have always been told that when a woman touches you while talking to her, then she is interested. Well, one of my buddies is married to a smoking hot Jamaican woman. She's only about 5'1", but she has a beautiful face, a pretty smile, and an awesome set of DD tits. Every time I talk to her she has a hand on my arm, my chest, my thigh..whatever she can reach at the time. I thought she was coming on to me, and I fantasized about her all the time (with no intent to follow through). Well, one day my wife commented that she is always touching her, also, when they talk. The next time we were at a party with them, I noticed that she touched everyone, all the time. She's just a touchy-feely person, and it doesn't mean anything as to intent. She probably doesn't even know she does it.

 

[fire_breeze]

If I am in a bar and a stranger starts flirting with me, I can usually pick up on it. But, in more subtle situations, I'm generally lost.

For example: I was just having a conversation with one of my officemates about her upcoming college schedule. As we were talking about English lit, she starter twirling her hair around her finger.

Is that flirting?

I should mention that I realize there are tons of factors that should be taken into account here. But, let's look at the general behavior and what that usually means.

Like J , I'm a hair twirler, always have been. I tend to twirl my hair when I'm comfortable and/or exhausted - it is NOT a sign of flirting. And by the way, personally, I wouldn't flirt while talking about English lit to a colleague, but that's just me.

 

[boredVAwife]

flirting is a sign of insecurity

I have to disagree with that also. Lots of times I have flirted and I have few insecurities simply because most of the time I don't much bother with what others think about me. If they are right in their assumptions then great but if they are wrong, little I say is gonna change that so why bother being insecure? Just be you and F 'em if they don't like it. That, and throw dust everywhere as you are spinning out of there.

 

[Loverskitten]

To the OP, I play with my hair a lot even when I'm alone. Mostly I'm not flirting, I just like how it feels and smells
Here's what not to do if you can't figure out if a girl is flirting using her hair, HEHEHE psycho
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobil...ent-manager-embarrassing-email_n_1135279.html

 

[Boundlife]

nope, no simple answer

 

[roomfor1more]

It is difficult to know what that means without witnessing the context of the conversation, seeing how she is twirling it, and knowing her cultural background. The twirling of hair could mean she has an interest in you, it could mean she is bored, or it can means something completely different. My feeling, you may be reading more into the situation than exists.

 

[WriterBlocked]

Thanks everyone. For the record, I've worked with this woman for a while and have never seen her twirl her hair before, so it was unusual. And, considering the office politics, she needs me on her side. So, I think she was flirting, though probably not in the get naked kind of way.

I found the touchy-feely Jamaican woman interesting. Cultural context is very important. I have a friend from Comumbia who is very touchy-feely, but the Columbian sense of personal space is very different from that of America and it took me quite a while to get used to. Even knowing that our relationship was strictly platonic.

 

[RAddams]

A Woman playing with their hair is certainly a way of flirting but it can also be meaningless playing with hair.

 

[LucyH]

For the record, I've worked with this woman for a while and have never seen her twirl her hair before, so it was unusual.

Did she have her usual hairstyle at the time? I usually pull my hair back for work so it doesn't get in the way, and I don't touch it when it's pulled back. However, when the hair elastic comes out, I play with it constantly without thinking about it. Also, putting hairspray or styling goop in my hair makes it feel different, and stops me from playing with it.

 

[Noor]

Probably not flirting. Even if it was flirting it probably didn't mean anything.

I like men I can safely flirt with. People from other cultures can be much more fun.

The native male population where I live now considers saying "hi" when you pass them in the street or office building hallway an expression of interest, its such a pain. This is way I don't date natives.

 

[Somehowyou]

For example: I was just having a conversation with one of my officemates about her upcoming college schedule. As we were talking about English lit, she starter twirling her hair around her finger.

Is that flirting?
.

What? twirling hair you say? How can this be interpreted as anything less? You may as well write "Fuckme" on your forhead. This is blatent!

 

[literalwife]

Sometimes a hair twirl is just a hair twirl.

 

[iadoremywife]

Hair twirling could or could not be flirting. You needed to look in her eyes when she was doing it. The eyes do not lie.