Is it erotic?

[vic450]

Okay, I've posted more stories. I've taken NCmVoyeur's comments and have started working on correcting the first post. However, I'd appreciate more feedbacks/comments on them.

The story Morning was my second piece of work ever. I kind of expected it to flunk in the eyes of experts. (Of course, all of us really hope it doesn't but it was not unexpected.)

The next story "The Window" was written basically a couple of weeks later, inspired by a friend.

Months later, I decided to give it another try because the couple of people I sent the earlier stories to enjoyed it.

I then wrote Picnic. I wasn't quite happy with it as I was not sure it was erotic enough. But again, the few people I sent it to, liked it and encouraged me to write more.

Well, Phone Tease was written basically on a dare. I was dared to write about phone sex. I was told that they thought it was impossible to do it. To write about describing two people describing what they're doing over the phone. LOL. So, I tried it. You tell me if it worked.

What kinds of comments am I seeking? Well, I really want to know if it is erotic. For men and for women. I know there are lots of grammatical problems and abuse of things, thanks to NCmVoyeur's comments and a few emailed feedbacks. And I appreciate them, I really do, but those that commented about grammar and word abuse did not mention whether I was making it. Did you feel the words?

Vic

 

[vic450]

I'm really confused now...

Okay, someone help me out. Please. I'm really confused.

I've read the posts on voting and I understand what everyone is saying.

Here's what I find confusing. I've got 6 stories up. All of them have decent voting. They have some sort of 'viewed' stats.

Morning Phone Tease
Rating Votes Viewed Rating Votes Viewed
4.57 14 2244 4.45 11 2314

Picnic Rough Day
Rating Votes Viewed Rating Votes Viewed
4.89 9 2833 4.60 5 0

The Window Video
Rating Votes Viewed Rating Votes Viewed
4.50 6 2909 4.29 17 4824

How should I take this? LOL. I have the most viewed and strangely enough the lowest rating in that last story.

And also, is the Viewed stats accurate? Does anyone know? Or does that increment every time anyone goes into the story to read.? How much faith should I have in it?

So many questions. Thank you for taking your time to do so.

Vic

 

[vic450]

stats

Morning
Rating Votes Viewed
4.57...14.......2244

Phone Tease
Rating Votes Viewed
4.45....11......2314

Picnic
Rating Votes Viewed
4.89....9........2833

Rough Day
Rating Votes Viewed
4.60....5........0

The Window
Rating Votes Viewed
4.50....6........2909

Video
Rating Votes Viewed
4.29....17......4824

 

[the_bragis]

Hi Vic,

I have just finished reading your story "Morning".

First may I say, I am not an expert or an editor. These comments are my personal, not professional opinions.

Did i 'feel your words?". Yes I think so.

You have a wonderful imagination and you have been are able to express it here. I guess for me, good gramma and spelling do make it so much easy to, as you put it, 'feel the words'. Having said that, unless the English is blatantly bad, I usually skim over any mistakes.

Most of the description were clear, although a couple confused me.

e.g. "His eyes wandered up and down her form" didn't quite jell for me, eyes wandering sounded odd to me. I think of hands wandering but not eyes. Others may disagree.

Speaking of hands, on the other hand "One of her smooth arms softly tucked under the pillow while the other lays gently on her side, accentuating her curved hip." for me painted a very sensual picture in my head. (Watch those tenses though... 'lays' should have been laid...mixing past and present is distracting for the reader.)

It's just so damned hard to please everyone isn't it?? Women are usually looking for soft sensual love making stories, men usually want rampant wild sex (God love 'em!), the kinky ones amongst us are just so hard to please any time(nothing in bdsm rates above 4.5), while the "experts".... well if it doesn't make it though the word check programme without stopping...it's no good for them either. Your good ratings demonstrate people obviously enjoy your work. So Vic, please yourself. Keep writing and continue enjoying it.

For me as a woman...Yes I found this story sensual. I think that was your original question wasn't it?.....sorry I guess i got sidetracked..


Have a great day,

Alex (fem)

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Don't listen to me

Reading your voting scores, Vic, I'm a bit embarrassed thinking you're taking my comments too seriously. Your lowest score (almost) exceeds my highest. If you start thinking and writing like me, your scores will suffer.

Many before you have wracked their brains trying to make sense of the vote/read/scores tallies. The general consensus is that there's little rhyme or reason to the numbers.

On the assumption that 'arousal factor' is the most influential criterion in voting, you can safely assume with those scores that people find your stories erotic. My comments are almost always directed to the (relatively small) segment within Literotica that values story-telling as art and literature. Some stories manage to exceed both in quality of writing and in popular appeal. But often there's a tension between the literary and the erotic elements.

 

[vic450]

Thank you

Thank you the_bragis and NCmVoyeur for the replies. I have taken NCmVoyeur's critism seriously. I had hoped to make the changes today but it seems my schedule became a lot more heavier than I had expected.

I have started fixing 'Morning' and will be resubmitting when done. As I have mentioned, although it is a poor excuse, this story was one of my earlier works. Either I didn't have the heart to touch it again or was just too lazy feeling that it did convey the feelings and thoughts clearly enough. Obviously, from the comments that it is a distraction.

I was also hoping that anyone reading the others stories would tell me if I've made an improvement. On whether or not I still do the same things or if the writing is more concise(?) and evoke more visuals and feelings.

Oh, and I'm not looking to please everyone. Just most everyone. LOL. Is that still too much?

Thank you The_bragis/Alex(fem) for answering the question on whether it is erotic. Now, if I can only get a guy to answer that question too. LOL. Oops, am I asking for too much again?

NCmVoyeur, my first critic. Please don't be embarrassed. I take all comments seriously because it obviously prompted some sort of action. Being somewhat lazy, I appreciate the effort someone takes in actually going through and doing something and answer. In this case, you went through my story and did what I asked -- criticized. And for that, I am very much appreciative. I also want to take it seriously because I AM trying to make it easier for the reader to understand/read my stories. So any help is a good thing.

I shouldn't say my works are stories since they do not contain a real plot or character development. I'll just call them fantasy scenes because they're just a slice of something. A moment really.

Again, I want to thank you both for replying. I appreciate the effort and the comments. I look forward to writing something better and erotic for you all to read.

Be well and safe,
Vic

 

[vic450]

Any Idea?

I guess I'm torturing myself but here are my latest stats:

Morning
Rating Votes Views
4.57.....14......3262

Phone Tease
Rating Votes Views
4.46.....13......2618

Picnic
Rating Votes Views
4.89.....9........3530

Rough Day
Rating Votes Views
4.67.....6........0

The Window
Rating Votes Views
4.50.....6........3003

Video Ch. 1
Rating Votes Views
4.37.....19......6302

Video Ch. 2
Rating Votes Views
4.40.....5........403

No new feedbacks. So, how many registered members of lit are there? Does anyone know? Again the number puzzles me. The couple of people that had sent me feed back and I've spoken with, only one has forwarded the link to the story 'Morning'. So it puzzles me that there are so many viewing 'Video ch. 1' vs the others and still no feed back. I guess it's partly because I want my ego stroked and partly cause I geniunely would like to hear from the casual reader.

As Vic is logging off, he still can't believe the number of views his lowest rated story is. Almost double his next highest viewed. Vic shakes his head on his way out. It's a mad mad (virtual) world.

As always, be well and safe,
Vic