Is it a new form? Annie strikes again!

[UnderYourSpell]

I don't know if it's a new form, someone like Lauren will have to check it out for me so as yet it is unnamed!

If you want to have a way with words
like poke and prick and fuck,
be very careful where you speak
and never ever chance your luck.
Fuck is a word I have to say
leads others by a long, long way.

When asking round about my friends
I've quite often heard them say
excitement levels rise four fold
with sexual matters coined this way.
Say what you want but easy now
Find just how much they will allow.

Not every generation frowns
but older ones, especially now,
find constant verbal fucks a sin
not quite the thing Dad does allow.
Now take your timing very slow
For on your ass you're sure to go.

Go way slow and now with luck
She may allow you to say fuck.

 

[butters]

I don't know if it's a new form, someone like Lauren will have to check it out for me so as yet it is unnamed!

If you want to have a way with words
like poke and prick and fuck,
be very careful where you speak
and never ever chance your luck.
Fuck is a word I have to say
leads others by a long, long way.

When asking round about my friends
I've quite often heard them say
excitement levels rise four fold
with sexual matters coined this way.
Say what you want but easy now
Find just how much they will allow.

Not every generation frowns
but older ones, especially now,
find constant verbal fucks a sin
not quite the thing Dad does allow.
Now take your timing very slow
For on your ass you're sure to go.

Go way slow and now with luck
She may allow you to say fuck.

bloody hell, annie

would you list us the 'rules' of this one, my head hurts. i see end rhymes and line reps but all in the one go it's hurting my brain


may i say fuck now?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

bloody hell, annie

would you list us the 'rules' of this one, my head hurts. i see end rhymes and line reps but all in the one go it's hurting my brain


may i say fuck now?

I tried to do it with a's and b's like Lauren did for survivor but I got awfully confused lol I'll try doing it with colour coding see if that's any easier ..... I doubt it tho!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Three sextets followed by a couplet. 2nd and 4th lines to rhyme and using the end word of line two to start line 5. The end words of lines 5 and 6 are the end rhymes for the next stanza. The couplet must use all these end words and also rhyme

If you want to have a way with words
like poke and prick and fuck,
be very careful where you speak
and never ever chance your luck.
Fuck is a word I have to say
leads others by a long, long way.

When asking round about my friends
I've quite often heard them say
excitement levels rise four fold
with sexual matters coined this way.
Say what you want but easy now
Find just how much they will allow.

Not every generation frowns
but older ones, especially now,
find constant verbal fucks a sin
not quite the thing Dad does allow.
Now take your timing very slow
For on your ass you're sure to go.

Go way slow and now with luck
She may allow you to say fuck.

 

[butters]

F***!!!!


you know i could never do the rubiks cube, right?


i have no idea if this is a new form; i have barely scratched the surface of those already out there. is there some site that might check this out for you?


ok, gotta get my butt into gear. laters, annie x

 

[UnderYourSpell]

F***!!!!


you know i could never do the rubiks cube, right?


i have no idea if this is a new form; i have barely scratched the surface of those already out there. is there some site that might check this out for you?


ok, gotta get my butt into gear. laters, annie x

I'll get on bended knee and ask Lauren again who researched it last time for me
oh and I couldn't do that damn cube either but this beats explaining it by aabc and baac AacB etc lol

 

[Lauren Hynde]

It looks like a sestina, but with three stanzas instead of six. It has a rhyming scheme, which none of the sestina-family forms has, and a closing couplet instead of a tercet, which is more than the tritina but without a defined order. I do believe that you have an original one here, Annie.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Yippeeeeeeee! Thank you I can give it a name now

 

[CharleyH]

Yippeeeeeeee! Thank you I can give it a name now

Happy to write one, so long as I understand the form. I am not sure I understand the form, though.

 

[butters]

Annie! well done if that is a new form you've found

and here's my offering - i hope i got the damned thing right though it's no fine poetry i took your instructions, using the colour key but used all red. once i worked out it was really only 8 words to work around, it started making a little more sense (like the rubik's cube would've been easy all one colour, right? lol)
my theme is PM's but it is entirely impersonal, just those sorts of PM's most posters get every now and again.

PM'ers

Sometimes they press too hard, too fast,
demanding further skin be shown;
this often makes us grow annoyed
and ends up with their chances blown.
Shown the shoulder, then the door
they trip, they slip, they kiss the floor.

Now every lady posting here
has an individual door;
and while it's true that some may squeak,
some have shag-pile on their floor.
Doors run the length of ladies' walls;
sometimes handprints in the halls.

It's better that you be yourself
if your intent's to paint her walls;
though if it's role-play you wear well
then look for gizmos in her halls.
Walls may block you, should you rush
as ladies, being ladies, blush.

Don't rush the door, no blush be shown;
halls, floors and walls? you'll be well-blown

 

[butters]

bumping for annie

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Happy to write one, so long as I understand the form. I am not sure I understand the form, though.

How can I help?

Annie! well done if that is a new form you've found

and here's my offering - i hope i got the damned thing right though it's no fine poetry i took your instructions, using the colour key but used all red. once i worked out it was really only 8 words to work around, it started making a little more sense (like the rubik's cube would've been easy all one colour, right? lol)
my theme is PM's but it is entirely impersonal, just those sorts of PM's most posters get every now and again.

PM's

Sometimes they press too hard, too fast,
demanding further skin be shown;
this often makes us grow annoyed
and ends up with their chances blown.
Shown the shoulder, then the door
they trip, they slip, they kiss the floor.

Now every lady posting here
has an individual door;
and while it's true that some may squeak,
some have shag-pile on their floor.
Doors run the length of ladies' walls;
sometimes handprints in the halls.

It's better that you be yourself
if your intent's to paint her walls;
though if it's role-play you wear well
then look for gizmos in her halls.
Walls may block you, should you rush
as ladies, being ladies, blush.

Don't rush the door, no blush be shown;
halls, floors and walls? you'll be well-blown

I think you've got your halls and walls on the wrong lines in stanza three. I had to keep checking back to my own but they need to be in the same order as the former stanza. Apart from that I am impressed

 

[butters]

oh poop, lol

 

[butters]

sorry, annie, i thought i was editing my own post. pardon me
i switched them about to make it right, but it's not so neat. ah well.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

No need for pooping lol I'm just chuffed anyone is having a go

 

[UnderYourSpell]

sorry, annie, i thought i was editing my own post. pardon me

Don't ask Charley what I said to her (twice!) when we did the group gunfight!

 

[butters]

okies, i'm off now. see you laters, taters

 

[greenmountaineer]

Changing the Calendars in his Workshop

Now that’s some Labor Day plumber!
No, not that one, this,
Laboring on her knees like that.
And that’s some strapping bodice
Miss September fairly bears,
Or I should say she barely wears.

Try as I might to work in my workshop,
I can’t. Jehovah! Any witness bears
The truth in that if he sees me now,
However much my guilty mind declares
Bewares or conjures nuns, eyesores
By comparison, or even smelly bus tours

Joan insisted on….but if Joan looked like that
When she labors with her chores,
Then the house would fall
Apart. We’d be naked on all fours
All day. The roof would leak;
Paint would peel; the bathroom reek;

Floors would squeak and stairs would creak, but bliss
Restores, and never errs, when it looks like this.

 

[butters]

brilliant poem, gm, and i'm sure most guys would prefer their plumbers to be dressed like that

i like the way you've played this one off the form, adapting to suit the voice of the poem and getting a stronger write than mine where i was playing jigsaws to fit the required elements of it!

 

[greenmountaineer]

brilliant poem, gm, and i'm sure most guys would prefer their plumbers to be dressed like that

i like the way you've played this one off the form, adapting to suit the voice of the poem and getting a stronger write than mine where i was playing jigsaws to fit the required elements of it!

Thanks. I thought I was following UYS's script, but it would not be the first time I thought that by mistake (e.g. "paradelle").

Not sure why these format challenges intrigue me; perhaps a subliminal regression to my poet infancy when I allowed them to rule me and felt more than once like they were wacking me in the woodshed for my own good.

 

[butters]

Thanks. I thought I was following UYS's script, but it would not be the first time I thought that by mistake (e.g. "paradelle").

Not sure why these format challenges intrigue me; perhaps a subliminal regression to my poet infancy when I allowed them to rule me and felt more than once like they were wacking me in the woodshed for my own good.

sorry, dude, i thought it was deliberate you shudda kept shtum, lol.

you were almost there, but the last words on each line of the couplets are meant to then end the lines 2 and 4 in the next verse, and the end word of line 2 makes the first word of line 5!

Now that’s some Labor Day plumber!
No, not that one, this,
Laboring on her knees like that.
And that’s some strapping bodice
Miss September fairly bears,
Or I should say she barely wears.

Try as I might to work in my workshop,
I can’t for all my stares.(bears)
Cheeks, the ones upon my face,
Blush the deepest red. Prayers,(wears)
Sbears, thoughts of nuns, eyesores
By comparison, or the wild outdoors,

 

[UnderYourSpell]

oops sorry have been busy will check it out tomorrow

 

[greenmountaineer]

sorry, dude, i thought it was deliberate you shudda kept shtum, lol.

you were almost there, but the last words on each line of the couplets are meant to then end the lines 2 and 4 in the next verse, and the end word of line 2 makes the first word of line 5!

I did an edit, based on your feedback. I think it's correct now. Surprisingly, I like the edited version better. For me, the more restricted the format is, the more difficult it is usually to develop the narrative in a poem.

Hope it passes muster.

PS: wanted to add an iamb to the penultimate line as in:

"Floors would squeak and stairs would creak, but bliss, ah bliss!
Restores, and never errs, when it looks like this."

thinking it would give a more definitive ending to the poem, but didn't dare, not knowing if it was allowable to use one of the required words twice in the ending couplet. UYS?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'm getting confused myself here but seeing as it is 1.40 am perhaps your'll forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't think your repeating the same words from the former stanza but I'll check again after some sleep!

 

[greenmountaineer]

I'm getting confused myself here but seeing as it is 1.40 am perhaps your'll forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't think your repeating the same words from the former stanza but I'll check again after some sleep!

You're right. (This is probably the reason that some of us [i.e., men] don't ask directions in the first place; we still don't get them right after they're explained to us.)

I'll take another look at it but am not sure I can reconstruct something.