Is is acceptable...

[Jenny _S]

For one to write, among you higher beings here in the AV, a fart story and get away with it?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Not only acceptable, it's desirable you go away with it. Get. One of the two.

 

[destinie21]

since when have we done what's acceptable.

 

[MathGirl]

For one to write, among you higher beings here in the AV, a fart story and get away with it?

Dear Jenny,
Finally! After my threads about four foot BMs and garderobes, there's no way I could do it. I'd love for someone else to take up the responsibility of starting discussions of lower intestinal subjects. Go for it. Especially if there's discussion of the exothermic combustion of methane at the exit portal.
Enthusiastically,
MG
Ps. Please keep it tasteful. Don't forget Perdita's delicate sensibilities.

 

[Jenny _S]

In that case...

How does on spell the sound of a fart?

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Is is acceptable...

Please keep it tasteful. Don't forget Perdita's delicate sensibilities.

Thanks for the warning, I'll be off then.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Re: In that case...

Originally posted by Jenny _S How does on spell the sound of a fart?

Dear J,
I would think most anything from "Brrrrrrrrttttttt" to "Fffluuuummmpperrrrummmppp" would be acceptable.
Onomatapoeically,
MG

 

[Jenny _S]

Ha!

You all thought this was just more of my usual insanity!

"Lori let Lance, always the gentleman, order for her as they sat across from each other, looking into each other’s eyes, lit only by a candle burning on the table between them. Then it happened. Lori could feel it coming and could do nothing to stop it. She clenched the muscles in her butt cheeks so hard she thought they would burst under the strain. But still there was a long escape. Fffffrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp.

In an attempt to cover up the faux pas Lori peered over her shoulder at the fat man for a moment and said to Lance, “Oh, how very rude!”

As the odiforisous cloud drifted upwards the candle glowed brighter and Lance’s nose began to wrinkle."

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Ha!

"Lori let Lance, "

Dear J,
Is that the same Lori who was elbow greasing the blusher on a while ago? Great character. Poor Lance.
MG

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Ha!

Dear J,
Is that the same Lori who was elbow greasing the blusher on a while ago? Great character. Poor Lance.
MG

Yes, MG
Same story I'm working on. I'm afraid Lance is in for a bit of and smelly evening.

 

[Jenny _S]

Now if I can just figure out how to get the smut in there before Lance passes out...

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Ha!

Originally posted by Jenny _S Same story I'm working on. I'm afraid Lance is in for a bit of and smelly evening.

Dear J,
Hell with the sex, concentrate on the farting. I like how you described the effect of the effluent on the candle flame. Methane exothermically deconstructs into harmless water and carbon dioxide, so you might stress the ecological aspects of the situation.
MG
Ps. Since L and L are out to dinner, will they be eating large amounts of legumes high in nonabsorbable carbohydrates? We all hope so. Cabbages and hard boiled eggs, too, please.
Pps. DurtGurl will be following this thread closely.

 

[Jenny _S]

I have in my mind a great cunnilingus scene, you know. (But in my mind Lance is wearing a gas mask)

 

[Quasimodem]

Now if I can just figure out how to get the smut in there before Lance passes out...

Why bother?

You could pioneer a whole new field of quasi-necrophilia . . . or would it be an exotic variation on Mind Control

As for the cunnilingus, since when does a guy have to be conscious to be persuaded?

 

[Jenny _S]

Why bother?

You could pioneer a whole new field of quasi-necrophilia . . . or would it be an exotic variation on Mind Control

As for the cunnilingus, since when does a guy have to be conscious to be persuaded?

Actually, Quasi,
Lori never gets any the way I have it outlined. I'm not quite sure what happens yet... either -

(a) Lance gets pissed and leaves, unconscious or something but she misses out...

(b) Or Lance is a farter too and she can't take it... either way she loses.

 

[Icingsugar]

I have in my mind a great cunnilingus scene, you know. (But in my mind Lance is wearing a gas mask)

Just how does that, technically, work?

 

[Jenny _S]

Just how does that, technically, work?

I don't know yet... that's another problem with writing this turkey.

 

[Quasimodem]

Just how does that, technically, work?

Erm . . . possibly a vibrator in the filter housing?

 

[Jenny _S]

Erm . . . possibly a vibrator in the filter housing?

I suppose if he were doing a good job and breathing through his ears he wouldn't really need a gas mask... But I like the image

 

[Quasimodem]

I suppose if he were doing a good job and breathing through his ears he wouldn't really need a gas mask... But I like the image

Gas mask ON or OFF . . . by THAT point breathing is only an OPTION.

 

[Icingsugar]

Gas mask ON or OFF . . . by THAT point breathing is only an OPTION.

Hyperventilate. Inhale. Dive in.

 

[oggbashan]

Don't forget to put it in the fetish category and add "fart" in the keywords.

There are some people out there who get turned on by a fart in the face.

Og

 

[gauchecritic]

Just so long as you don't wind the story up with, LANCE: "That's it I've had enough. I can't stand another 68 of those."

Gauche (who can't see the humour in farting)

 

[sweetnpetite]

Re: Re: In that case...

Dear J,
I would think most anything from "Brrrrrrrrttttttt" to "Fffluuuummmpperrrrummmppp" would be acceptable.
Onomatapoeically,
MG

My guess would be Thhhhhppppppppp!"

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

phwaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppt sounds about right to me honey.

we don't have too many problems with farting during sex, that hole's often plugged as well, oops!! he's got the classic three foot tongue and can breath through his ears anyway so a clothes peg does well while he's drinking out of the fluffy cup.