Is Homburg Actually Chuck Norris?

[unpredictablebijou]

We were talking this morning and realized that it's very likely that Homburg is actually Chuck Norris.

He works out like a maniac, takes care of his kids, has two lovely and devoted slaves, runs his own business, kicks ass at everything from gaming to shibari to religious philosophy, and still seems to find time to post some damned eloquent things around here on a very regular basis.

I bet he can even slam a revolving door.

And besides, it was too hard to find the "Ask Homburg's Cock" thread and revive it, which is what I usually do when I feel like poking the bear. That thread seems to be quite thoroughly buried, though I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

I hear Superman wears Homburg pajamas, and that the boogeyman checks under his bed for Homburg every night.

Just sayin'. Discuss.

 

[BiBunny]

Yes, yes, he is. I'm glad someone else is confirming what I've believed for quite some time.

 

[Keroin]

Homburg who?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I heard that Homburg CAN believe it's not butter. And that he can divide by zero. And that he knows where Waldo is.

 

[BiBunny]

I heard that Homburg CAN believe it's not butter. And that he can divide by zero. And that he knows where Waldo is.

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/twhrider13/divide_by_zero.jpg

 

[JMohegan]

I'm hardly a member of the Homburg Fan Club, but even so I see no reason to insult the guy by comparing him to Norris, a homophobic prick and scribe at World Net Daily.

 

[graceanne]

I'm hardly a member of the Homburg Fan Club, but even so I see no reason to insult the guy by comparing him to Norris, a homophobic prick and scribe at World Net Daily.

What he said.

 

[intothewoods]

We were talking this morning and realized that it's very likely that Homburg is actually Chuck Norris.

He works out like a maniac, takes care of his kids, has two lovely and devoted slaves, runs his own business, kicks ass at everything from gaming to shibari to religious philosophy, and still seems to find time to post some damned eloquent things around here on a very regular basis.

I bet he can even slam a revolving door.

And besides, it was too hard to find the "Ask Homburg's Cock" thread and revive it, which is what I usually do when I feel like poking the bear. That thread seems to be quite thoroughly buried, though I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

I hear Superman wears Homburg pajamas, and that the boogeyman checks under his bed for Homburg every night.

Just sayin'. Discuss.

Chuck Norris has a slave? Chuck Norris has two slaves?

I'm hardly a member of the Homburg Fan Club, but even so I see no reason to insult the guy by comparing him to Norris, a homophobic prick and scribe at World Net Daily.

Chuck Norris is a homophobe? I vaguely recall the Mike Huckabee ads, so I guess it's not a stretch.

 

[Keroin]

Chuck Norris has a slave? Chuck Norris has two slaves?

Chuck Norris is a homophobe? I vaguely recall the Mike Huckabee ads, so I guess it's not a stretch.

I don't know about the rest but he did have those truly codawful blue jeans he used to pimp. Remember those? They had an elastic crotch for "kickability".

Hm, maybe Hommy also has an elastic crotch?

 

[intothewoods]

I don't know about the rest but he did have those truly codawful blue jeans he used to pimp. Remember those? They had an elastic crotch for "kickability".

Hm, maybe Hommy also has an elastic crotch?

I am so not up on my Chuck Norris. He had that show, right? Walker Texas Ranger or something? Wasn't that him?

 

[Keroin]

I am so not up on my Chuck Norris. He had that show, right? Walker Texas Ranger or something? Wasn't that him?

Yeah, but before that he was Mr Martial Arts, starring in a bunch of bad movies.

I think he was the first big, white martial arts guy in film.

 

[JMohegan]

Chuck Norris is a homophobe? I vaguely recall the Mike Huckabee ads, so I guess it's not a stretch.

Below is a sample of his bile.


Lastly, I was appalled when I read the American Family Association report that on Friday, April 25, several thousand schools across the nation will be observing a "Day of Silence," or DOS, which is a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools. (DOS is sponsored by an activist homosexual group – the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.)

Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our forefathers expected for the public education they founded? Even the most liberal among them opposed it. For example, Thomas Jefferson drafted a bill concerning the criminal laws of Virginia, in which he proposed that the penalty for sexual deviance should be unique corporal punishment. Jefferson's views were indeed representative of early America.

"Whosoever shall be guilty of rape, polygamy, or sodomy with man or woman shall be punished, if a man, by castration, if a woman, by cutting thro' the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch diameter at the least" (Bill 64, 1779). Can you imagine a statesman proposing such a law today?

While I'm not of course espousing such treatment, I do believe that we should equally and adamantly oppose such aberrant sexual behavior from being condoned or commemorated in our public schools through textbooks or a so-called "Day of Silence."

You can check to see if your local schools are on the DOS observance list. Whether they are or not, write their administrators to inform them your family will be boycotting the event if it takes place in your vicinity.



ETA: For anyone unfamiliar with it, the Day of Silence is actually this.

 

[graceanne]

I never could stand Chuck Norris. My stepdad is a huge fan. I think he (chuck) is one of those guys who's really into how deep he is, and people like that annoy me.

For that matter, I can see why my step dad likes him. They're a lot alike.

 

[intothewoods]

Yeah, but before that he was Mr Martial Arts, starring in a bunch of bad movies.

I think he was the first big, white martial arts guy in film.

Oh yeah, that part I know, albeit vaguely. I just don't know much else about him.

Below is a sample of his bile.


Lastly, I was appalled when I read the American Family Association report that on Friday, April 25, several thousand schools across the nation will be observing a "Day of Silence," or DOS, which is a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools. (DOS is sponsored by an activist homosexual group – the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.)

Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our forefathers expected for the public education they founded? Even the most liberal among them opposed it. For example, Thomas Jefferson drafted a bill concerning the criminal laws of Virginia, in which he proposed that the penalty for sexual deviance should be unique corporal punishment. Jefferson's views were indeed representative of early America.

"Whosoever shall be guilty of rape, polygamy, or sodomy with man or woman shall be punished, if a man, by castration, if a woman, by cutting thro' the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch diameter at the least" (Bill 64, 1779). Can you imagine a statesman proposing such a law today?

While I'm not of course espousing such treatment, I do believe that we should equally and adamantly oppose such aberrant sexual behavior from being condoned or commemorated in our public schools through textbooks or a so-called "Day of Silence."

You can check to see if your local schools are on the DOS observance list. Whether they are or not, write their administrators to inform them your family will be boycotting the event if it takes place in your vicinity.



ETA: For anyone unfamiliar with it, the Day of Silence is actually this.

Huh, douche.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

No no no. Not the ACTUAL Chuck Norris. The MEME Chuck Norris.

Here.

And try this too. Sheesh.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

No no no. Not the ACTUAL Chuck Norris. The MEME Chuck Norris.

Here.

And try this too. Sheesh.

Fixored the linkor.



PS: I love Chuck Norris facts. We also have an Aussie rip off, Barry 'The Cougar' Dawson, who can also pull of several Crocodile Dundee-esque moves

 

[JMohegan]

CN satirical facts would be much funnier if they mocked the actor's homophobia.

"Chuck Norris is so scared of gay people, he ......"

Endless possibilities there.

 

[Homburg]

*facepalm*


(Very lightly, because my own CN-like palm hitting my face could cause a.... etc etc etc)

 

[unpredictablebijou]

CN satirical facts would be much funnier if they mocked the actor's homophobia.

"Chuck Norris is so scared of gay people, he ......"

Endless possibilities there.

Well, by all means, go there. The actual Chuck Norris is terribly offended by the meme Chuck Norris. Happily, he can't stop the meme, despite various attempts at lawsuits and such.

my genuine apologies if I offended anyone; I was just trying to fill a boring afternoon. I do have a service which can rent out a sense of humor for anyone who feels that they have lost theirs temporarily. It seems to have been a rough week for a number of folks.

I heard there is no actual spring. The season changes because Homburg gets tired of winter and it runs away.

 

[intothewoods]

Well, by all means, go there. The actual Chuck Norris is terribly offended by the meme Chuck Norris. Happily, he can't stop the meme, despite various attempts at lawsuits and such.

my genuine apologies if I offended anyone; I was just trying to fill a boring afternoon. I do have a service which can rent out a sense of humor for anyone who feels that they have lost theirs temporarily. It seems to have been a rough week for a number of folks.

I heard there is no actual spring. The season changes because Homburg gets tired of winter and it runs away.

He tried to sue? Oh, I promise to spend some time googling all of this. I'm usually up on useless tidbits of pop culture, but I can't remember this one at all.

 

[Keroin]

Well, by all means, go there. The actual Chuck Norris is terribly offended by the meme Chuck Norris. Happily, he can't stop the meme, despite various attempts at lawsuits and such.

my genuine apologies if I offended anyone; I was just trying to fill a boring afternoon. I do have a service which can rent out a sense of humor for anyone who feels that they have lost theirs temporarily. It seems to have been a rough week for a number of folks.

I heard there is no actual spring. The season changes because Homburg gets tired of winter and it runs away.

I seem to recall a post of mine, made not too long ago, wherein I mentioned that the folks from the poetry discussion board were as intelligent and witty as those in the BDSM forum...but also a lot nicer and more inclusive.

Yeah, things can be a bit uptight here, sometimes. And JM, he's a literalist - and I don't mean that in a bad way, just a statement of facts. Don't sweat it, Bijou, it's all good.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Heh. Some of my best friends are literalists. And thank you.

I heard the real chuck norris is so scared of gay people his asshole can make diamonds out of coal.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Hehe.

Oh, Chuck Norris. When will you break the nose of our troubled culture, and send our national torpor flying through plate glass?

 

[JMohegan]

Well, by all means, go there. The actual Chuck Norris is terribly offended by the meme Chuck Norris. Happily, he can't stop the meme, despite various attempts at lawsuits and such.

my genuine apologies if I offended anyone; I was just trying to fill a boring afternoon. I do have a service which can rent out a sense of humor for anyone who feels that they have lost theirs temporarily. It seems to have been a rough week for a number of folks.

I heard there is no actual spring. The season changes because Homburg gets tired of winter and it runs away.

A "genuine apology" followed by an insult is neither genuine nor an apology. But you knew that, right?

Regardless, there's no need to apologize to me for the original post of this thread. However you spin the meme is up to you.

Just FYI, though - from reference #2 at the wiki link you posted - Norris says:


"Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of 'Chuck Norris Facts.' It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career.

While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most 'Chuck Norris Facts' describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They're describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It's not me."


.... followed by a discussion of God, the Bible, and Jesus.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

A "genuine apology" followed by an insult is neither genuine nor an apology. But you knew that, right?

Regardless, there's no need to apologize to me for the original post of this thread. However you spin the meme is up to you.

Just FYI, though - from reference #2 at the wiki link you posted - Norris says:


"Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of 'Chuck Norris Facts.' It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career.

While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most 'Chuck Norris Facts' describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They're describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It's not me."


.... followed by a discussion of God, the Bible, and Jesus.

I'm quite aware of all of that. I've read the Wiki entry and a bunch of other stuff about the phenomenon. Really. This was never about Chuck Norris, the actual dude.

Not an insult. A JOKE. J-O-K-E. Generally defined as something intended to lighten the mood or make someone laugh. Didn't work, obviously. My bad.

eta: If it would make you feel better, we could start a thread about how much we all hate Chuck Norris, but that's really not my style. Anything to amuse...