Is Femdom real?

[Subbalubbadubdub]

OK this is a duplicate post...but i wasn't sure where to stick it (no pun intended)

I just logged on to chat and saw some comments in the "femdom" room about the "perverts" there who turn women into a list of fetishes, and who think they're doing the women a favor by "letting" themselves get flogged / pegged / idk...shit on?

i wanted to say thank you for saying something that needed to be said. Taking the time to find out what a woman (or whoever your partner is) wants is the only way to a lasting relationship.

But it got me thinking...

Is Femdom just a category on Pornhub? Are there women who really LIKE to sexually dominate men? I remember watching a sitcom (an episode of Weeds, i think) where one of the characters got pegged by his new girlfriend. It was the first time i ever saw a strapon, but now they get mentioned all the time - on shows, in podcasts, in mainstream articles online).

For me, most of the joy i get from women is from making them smile - in the bedroom or out. If She's not enjoying it, i'm not enjoying it. Which is why i'm currently a service sub...meaning that i enjoy completing projects (painting, cleaning, repairs) or errands for my Mistress. I've also done some programming and web design. All of this is NSA, because that's what i signed up for. i asked Her if she was looking for a sub and She said that She needed some NSA house work done. i accepted, knowing it would always be that way because i enjoy seeing Her smile.

That being said, i would like to find a a d/s relationship where my girlfriend / wife / significant other would, at least occasionally, take the upper hand in the bedroom as well as out.

i've been married once, engaged twice and have dated a lot. i only discovered a few years ago that i enjoy being submissive. Prior to that EVERY sexual relationship i've had has included some d/s play. But it was always (with one notable exception) with me on top. Almost every woman i've known (including one pro-domme) has enjoyed being dominated by a man. i once went for a session with a domme and ended up tying Her up and spanking Her. She complained when i stopped.

So i list myself as a switch. Because i love women. i enjoy making them happy when i can. But i also wish there were more dominant women out there. i've never been pegged (i'm not sure i'd even enjoy it). And i've only been properly whipped tied and flogged once (yes i paid for it). I've never paid for sex, but i couldn't resist when i found a website for a local domme after a simple Google search.

But paying for it also took the fun out of it. i'm not judging the domme. She was amazing and i would really enjoy getting to know Her as a friend. i'm just saying that if what you WANT is for someone to take control, starting the "relationship" by buying Her time and telling Her what YOU want is out of character. Like cheating at sports - you only look like you've won.

i want someone to WANT to beat me...is that so wrong?

And does She exist? I'm sure there are a few out there, but it's gotta be a lonely world for the die hard submissives out there.

And do we need to be kink shaming the "perverts" who just want some nice lady to slap them across the face and then spit in their mouth as they stand there staring?

So my question is this? Is Femdom a passing fad? Is it something that only happens in porn? Like Bukkkake or fisting or gangbangs? Sure, they happen...but not to everyone and not all the time.

Or are women becoming more demanding in the bedroom? Do more of them want to lock up their boyfriend's cock and wear an ankle bracelet with an Ace of Spades pendant so that everyone else knows that She's taking it from whoever she wants? Or are most wives (hot as they may be) happy that they only have to worry about one "pervert"s needs?

Let me know what you think, lit folks? Should i keep logging on to the Femdom room, or is it always just going to be seven dudes and one woman who's wondering why She came into the Femdom room

 

[FL30]

Go to the BDSM forum section. You'll have better luck there.

You can also do a search for BDSM clubs in your area on google or bing

there are lots of people that are actually into BDSM but they're NOT out in the open as much as it's still looked down on by mainstream society.

I have a work associate that is actually gay and is a slave to a master

there are even BDSM conventions that you can attend, as well. they have all sorts of workshops that you can attend to learn more about the lifestyle.

You can find them on google, as well

you could also join FetLife

 

[Goldenfinger]

It is and it encompasses a wide range. But I hear about this in two different ways. One a tru dominant women that controls her partner. The second is control from the bottom. Which is you finding a partner who is willing to do what you want to you. What fun is that.

 

[SissySalina]

Nothing happens to everyone or all the time. You need to completely define what you are looking for and what you consider Femdom to yourself. It is many things to different people, if you just want a woman to take control then that is easy but if you want a woman to take control in the way you want it then that may be hard (no pun). Women have been controlling for centuries, men just think they have been because the woman let him think that way.

 

[littlecordelera]

I joined Literotica in 2013 at the (constant) prodding of my husband who wanted me to post one of my stories (That story has since been removed). It was the first time I had ever been to a "sex website" with the exception of sex-dating websites (Ashley Madison, etc.). I got involved in these forums and other online venues about sex, and over time, many people commented that I was "femdom." Up until then, I never saw myself that way. I have pegged my husband on more than one occasion, paddled guys, tied them up, I have riding crops, leashes, handcuffs, all those things, BUT....I don't go looking for submissive boys, I don't wear black leather (except for belts and boots), and I still don't consider myself BDSM. I don't go to BDSM websites or threads or anything of the sort.

Maybe other women are like me. And maybe you are looking in all the wrong places.

 

[drobert44]

Go to the BDSM forum section. You'll have better luck there.

You can also do a search for BDSM clubs in your area on google or bing

there are lots of people that are actually into BDSM but they're NOT out in the open as much as it's still looked down on by mainstream society.

I have a work associate that is actually gay and is a slave to a master

there are even BDSM conventions that you can attend, as well. they have all sorts of workshops that you can attend to learn more about the lifestyle.

You can find them on google, as well

you could also join FetLife

Lots of CD's on Fet, good site to find them.........and BDSM too

 

[policywank]

OK this is a duplicate post...but i wasn't sure where to stick it (no pun intended)

I just logged on to chat and saw some comments in the "femdom" room about the "perverts" there who turn women into a list of fetishes, and who think they're doing the women a favor by "letting" themselves get flogged / pegged / idk...shit on?

i wanted to say thank you for saying something that needed to be said. Taking the time to find out what a woman (or whoever your partner is) wants is the only way to a lasting relationship.

But it got me thinking...

Is Femdom just a category on Pornhub? Are there women who really LIKE to sexually dominate men? I remember watching a sitcom (an episode of Weeds, i think) where one of the characters got pegged by his new girlfriend. It was the first time i ever saw a strapon, but now they get mentioned all the time - on shows, in podcasts, in mainstream articles online).

For me, most of the joy i get from women is from making them smile - in the bedroom or out. If She's not enjoying it, i'm not enjoying it. Which is why i'm currently a service sub...meaning that i enjoy completing projects (painting, cleaning, repairs) or errands for my Mistress. I've also done some programming and web design. All of this is NSA, because that's what i signed up for. i asked Her if she was looking for a sub and She said that She needed some NSA house work done. i accepted, knowing it would always be that way because i enjoy seeing Her smile.

That being said, i would like to find a a d/s relationship where my girlfriend / wife / significant other would, at least occasionally, take the upper hand in the bedroom as well as out.

i've been married once, engaged twice and have dated a lot. i only discovered a few years ago that i enjoy being submissive. Prior to that EVERY sexual relationship i've had has included some d/s play. But it was always (with one notable exception) with me on top. Almost every woman i've known (including one pro-domme) has enjoyed being dominated by a man. i once went for a session with a domme and ended up tying Her up and spanking Her. She complained when i stopped.

So i list myself as a switch. Because i love women. i enjoy making them happy when i can. But i also wish there were more dominant women out there. i've never been pegged (i'm not sure i'd even enjoy it). And i've only been properly whipped tied and flogged once (yes i paid for it). I've never paid for sex, but i couldn't resist when i found a website for a local domme after a simple Google search.

But paying for it also took the fun out of it. i'm not judging the domme. She was amazing and i would really enjoy getting to know Her as a friend. i'm just saying that if what you WANT is for someone to take control, starting the "relationship" by buying Her time and telling Her what YOU want is out of character. Like cheating at sports - you only look like you've won.

i want someone to WANT to beat me...is that so wrong?

And does She exist? I'm sure there are a few out there, but it's gotta be a lonely world for the die hard submissives out there.

And do we need to be kink shaming the "perverts" who just want some nice lady to slap them across the face and then spit in their mouth as they stand there staring?

So my question is this? Is Femdom a passing fad? Is it something that only happens in porn? Like Bukkkake or fisting or gangbangs? Sure, they happen...but not to everyone and not all the time.

Or are women becoming more demanding in the bedroom? Do more of them want to lock up their boyfriend's cock and wear an ankle bracelet with an Ace of Spades pendant so that everyone else knows that She's taking it from whoever she wants? Or are most wives (hot as they may be) happy that they only have to worry about one "pervert"s needs?

Let me know what you think, lit folks? Should i keep logging on to the Femdom room, or is it always just going to be seven dudes and one woman who's wondering why She came into the Femdom room

For the foreseeable future the ratio of Sub males to Dom females will favour the females, probably by a lot. Your 2nd sentence is interesting in that it sort of refers to men being submissive yet selfish in how they see their role. I don't know if they are truly being submissive if they think that they are the ones doing all the giving.

I often think of Dom and Sub roles as being somewhat analogous to leader and follower roles. In political parlance leaders serve their followers. The role comes with the necessary powers and responsibilities, but it is not license to be purely selfish (that is called a tyrant not a leader). Nor does the role involve obligation to act at the whim of her followers. There is a power dynamic that serves both parties and through it each party serves the other. When I flog a Sub we both enjoy it. I am not subjugating him against his will, but nor am I a disinterested party simply doing him a favour. There may be times where one of us is giving or taking a little more satisfaction, but overall we are both playing the role we want to play.

Binding a Sub, spanking him mercilessly then pegging him is a special experience for both of us. He wants it and he loves it so it is absurd to imagine that he is doing me a favour. Why would I want to force that upon a man against his will? Meanwhile his enjoyment is intricately tied up in knowing that I enjoy it too - for its own sake and because I know he enjoys it. It is a feedback loop that affirms itself. In my mind any personal relationship is built on the premise that both partners want to be part of the relationship for their own unique reasons. The different roles don't mean one is intrinsically serving the other in a one way street sort of way.

Perhaps a trie sports analogy. Are players doing their coach a favour by showing up for games and heeding his instructions? Is the coach doing the players a favour by providing direction? No to both. Each party is playing the role that he/she wants to play and reinforcing the role that the other plays.

Yes I do WANT to flog my Sub. But it isn't because I am a sadistic bitch. It is because I know he WANTS to be flogged. The psychology around it is complex but we both know it to be true.