Is fantasy your pseudo reality?

[piccicatopolka]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Mine are simple things like wearing silly clothing in public, or little to no clothing a lot of the time. It would be great to really say what was on my mind when I find someone attractive and see where it leads right away. I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is. If it weren't for the constraints of society's judgement I think I would actually be a quite different person.

 

[SithLord13]

Even on a non sexual way, I've always wanted to be a rock star, so I took steps to become one. Started learning guitar, and styling my hair in different ways, getting tattooed, and buying rocker clothes and wearing makeup in public. So at first it was fantasy role playing but as I got a music career it transformed from fantasy into a reality. It all comes down to how bad do you want it and are you willing to put forth the effort into making it so?

 

[Licia]

The hubs came to me with a confession. A truth which any man might fear to speak to his wife: "I am sexually attracted to other women. I worry about my fantasies because they keep growing." My quiet chuckle assured him he was normal. "I've known that since I met you. No biggie." Is that an edit? Yep. The entire story could be a novel. Condensed soup sucks, I know.

Anyway...

Me sadist who loves to make fantasy reality regardless of the shape of the dream.

I've started a local bdsm group, and I am working to make real life connections into the sub-culture, whatever that really means. Why did I start one? The simple answer: I have made a vow--take action against the mistreatment of women. Take action against oppression. Be colorblind, and pay no heed to the rules on class or creed.

People will judge me. I simply do not care. *shrugs* What are they going to do? Make me a martyr? *chuckles*

If you saw me in public, you would never guess me by my threads. I dress weather appropriate: tank top and shorts if it's blistering hot. Eskimo if it's freezing. I wear gifts from the heart on my fingers, and people have wrongly assumed me money rich.

What they are are heirlooms and sentimental representations of the love my family has given me. Handme downs and a few additions, the lot. None of our women will ever have to sell their bodies if all hell breaks loose in private life. My paternal grandma kept a red (her terminology, not mine) secret bank account in the event that she had to divorce my grandpa. They never divorced; nevertheless, grandpa was shocked by the reveal. Twas the nature of societal culture in her time.

Much to the chagrin to some of my local society, I took a public stance against racial and sexual orientation taboo. When the shit started hitting the fan a few of us took action to prevent erruption, and in the end I kissed the cheek of a black man who wants to move away from urban hell. I also kissed the same sex lips of a nomadic white sister. Will I sleep with her? No, we understand one another. Will I spank her? *chuckles* We did that, too. And, yeah, she *is* smokin' hot. Meh, I even cockblocked per request, but I still listened to a best friend whisper. "This is okay right now."

I am active in my disjointed local community; always have, always will. Expecting perfection is asking more than I can give, but I will try.

 

[piccicatopolka]

Even on a non sexual way, I've always wanted to be a rock star, so I took steps to become one. Started learning guitar, and styling my hair in different ways, getting tattooed, and buying rocker clothes and wearing makeup in public. So at first it was fantasy role playing but as I got a music career it transformed from fantasy into a reality. It all comes down to how bad do you want it and are you willing to put forth the effort into making it so?

Cool ~ I hope you're getting gigs. We can all rock even if we're not super big stars. Good for you to accept being judged by others based on your appearance.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is.

I understand the conflict but I think Heinlein was right.

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert A. Heinlein

Why can't a lady have more than one name, like a cat? Doesn't she still know her true name (who she is to her) and at certain moments has no thought for the outside world?

But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

T S Elliot

 

[piccicatopolka]

The hubs came to me with a confession. A truth which any man might fear to speak to his wife: "I am sexually attracted to other women. I worry about my fantasies because they keep growing." My quiet chuckle assured him he was normal. "I've known that since I met you. No biggie."
<snip>
Me sadist who loves to make fantasy reality regardless of the shape of the dream. I've started a local bdsm group, and I am working to make real life connections into the sub-culture.
<snip>
People will judge me. I simply do not care. *shrugs* What are they going to do? Make me a martyr? *chuckles*
<snip>
If you saw me in public, you would never guess me by my threads.

Interesting balance you've created to be more like your real self. Grandma was a realist and I wonder if that was really a surprise to Grandpa. And I wouldn't normally lump BDSM into preventing abuse against women. That's a new idea to ponder and in some ways I disagree but I get it and accept you peacefully regardless.

For some of you that don't know; I'm a professional Gypsy. Meaning that I perform music and dance of the Rom people and used to be more of a bellydancer. Coming out with the term Gypsy brings some interesting and sometimes mildly negative reactions. Americans come across as pretty uneducated about the whole thing along with the somewhat valid stereotypes and also some vivid romantic notions. The current TV shows about modern Gypsies certainly hasn't helped. So no; I'm not a "Traveler" and yes I'm partly Rom but we're all mixed. No one can genuinely claim to be full Romani though there may be some I guess.

 

[piccicatopolka]

Why can't a lady have more than one name, like a cat?

Very good! And I actually have four names that people use for the many me's. I use my full birth name for legal and professional purposes, but my closest family members call me my childhood nickname from that. In character form I use my sull fist and middle name the way my Sicilian family used to say it and I also have a spiritual name given to me by my guru. Lots of people from that era of my life and dance career use my spiritual name. Some of them don't even know my legal name at all.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Mine are simple things like wearing silly clothing in public, or little to no clothing a lot of the time. It would be great to really say what was on my mind when I find someone attractive and see where it leads right away. I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is. If it weren't for the constraints of society's judgement I think I would actually be a quite different person.

Youre always who you really are, the problem is you dont like who you really are. Blame your genes.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Most of my fantasies have been fulfilled.

I have spent the majority of my formative years exploring~BDSM, queerness, cross dressing.

I always mean what I say and say exactly what I mean. I dress the way I want, depending on my moods. You can find me in leather, lace, vinyl, denim, tee shirts, torn tulle, velvet.

I am a mess and I don't care.

In my humble opinion, if I think on it for long enough, I should go ahead and do it. If I went ahead and did it...and liked it...then I should probably keep it. Therefore, most of my more perverse thoughts NEVER stay in the realm of fantasy for long.

Why should they? LONG before I knew what SSC or RACK meant, I was working it into my own personal fantasies and needs.

for the unaware SSC is Safe, Sane, Consensual.
RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I usta tell my clients, EVERY BOX OF CRACKER JACK COMES WITH A DIFFERENT PRIZE. ENJOY YOUR'S CUZ ITS THE ONLY PRIZE YOU GET.

There is no such baloney as NOT THE REAL ME. People always mean, THE ME I LIKE IS THE REAL ME. ITS ALL YOU, BABY!

 

[parodyluvr75]

Very good! And I actually have four names that people use for the many me's.

Ahead of the game and the answer to your own question.

 

[bronzeage]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Mine are simple things like wearing silly clothing in public, or little to no clothing a lot of the time. It would be great to really say what was on my mind when I find someone attractive and see where it leads right away. I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is. If it weren't for the constraints of society's judgement I think I would actually be a quite different person.

Been there, done that, learned a good lesson from the experience.

Some things make better fantasy than reality.

 

[Licia]

Interesting balance you've created to be more like your real self. Grandma was a realist and I wonder if that was really a surprise to Grandpa. And I wouldn't normally lump BDSM into preventing abuse against women. That's a new idea to ponder and in some ways I disagree but I get it and accept you peacefully regardless.

*snippage*

Why should they? LONG before I knew what SSC or RACK meant, I was working it into my own personal fantasies and needs.

for the unaware SSC is Safe, Sane, Consensual.
RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink

^ This.

Oceans seperate the difference between abuse and substyle. The hubs and I have been here, here and here. We're Yellow now.

Yeah, her rational mindset confused him. He is sorta lost without her: health failing, the family looks after him.

For some of you that don't know; I'm a professional Gypsy. Meaning that I perform music and dance of the Rom people and used to be more of a bellydancer. Coming out with the term Gypsy brings some interesting and sometimes mildly negative reactions. Americans come across as pretty uneducated about the whole thing along with the somewhat valid stereotypes and also some vivid romantic notions. The current TV shows about modern Gypsies certainly hasn't helped. So no; I'm not a "Traveler" and yes I'm partly Rom but we're all mixed. No one can genuinely claim to be full Romani though there may be some I guess.

*grins*

I don't have basic cable. The bolded is a thought I share as well.

 

[sunandshadow]

Somewhere between middle school and high school I came up with the idea that I wanted to become a famous and admired creator of artistic entertainments. More specifically, I wanted to be a novelist. At that point there were lots of people around who encouraged me to take steps toward my dream; my parents sent me to summer creative writing camp, a guidance counselor helped me apply to the governor's school for the arts, the political people behind that provided money for housing, food, and teaching staff which added up to a wonderful educational experience that was like living in an artist's commune for 5 weeks. I did things myself too, of course - I wrote fiction, and read theory about how to write fiction, and analyzed the fiction I was reading as well as that I was writing.

It was a foregone conclusion by the people around me that I would go to college, but I was the one who chose my courses and tolerated the requirement to live with a stranger as a roommate (I loathe having a roommate) and fought through the obnoxious pre-req courses like calculus and college English (i.e. how to write a paper pretending you have an opinion on something you don't). I went and joined the college book club and literary magazine. I realized that in terms of writing craft my huge weak point was plot, so I did everything I could to try to come to a better understanding of what plot was and how to create it. I also realized that novels weren't the only possibility - a high-quality video game or an anime series or a graphic novel might be something worth doing too. So I also put work into practicing my drawing, learning how to write script format, and a failed attempt at learning how to program. I also endured living on a small fixed income with no car and no likelihood of getting any influx of money anytime soon; your typical starving artist.

But, the more mature I got, the less support and encouragement I got from anyone. I started to get the feeling that I was like a dog that had outgrown its cute puppy phase; no one was actually eager to consume my creations, they had only found it pleasant to encourage teenage-me to follow my artistic dreams because that's what one does with teenagers full of potential. Adults who have used their potential to choose a path (not a particularly popular one) are considerably less charming. I talked to other writers, and found out that many of them didn't do it because they loved reading, but instead because they had a compulsive need to write, which they themselves considered a minor mental disorder. For myself, I found that writing something other would find worth reading didn't come naturally, and wasn't in fact fun. If I was going to be working my ass off anyway, I really should have been doing something that paid better.

The idea of being a writer is so ingrained in me that it would be very hard to stop feeling guilty when I don't write any fiction for a few weeks, stop imagining myself sitting on a panel at a convention with my book propped up in front of me, my advice lapped up by a respectful audience. I suppose I could call myself a "recovering writer", like a recovering alcoholic, recovering christian, or recovering homophobe. It's not a place I'm happy to be, but I don't see anywhere better to go from here; what I really want is to be praised, admired, and paid, but I see no path to go there.

 

[desertslave]

I'm living my wildest fantasy. I'm a submissive who lives with the dominant of her dreams, and we work on our mutual kinks together. I serve him, he watches over me, and we're crazy about each other. The rest of the time I make art and he encourages me.

These days my biggest fantasy is getting my near-adult offspring through college and into lives of their own.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Somewhere between middle school and high school I came up with the idea that I wanted to become a famous and admired creator of artistic entertainments. More specifically, I wanted to be a novelist. At that point there were lots of people around who encouraged me to take steps toward my dream; my parents sent me to summer creative writing camp, a guidance counselor helped me apply to the governor's school for the arts, the political people behind that provided money for housing, food, and teaching staff which added up to a wonderful educational experience that was like living in an artist's commune for 5 weeks. I did things myself too, of course - I wrote fiction, and read theory about how to write fiction, and analyzed the fiction I was reading as well as that I was writing.

It was a foregone conclusion by the people around me that I would go to college, but I was the one who chose my courses and tolerated the requirement to live with a stranger as a roommate (I loathe having a roommate) and fought through the obnoxious pre-req courses like calculus and college English (i.e. how to write a paper pretending you have an opinion on something you don't). I went and joined the college book club and literary magazine. I realized that in terms of writing craft my huge weak point was plot, so I did everything I could to try to come to a better understanding of what plot was and how to create it. I also realized that novels weren't the only possibility - a high-quality video game or an anime series or a graphic novel might be something worth doing too. So I also put work into practicing my drawing, learning how to write script format, and a failed attempt at learning how to program. I also endured living on a small fixed income with no car and no likelihood of getting any influx of money anytime soon; your typical starving artist.

But, the more mature I got, the less support and encouragement I got from anyone. I started to get the feeling that I was like a dog that had outgrown its cute puppy phase; no one was actually eager to consume my creations, they had only found it pleasant to encourage teenage-me to follow my artistic dreams because that's what one does with teenagers full of potential. Adults who have used their potential to choose a path (not a particularly popular one) are considerably less charming. I talked to other writers, and found out that many of them didn't do it because they loved reading, but instead because they had a compulsive need to write, which they themselves considered a minor mental disorder. For myself, I found that writing something other would find worth reading didn't come naturally, and wasn't in fact fun. If I was going to be working my ass off anyway, I really should have been doing something that paid better.

The idea of being a writer is so ingrained in me that it would be very hard to stop feeling guilty when I don't write any fiction for a few weeks, stop imagining myself sitting on a panel at a convention with my book propped up in front of me, my advice lapped up by a respectful audience. I suppose I could call myself a "recovering writer", like a recovering alcoholic, recovering christian, or recovering homophobe. It's not a place I'm happy to be, but I don't see anywhere better to go from here; what I really want is to be praised, admired, and paid, but I see no path to go there.

The path to most dreams is simple, really. Do what you did when you were a child. And what kids do is plot and scheme and imagine and beg and work for opportunities to do what they love. Kids find ways to do what they love; money, fame, admiration are no part of the joy.

 

[warrior queen]

I want to answer, but honestly I am not sure of the question.
Are you asking about sex, or are you asking about general life?

If I were to answer about both, I would have to say that everything has turned out rather different to the fantasies of my childhood and twenties. Not worse, not better, different.

If you're asking about 'self', then I would say that I am as real as I could possibly be. I don't fantasize that I am something I am not.
I endeavour to be as genuine in every moment as I am able, and I never indulge in 'what if' scenarios.

 

[BgMma]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Mine are simple things like wearing silly clothing in public, or little to no clothing a lot of the time. It would be great to really say what was on my mind when I find someone attractive and see where it leads right away. I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is. If it weren't for the constraints of society's judgement I think I would actually be a quite different person.

honestly, I would LOVE to get away with some of the things in which I fantasize, but, some of those fantasies are just so wrong.

 

[piccicatopolka]

In the laaaaand of the freeee... and the home of the brave!

Some of us would have to be pretty damn brave to be all the way out sexually or in general life living. For the sake of my kid's I'm as genuine as I can be without being so out there that they are judged for having a "weird" parent. And my career certainly expects a type of dress and professionalism so its not a surprise that I enjoy being a performer in my spare time.

And yes; some fantasies are better left as just that.

 

[Bert Notorius]

That place only exists at 5:30 am, for a few, brief seconds.

Still, I'm capable of fantasy, like, right now, I'm fantasizing about falling asleep with my face between Diane Lane's breasts. There is no reality component.

It's better that way, for everyone involved.

Reality is where the grown-ups live.

 

[SithLord13]

Cool ~ I hope you're getting gigs. We can all rock even if we're not super big stars. Good for you to accept being judged by others based on your appearance.

I've been playing in bands since I was 15, and been semi pro for quite awhile. My biggest break came 6 years ago when I got a gig with a known international heavy metal act and spent 10 weeks playing a 40 date tour across the country. Never thought that everything I dreamed would be handed to me on a plate. It was everything I wanted it to be as well as the hardest work too. I may never sell a million albums or win a grammy, but I'm satisfied with what I have.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Do you say, "Oh its just a fantasy; no big deal." to cover that you wish you could really get away with it? If there were no laws, morals, or serious physical and emotional injuries to cope with, you probably wish that you really could explore that big kink. How far have you gone to MAKE IT SO?

Mine are simple things like wearing silly clothing in public, or little to no clothing a lot of the time. It would be great to really say what was on my mind when I find someone attractive and see where it leads right away. I feel like a conformist so much of the time that I start to wonder who the real me is. If it weren't for the constraints of society's judgement I think I would actually be a quite different person.

Is this like Retard_Ruse obsession with pedophilia?

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

Wow. This thread is pretty deep and ponderous.

 

[slave_]

I always mean what I say and say exactly what I mean. I dress the way I want, depending on my moods. You can find me in leather, lace, vinyl, denim, tee shirts, torn tulle, velvet.

*sigh* OH the visuals of you in ANY mode of dress or undress!

I am a mess and I don't care.

In my humble opinion, if I think on it for long enough, I should go ahead and do it. If I went ahead and did it...and liked it...then I should probably keep it. Therefore, most of my more perverse thoughts NEVER stay in the realm of fantasy for long.

...and one of the many reasons why I find you so beautiful and amazing. Your wonderful mind and your desire to bring them to fruition.

 

[1HF]

Most of my fantasies have been fulfilled.

I have spent the majority of my formative years exploring~BDSM, queerness, cross dressing.

I always mean what I say and say exactly what I mean. I dress the way I want, depending on my moods. You can find me in leather, lace, vinyl, denim, tee shirts, torn tulle, velvet.

I am a mess and I don't care.

In my humble opinion, if I think on it for long enough, I should go ahead and do it. If I went ahead and did it...and liked it...then I should probably keep it. Therefore, most of my more perverse thoughts NEVER stay in the realm of fantasy for long.

Why should they? LONG before I knew what SSC or RACK meant, I was working it into my own personal fantasies and needs.

for the unaware SSC is Safe, Sane, Consensual.
RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink

Still waiting for our visit

You are wonderful.

As for the thread.. There are some fantasies I haven't lived out, some I'd like to stay just fantasies, and some I've already experienced.

I'm wonderfully happy with life right now and don't wish anything different. As for our sex life, we don't fall into any particular roles.. We do what works for us.