Is Fantasy the New Reality?

[mikey1234]

Do you think that fantasy has taken over for reality?
I mean is it more pleasurable to think it and talk it than it is to do it?
There is an obvious closet safety in fantasy, but how many on here honestly have or want to live out their fantasy?
The key word here is"honestly".
Would you..........could you?
Or are you living in cyber world one moment and in the illusion the next?
Perhaps this is life in the 21st century and a glimpse into future mind over body lust affairs.

 

[analgirl69]

Interesting. Yes, the thought of what I am doing is sometimes better than the act itself. (throat fucking, hard anal, spanking, anal fisting, hair pulling, etc..)
You asked for honesty..well, honestly..sometimes when I am engaged in it I am fantasizing about the previous time... and then the next time we do it I will think about that time.. I have a hard time being in the moment, I guess. I also have some pretty dirty fantasies.. when I get to live them, I honestly like it best that I can fantasize about what we did later even more than being in the moment sometimes. In reality- pain isn't quite as sexy as it is in my mind. But I still want it anyway in certain capacities... so I can think of it later.

To answer your questions:


Do you think that fantasy has taken over for reality?: Yes, certainly for me.
I mean is it more pleasurable to think it and talk it than it is to do it?: Yes, often it is..
There is an obvious closet safety in fantasy, but how many on here honestly have or want to live out their fantasy?: I do and I do sometimes. Maybe not as rough and as intense, but to a decently large degree, I do.
The key word here is"honestly".
Would you..........could you?: Yes. I do.. to the extreme that I imagine? Maybe not quite, but I am pretty resilient..
Or are you living in cyber world one moment and in the illusion the next?: Not necessarily cyber world. I lay there and imagine things.. they are often also in my dreams... I come on here sometimes to talk about things. And I like to read about similar things to what I am thinking, if I can find it. Or sometimes watch it.
Perhaps this is life in the 21st century and a glimpse into future mind over body lust affairs.: Yes. The mind is 90% of an orgasm for me... The feeling alone feels goooood but it won't make me orgasm.

 

[RaynieJ]

Wow analgirl, that is probably the best response anyone would see here!! Go you!

I think I agree with you too, to some extent. I can be in the moment, but I often fantasize about other moments, or times with other people, real life or wishful thinking.

My two biggest fantasies...one I would totally do in real life, the other, not likely. Not to the extent that I fantasize at least. Partly because it CANT really happen, but partly because it's not sexy in real life like I can make it in my mind.

 

[Erosfan]

Fantasy?

Do you think that fantasy has taken over for reality?
I mean is it more pleasurable to think it and talk it than it is to do it?
There is an obvious closet safety in fantasy, but how many on here honestly have or want to live out their fantasy?
The key word here is"honestly".
Would you..........could you?
Or are you living in cyber world one moment and in the illusion the next?
Perhaps this is life in the 21st century and a glimpse into future mind over body lust affairs.

Do you think that fantasy has taken over for reality? Maybe.

I mean is it more pleasurable to think it and talk it than it is to do it?
The fantasies I have been fortunate enough to experience have been wonderful.

There is an obvious closet safety in fantasy, but how many on here honestly have or want to live out their fantasy?
Fantasies are safe as long as they are fantasies. Honestly, I have shared all my fantasies (yes, all) with my wife and I have asked her to push my buttons just to see how far I am willing to go.
I really want to live out my fantasies and I won't know if I am up to it until I am forced to put up or shut up.

The key word here is"honestly".
"Honestly" I really want to try.

Would you..........could you?
That is what I want to find out.

Or are you living in cyber world one moment and in the illusion the next?
Only time will tell.

 

[Beck31]

I think there are elements of both floating out there for whomever wants to grab them.

 

[Tomahawk26]

Do you think that fantasy has taken over for reality?
I mean is it more pleasurable to think it and talk it than it is to do it?
There is an obvious closet safety in fantasy, but how many on here honestly have or want to live out their fantasy?
The key word here is"honestly".
Would you..........could you?
Or are you living in cyber world one moment and in the illusion the next?
Perhaps this is life in the 21st century and a glimpse into future mind over body lust affairs.

These are the kinds of questions I like to think/talk about.

In my case, I definitely think fantasy is powerful, but for me, if it's something I can't actually do IRL, I don't find it that exciting. I have told my husband about my every fantasy and turn-on, and all have been accepted and at least tried. I agree with analgirl up above that my mind must be engaged to be satisfied, but for me that's engagement with the present, the real. Not often fantasy outside of what I'm actually doing, which others have mentioned.

 

[Quantified]

These are the kinds of questions I like to think/talk about.

I definitely think for me fantasy is powerful, but for me, if it's something I can't actually do IRL, I don't find it that exciting. I have told my husband about my every fantasy and turn-on, and all have been accepted and at least tried. I agree with analgirl up above that my mind must be engaged to be satisfied, but for me that's engagement with the present, the real. Not often fantasy outside of what I'm actually doing.

I feel the same way -- and my wife doesn't really get it. She thinks everything in a guy's brain surrounds porn-type imagery/motivation. I keep saying: It has to be plausible or I can't get into it at all.

I consider seducing her best friends plausible. But don't tell her that.

 

[mike2010fc]

.....

 

[Tomahawk26]

I know there are tons of analogies like that for women too. Maybe they look frigid when really they are super turned on but can't tell you what to do. Or maybe they fake orgasms and you think they're feeling great but meanwhile they're sick of you.

On Lit, we can say whatever we want and break through all that, but in real life it's so much harder to talk about it, I don't know why. I've really never acted out any of my fantasies, it sucks. And I just assume I know what she wants and probably do it all wrong, and vice versa.

I wish there was an "ease into communication" tutorial.

Mike

I guess I can't relate to having difficulty expressing what I want to my partner. . . I just feel like I'm not going to get what I want if I don't ask for it; and this person loves me, so what can it possibly hurt to talk about what I like and what turns me on? I love to know what gets my husband going, anything, really--the filthier the better! I wish everyone was in a relationship where they could feel comfortable communicating their needs (not talking just sexually now)--there'd be a lot more happy people in the world, I think!

 

[mikey1234]

Great responses

yet when one thinks of how we play out our fantasies on sites like this one, it makes it obvious or at least it would seem obvious that fantasy is in some aspects a deeper medium than reality.
The computer age has taken us into a previously unknown world that spans both time and distance.
Enabling people to explore their sexuality in a closet screen.
In this we satisfy ourselves, by using a computer.
Being honest in one world and often secretive in another.
Perhaps this is really the new age reality.

 

[Tomahawk26]

In this we satisfy ourselves, by using a computer.
Being honest in one world and often secretive in another.
Perhaps this is really the new age reality.

I disagree--it seems to me that many people here, based on posts I've read, express in their daily lives with their partners the things they express here, and there's nothing secret about their proclivities or their activities.

 

[callmeismael]

Excellent topic. I certainly live in a fantasy world, sexually. Real life has so many boundaries, some logistical, some moral. And I like the presence of the boundaries; I get really turned on by thoughts that push against or sometimes break through those boundaries. But in real life, breaking such boundaries carries deep and long-lasting repercussions. And I don't particularly want to be someone who, in real life, has no boundaries.
A lot of what I'm talking about here has to do with being married, and in a relationship where sex for her, is more about familiarity and comfort... something that I can definitely appreciate, but which reflects only a small part of my own sexuality. Therefore, much of my sexually finds its outlet in my imagination.
Some of these fantasies are linked to partners I've had in the past: things we did, things I regret not doing. Some to my wife - pushing our limits in a way that I know she's not comfortable with in real life. Some are imagined encounters with a woman I might notice on the street and remember: I'll notice her, try to memorize her in my mind's eye, think about what I'd like to do to her, and then develop that fantasy more in private. Some are more abstract, not thinking about myself exactly, but a fantasy about... characters, let's call them, with their own situations and boundaries that they explore and push through.