Is Erotica Realistic?

[NOIRTRASH]

I read a well written erotic novel yesterday and today. Plenty of the action I have no experience of, some of its old hat. And I learned a thing or two. I had a couple epiphanies after doing the math. But plenty of the action seemed, while plausible, unlikely as winning the lottery.

 

[Blase]

Most people's lives just don't include many of the things that are commonly portrayed in erotica. And even if they occasionally get a chance to experience something out of the ordinary, what are the chances that it will go smoothly the first time?

But the same could doubtless be said of any fictional genre. How many of us get to be spies, or even mountain climbers? And if we did suddenly get the chance, would everything go swimmingly? Doubtful.

 

[ElectricBlue]

is erotica realistic?

It can be, yes. Real life can be grist for the mill - I have a story cycle here that has minimal embellishment:

https://www.literotica.com/s/memory-and-loss-pt-01 (it's in four parts).

(Digs pretty deep into feelings though; Noir, be warned if you go there).

 

[yukonnights]

Is Erotica Realistic ?

Most people's lives just don't include many of the things that are commonly portrayed in erotica. And even if they occasionally get a chance to experience something out of the ordinary, what are the chances that it will go smoothly the first time?

But the same could doubtless be said of any fictional genre. How many of us get to be spies, or even mountain climbers? And if we did suddenly get the chance, would everything go swimmingly? Doubtful.

It can be, yes. Real life can be grist for the mill - I have a story cycle here that has minimal embellishment:

https://www.literotica.com/s/memory-and-loss-pt-01 (it's in four parts).

(Digs pretty deep into feelings though; Noir, be warned if you go there).

Seems both of these answers are true. And yet, Blase's probably holds the most truth for the average reader. And I bring in the reader because, most erotica can be more of a fact based story for at least a portion of the readers. But the percentage is likely small. The question then is; can sexual acts we personally engage in also be interesting erotic reading? Again, I think yes. Take very vanilla romance between a heterosexual couple; the majority of society probably has some experience in these sexual acts, and yet it is a very popular genre. Then the next question; Can outlandish fantasy sex we may never engage in be erotic? Again, obviously yes.

So, I guess it can be either realistic or not. Perhaps the key to making realism erotic has to do more with how the realism is draped with flowing adornments which soothe the harshness of reality?

 

[HandsInTheDark]

I don't write realistic sex. I generally put my stories in not-quite-reality settings to signal the fact that my fiction is fiction. Some are future, some involve supernatural or scifi elements.

I do write plausible characters and relationships. And when I bend science I try to make it at least believable, with the break with reality well hidden.

When my characters have sex, someone always orgasms. I can report that in reality, that's not a given. My male characters rarely know when they are falling in love, which is cute and sweet and makes female readers all happy, but in the real world most of us figure it out pretty early. There are never any children in my story; which is rather odd given all the sex the women have and what sex is actually for. I think I've mentioned putting off sex because of an inconvenient menstrual cycle once. I've only mentioned condoms in one chapter of one story where infection was a very significant concern. Also, a close reading of my stories would lead you to believe that sex stops at around age 35 or so, which is a tad unrealistic.

If you want realistic sex, find a partner. If you can't, find another interest or take your chances paying whores for your lessons. Erotica is a way to talk about what sex represents, not what it is.

Yes, I get there are people writing straight up realistic sex, and if it's done right it can be all kinds of good writing. It's just not what I'm interested in.

 

[NicoleZ]

The individual sex scenes, yes, mostly but not always as far as I can tell. The context, we-el..., rarely.

I recently read a contest winner where the female protagonist was quite successful, the boss of the male protagonist and of course known in the office as a bitch. Deep down, "naturally", she's always yearned for "it" and to be dominated by a "real man" (the reader) which is why she is so bitchy... Of course when he acts masterfully, she "cannot help herself" and willingly submits to become his BDSM sub cum slave. To further distance himself from reality, the writer then presents BDSM as little more than slightly kinky - some well-padded handcuffs and some nice, cosy anal sex for everyone with a bit of cunnilingus cheerfully thrown in.

I have to say it's very well done, but it's as far from reality as it can get, pandering to male fantasies and misconceptions, something one must obviously do if it's to be successful...

 

[NOIRTRASH]

The individual sex scenes, yes, mostly but not always as far as I can tell. The context, we-el..., rarely.

I recently read a contest winner where the female protagonist was quite successful, the boss of the male protagonist and of course known in the office as a bitch. Deep down, "naturally", she's always yearned for "it" and to be dominated by a "real man" (the reader) which is why she is so bitchy... Of course when he acts masterfully, she "cannot help herself" and willingly submits to become his BDSM sub cum slave. To further distance himself from reality, the writer then presents BDSM as little more than slightly kinky - some well-padded handcuffs and some nice, cosy anal sex for everyone with a bit of cunnilingus cheerfully thrown in.

I have to say it's very well done, but it's as far from reality as it can get, pandering to male fantasies and misconceptions, something one must obviously do if it's to be successful...

I have a theory about dominance that seems to be the real deal. Local conditions summons real masters, and real masters sooth and calm the event and people involved.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

It can be, yes. Real life can be grist for the mill - I have a story cycle here that has minimal embellishment:

https://www.literotica.com/s/memory-and-loss-pt-01 (it's in four parts).

(Digs pretty deep into feelings though; Noir, be warned if you go there).

I bookmarked your story for when I'm able to see again. Wipe grease around your monitor to see my challenge.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I bookmarked your story for when I'm able to see again. Wipe grease around your monitor to see my challenge.

I feel for you Noir, I cannot imagine fading vision.

Somebody commented on one of my stories: "what a beautiful read. I felt it in my toes. Only way it could be any sexier is if someone read it to me..."

Maybe I need to record some of my stories...

 

[TxRad]

Is Erotica Realistic?

Not really, erotica is fantasy for the most part.

Can erotica be realistic? That's a better question but first you need to define realistic. I caught part of a new show, 'cops, live' or something like that. The most boring crap I ever saw. Everyone, well, most everyone has sex. Some good, some bad, some whatever it might be. Which is realistic and which is erotic.

Answer, the part that turns you on. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I feel for you Noir, I cannot imagine fading vision.

Somebody commented on one of my stories: "what a beautiful read. I felt it in my toes. Only way it could be any sexier is if someone read it to me..."

Maybe I need to record some of my stories...

Thank you but I manage to cope well enough. A blind man never sees any ugly women.

 

[BattlingSoul]

Probably for a very small percentage it's realistic, but for the most part I believe it personally to be fantasy...

Just MY perspective, no one has to agree with me...

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thank you but I manage to cope well enough. A blind man never sees any ugly women.

There is that!

 

[FortySixtyFour]

Erotica is fiction, an idealized, rose-tinted and aggrandized retelling of truth--whether actual happenings or honest fantasies. And life imitates art.

At one point in my life I'd gotten out of a seven year relationship in a bad way and was as cynical and jaded as I'm sure everyone who's been in that position knows--and everyone who's never been in that position can never really know. I was sexually experienced, but I felt like I'd burned myself out on attraction to women and the whole sex thing in general, a lot of the spark and romance was gone.

...Or so I thought. A girl came along and almost forced a fling on me that opened my experience to some things I can't describe to you no matter how many years I'll spend trying. A lot of aspects of erotica and sexuality I'd previously assured myself were purely fiction were very seriously reevaluated.

I was a frog within a well, thinking that little circle of sky I could see was the entire sky. I wasn't wrong at the time. When I was down in that well that little circle of sky might as well have been the entire sky, I just needed to realize some things and climb up a bit higher, get some new perspectives so that I could be a little bit more right than I was.

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that erotica is an experience, and some experiences won't be realistic to others no matter how real they might have been. Obvious exceptions/exaggerations apply, but how realistic erotica is can depend more on the context of the reader than the context of the writer sometimes.

 

[holliday1960]

Is Erotica Realistic?

Not really, erotica is fantasy for the most part.

Can erotica be realistic? That's a better question but first you need to define realistic. I caught part of a new show, 'cops, live' or something like that. The most boring crap I ever saw. Everyone, well, most everyone has sex. Some good, some bad, some whatever it might be. Which is realistic and which is erotic.

Answer, the part that turns you on. Nothing more and nothing less.

Many writers remove the "bumps in the road" from sex scenes to give the reader a more enjoyable ride. That doesn't mean the experience wasn't a real one. I don't think I've ever had sex that didn't have some kind of bump in it... Anything from a wrong angle to an unexpected cough or sneeze that interrupts the flow of things.
(note to self: don't give blow-jobs when you have the flu!)

Sometimes, when things "go wrong" during sex, it can lead to better sex. That has been my experience in many cases.

When a reader is fantasizing while reading, whether the story is realistic sex or not, it becomes realistic to that person. Getting kidnapped by aliens isn't reality, but if it is someone's kink, for them it becomes very real.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

James M .Cain agreed with realism attitude.

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE

Frank meets Cora

Then I saw her. She had been out back, in the kitchen, but she came in to gather up my dishes. Except for the shape, she really wasn’t any raving beauty, but she had a sulky look to her, and her lips stuck out...they then battle over her looking Mexican.

 

[PervOtaku]

All of the above. Sometimes awesome stuff happens in real life. But most of the time not. So you have some "based on a true story" stuff.

In some areas of reddit, people tell stories of their sexual exploits that are hotter than any fictional erotica (though generally less detailed, of course). But most people don't have any stories that wild.

Fiction is unrealistic, but truth can be stranger than fiction, as they say.

And then there's this: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealityIsUnrealistic

 

[ChloeTzang]

Thank you but I manage to cope well enough. A blind man never sees any ugly women.

Chloe sings. "Always look on the bright side of life" (thanks Dad for introducing me to Monty Python when I was young and easily influenced)

 

[holliday1960]

Chloe sings. "Always look on the bright side of life" (thanks Dad for introducing me to Monty Python when I was young and easily influenced)

Chloe, I officially nominate you as AH board cheerleader of the year! (mainly because 'there's no sunshine when you're gone'...

 

[SamScribble]

Just for the record, everything in my stories is 100% real. That is to say: it really did happen. Mainly to me. Well, most of it. No, make that some of it. A bit of it. A couple of things anyway. Sort of.

Anyway, I think it was Einstein who said that imagination is probably more useful than knowledge. And, if he didn't, he should have.

 

[holliday1960]

Just for the record, everything in my stories is 100% real. That is to say: it really did happen. Mainly to me. Well, most of it. No, make that some of it. A bit of it. A couple of things anyway. Sort of.

Anyway, I think it was Einstein who said that imagination is probably more useful than knowledge. And, if he didn't, he should have.

Sam...never, Never, NEVER admit to anything! It's all a lie. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Remember, you have the right to remain silent. On the flipside, you can scream if you like

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Chloe sings. "Always look on the bright side of life" (thanks Dad for introducing me to Monty Python when I was young and easily influenced)

My best writing is humor, and one or two of my creations are semi-famous 25 years ago. Fans suggested I work for MAD magazine with my droll sense of humor, but I never laid eyes on Monty Python ever. I know the name, is all. Gahan Wilsonis my hero.

http://gahanwilson.net/

 

[NOIRTRASH]

If you wanna depict sex accurately remember this: Every male conceals an action hero within him, and every female shares her closet with a monster.

 

[ChloeTzang]

My best writing is humor, and one or two of my creations are semi-famous 25 years ago. Fans suggested I work for MAD magazine with my droll sense of humor, but I never laid eyes on Monty Python ever. I know the name, is all. Gahan Wilsonis my hero.

http://gahanwilson.net/

Monty Python's Flying Circus was a weird english TV comedy series. My dad worked in the UK waaaay before I came along and got addicted to it. The humor is english and its a bit hard to follow follow sometimes. But some of their skits are pure genius. You can find them on youtube. I'll see if I can dig up some links. The Ministry of Silly Walks was hilarious. Handley Page should know them.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Monty Python's Flying Circus was a weird english TV comedy series.

Substitute "...was a weird..." with "...is a classic..."

Python, like Fawlty Towers, is timeless comedy. Americans rarely understand it, but it's in the gene pool of anyone reared on the BBC in the UK or the ABC in Australia. Don't know about the rest of the world, but that probably doesn't matter...