Is a long build-up off-putting

[Sarah the Lioness]

I have written a new story but the build-up to the sexual action is quite long. The problem is that if I take out the prelude the story looses much of its edge.
Do you think I should cut the story or publish it as it is?
Sarah
kjlioness@currantbun.com

http://uk.geocities.com/kjlioness2001/index.html

 

[Ray Dario]

Without reading the story there is no way for me to give you a specific answer, but ...

If the prelude enhances the story then my first response would be "Don't cut it."

If the story is enhanced by removing the prelude then "Hack it out of there."

In the end you need to make your own decision but a long prelude to sex isn't necessarily a bad thing. You may need to add some teasers into the prelude, if it feels bland to you, but anticipation of sex can be as good as the sex itself.

So look at the story, read it to yourself, aloud, and see how you like it.

If the story is terribly long, over 10 Lit pages, then you may want to try to shorten it somehow. If not then I wouldn't worry about it as long as it reads well.

Ray

 

[ronde]

I think any story needs enough prelude to answer these questions:

1. Who are the characters?
I like the reader to know something about my characters besides physical size and the fact that they're horny as bunnies.

2. Where are they?
Sex in a vacuum sucks. People will act differently depending on the place and time in which they are together. Somehow, the author needs to set the stage for the resulting liaison to be credible.

3. What are they doing?
It is not believable, even with two people who know each other, to have them walk in a room and start ripping off each other's clothes. They need some plan for the meeting, a reason for the attraction, or a situation that throws them together.

If this takes a page or more, so be it, because the story will make more sense to the reader. I also believe that a little tease before the finale makes the story more erotic.

 

[Sarah the Lioness]

Is a long build-up off putting?

Thanks Ray and Ronde for your thoughts.

After reading your comments I have decided to leave my story as it is. There are a few teasers in the prelude and I believe that the characters involved need the suspense in the build-up to make the climax realistic.

I did take all your points on board and that helped me to decide. Thank you both.
Sarah xxx

 

[Idle_Hands]

Corollary?

How about a story in which a quick, hot dose of sex is used straight off, and then the action rewinds to let the reader learn who the characters are, and they got there?

I've been playing with this approach in a couple of drafts. It seems to me that it might be a good way to get the reader to "agree" to read a bit of expository stuff after that. It probably needs kid-glove handling.

-ih

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Corollary?

How about a story in which a quick, hot dose of sex is used straight off, and then the action rewinds to let the reader learn who the characters are, and they got there?
...
It probably needs kid-glove handling.

This is a workable technique IF there is more than one sex scene -- especially if the second is "worth the wait."

There are several stories on the site that use this approach -- a couple are even readable.

Sarah,
The amount of prelude to the sex depends entirely on the story. If it enhances the story, then it should stay, otherwise it should be trimmed.

Since you asked the question, I tend to believe that there is more than is really needed, or there is something about it that requires work.
You might consider checking out a volunteer editor for an opinion. A good editor can help a story a lot by pointing out things you may not have considered about how to structure your prelude to the sex scene(s).

 

[Guest]

long preludes

I have the same dilemma. My next story requires a proper set-up. I am taking the chance.

The votes, feedback and hits will tell the tale.

It costs me nothing but time.

I think you have made the right decision.

My stories tend toward decriptve phrases, but my posts tend to be short and to the point. Sorry.

 

[Sarah the Lioness]

Is a long build-up off-putting?

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions.
I did take them all on board and have now submitted my story. It is called ‘Sarah’s Happy Holiday’.

I hope some of you guys will read it when it is published and tell me if you think I have done the right thing?

Thanks again.

Sarah xxx


kjlioness@currantbun.com