This is a PSA. Frenzied typists, take note.
These are arguments that DO NOT WORK OR MAKE SENSE.
1. On Searching Posts
Situation: A poster is presented with an incriminating quote and link to a previous post he has made as evidence of something he has said or done.
Irrational Response: "Gee, you must be really obsessed with me to have remembered/spent all that time searching for that post."
Fact: It takes roughly twenty seconds, if that, to open the search box, enter a couple of keywords, and wait for the results to come up. Most people with a memory beyond that of a goldfish will have a reasonable memory for certain key words. Remembering that you said something moronic at some point isn't much different to remembering the fact that a turtle is a reptile, as opposed to an amphibian. I looked that up 6 years ago and I still remember it. AMAZING HOW THE BRAIN ISN'T A SIEVE.
2. On Drama
Situation: Drama erupts. The board posts gleefully about it, revelling with a small amount of malice in the free entertainment.
Irrational Response: "God, you people are such drama whores, why don't you let it go already. Stop beating the dead horse."
Fact: By posting in the thread, or in some extra amusing cases, starting a new one to preach about what drama whores everyone is, you are in fact dragging the topic on and being a drama whore yourself. The only difference is you can't admit it.
3. Posting Does Not Equal Caring
Situation: A thread escalates. Posters comment, snark flies. Assertions of not really caring about the topic abound.
Irrational Response: "But you posted, so clearly you care. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH HUH?"
Fact: This is a message board. Posting is all anybody does, posting in a particular thread only indicates interest in this thread above others, not personal investment or caring.
4. Posting Does Not Require That Much Effort
Situation: A thread escalates. Snark flies! Similar to above.
Irrational Response: "You're responding to me, so obviously I am getting under your skin! Obviously you would not exert this much effort if I wasn't getting to you! Haha! I win!"
Fact: You're responding too. Again, this is a message board. Posting is all people do. Tapping at a keyboard is one of the most low energy activities one can engage in, it's not that hard to make a post. Unless you're one of those poor disabled people with only thumbs, and that's how you have to type, pecking away at the keyboard with your thumbs. In which case one might argue that you are in fact exerting rather strenuous amounts of efforts to post.
5. On Ignore
Situation: "God, you're an idiot. Why are you such an idiot?"
Irrational Response: "If you don't like me, why don't you put me on ignore? I have as much right to post as you do! I'm not going to stop posting! I am here to educate!"
Fact: Okay, but people still have a right to point out that you're an idiot. That's the fun part!
Also, you can use it too!
6. The Company You Keep
Situation: Poster A is demonstrably a crap person and outed as such. Poster B defends. Poster B is called on it.
Irrational Response: But he was nice to meeeeeeeeeee. Alternately, who cares, she has nice tits.
Fact: You're a fucking moron, go jump off a bridge.
Feel free to add your own.
Eg:
7. Weird PSA threads at 4 am
Situation: BG has too much free time
Irrational Response: "I'm going to tell everyone what to do!"
Fact: Shut up, BG.
These are arguments that DO NOT WORK OR MAKE SENSE.
1. On Searching Posts
Situation: A poster is presented with an incriminating quote and link to a previous post he has made as evidence of something he has said or done.
Irrational Response: "Gee, you must be really obsessed with me to have remembered/spent all that time searching for that post."
Fact: It takes roughly twenty seconds, if that, to open the search box, enter a couple of keywords, and wait for the results to come up. Most people with a memory beyond that of a goldfish will have a reasonable memory for certain key words. Remembering that you said something moronic at some point isn't much different to remembering the fact that a turtle is a reptile, as opposed to an amphibian. I looked that up 6 years ago and I still remember it. AMAZING HOW THE BRAIN ISN'T A SIEVE.
2. On Drama
Situation: Drama erupts. The board posts gleefully about it, revelling with a small amount of malice in the free entertainment.
Irrational Response: "God, you people are such drama whores, why don't you let it go already. Stop beating the dead horse."
Fact: By posting in the thread, or in some extra amusing cases, starting a new one to preach about what drama whores everyone is, you are in fact dragging the topic on and being a drama whore yourself. The only difference is you can't admit it.
3. Posting Does Not Equal Caring
Situation: A thread escalates. Posters comment, snark flies. Assertions of not really caring about the topic abound.
Irrational Response: "But you posted, so clearly you care. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH HUH?"
Fact: This is a message board. Posting is all anybody does, posting in a particular thread only indicates interest in this thread above others, not personal investment or caring.
4. Posting Does Not Require That Much Effort
Situation: A thread escalates. Snark flies! Similar to above.
Irrational Response: "You're responding to me, so obviously I am getting under your skin! Obviously you would not exert this much effort if I wasn't getting to you! Haha! I win!"
Fact: You're responding too. Again, this is a message board. Posting is all people do. Tapping at a keyboard is one of the most low energy activities one can engage in, it's not that hard to make a post. Unless you're one of those poor disabled people with only thumbs, and that's how you have to type, pecking away at the keyboard with your thumbs. In which case one might argue that you are in fact exerting rather strenuous amounts of efforts to post.
5. On Ignore
Situation: "God, you're an idiot. Why are you such an idiot?"
Irrational Response: "If you don't like me, why don't you put me on ignore? I have as much right to post as you do! I'm not going to stop posting! I am here to educate!"
Fact: Okay, but people still have a right to point out that you're an idiot. That's the fun part!
Also, you can use it too!
6. The Company You Keep
Situation: Poster A is demonstrably a crap person and outed as such. Poster B defends. Poster B is called on it.
Irrational Response: But he was nice to meeeeeeeeeee. Alternately, who cares, she has nice tits.
Fact: You're a fucking moron, go jump off a bridge.
Feel free to add your own.
Eg:
7. Weird PSA threads at 4 am
Situation: BG has too much free time
Irrational Response: "I'm going to tell everyone what to do!"
Fact: Shut up, BG.
Last edited:
