Kymberley
I perfected 'BITCHYNESS'
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2000
- Posts
- 1,866
This just in......We were all wondering where he was.....
4/09/2003
Anti-associated Press
BAGHDAD, Iraq- Surrounded by crowds of cheering Iraqis waving their fists in the air and chanting "Pro Bush" and "Anti Saddam" slogans, Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed al-Sahhaf finally appeared in front of the television cameras that were broadcasting world wide the taking down of the 20 foot tall statue of Saddam Hussein.
He waited briefly as the chants continued then with the soldier's armed with their automatic rifles, stepping forward, the crowds cheering ended abruptly.
"My fellow Iraqis, we have done it! We have won! Rejoice, praise God we have beat those evil tyrants that have invaded our country."
"We have tricked them into helping us move all the funiture out of the Government buildings so we could have the carpets cleaned. You all did such a wonderful job at fooling those idiotic Western journalists into believing you were looting the buildings. I congratulate you all."
"We have made them help us remove those big, bulky, statues of Our Great Leader Saddam Hussein, made with their cheap, flimsy Western steel from their bases with their inferior tanks so that we can have the new improved golden statues lifted onto them over night."
"We have convinced them that the tires you all hauled away were treasures that you were looting and those silly marines helped you even load them onto trucks so you can take them to the dumps and help keep our city streets clean."
"They are idiots! They are infidels! Of course those stupid Western invaders and cowards who failed to commit suicide at the gates because they can't do anything right, are now roaming our city streets with their tanks and armoured personel carriers. But we have fooled them all into thinking we want them here. Now we can show them how we will really make them pay for what they have done to our Country. We are able to let them patrol our streets so that our police departments can have a four day weekend. They will be back to work on Monday."
"As we continue to hug and praise them, and tear down those paintings of our Great Saddam Hussein, we are secretly putting "Kick Me" stickers on their backs. The new up to date portraits are being painted as we speak. These military goats that follow Bush into hell have no idea that they are just being used to help clean the walls off for the new pictures. They are blind to this. They have no clue that we are laughing at them behind their backs."
"Keep up your great works. Keep cleaning out the old furnitures and belongings of all the buildings you can. The new stuff will be here on Monday as soon as FedEx can find a place to land. After all, those infidels bodies are littering our runways at the Airport we murdered them at, so we will have to get them cleaned up first."
"And one more thing. Did you all see how we tricked them into dropping those 4-2000 pound bombs in Mansour? Remember that we told you our Parks and Recreation Department was working on a neighborhood improvement plan? Well now we will have that wave pool and family fun water park."
With that, he turned, praised Saddam, and God and went back to his bunker.
4/09/2003
Anti-associated Press
BAGHDAD, Iraq- Surrounded by crowds of cheering Iraqis waving their fists in the air and chanting "Pro Bush" and "Anti Saddam" slogans, Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed al-Sahhaf finally appeared in front of the television cameras that were broadcasting world wide the taking down of the 20 foot tall statue of Saddam Hussein.
He waited briefly as the chants continued then with the soldier's armed with their automatic rifles, stepping forward, the crowds cheering ended abruptly.
"My fellow Iraqis, we have done it! We have won! Rejoice, praise God we have beat those evil tyrants that have invaded our country."
"We have tricked them into helping us move all the funiture out of the Government buildings so we could have the carpets cleaned. You all did such a wonderful job at fooling those idiotic Western journalists into believing you were looting the buildings. I congratulate you all."
"We have made them help us remove those big, bulky, statues of Our Great Leader Saddam Hussein, made with their cheap, flimsy Western steel from their bases with their inferior tanks so that we can have the new improved golden statues lifted onto them over night."
"We have convinced them that the tires you all hauled away were treasures that you were looting and those silly marines helped you even load them onto trucks so you can take them to the dumps and help keep our city streets clean."
"They are idiots! They are infidels! Of course those stupid Western invaders and cowards who failed to commit suicide at the gates because they can't do anything right, are now roaming our city streets with their tanks and armoured personel carriers. But we have fooled them all into thinking we want them here. Now we can show them how we will really make them pay for what they have done to our Country. We are able to let them patrol our streets so that our police departments can have a four day weekend. They will be back to work on Monday."
"As we continue to hug and praise them, and tear down those paintings of our Great Saddam Hussein, we are secretly putting "Kick Me" stickers on their backs. The new up to date portraits are being painted as we speak. These military goats that follow Bush into hell have no idea that they are just being used to help clean the walls off for the new pictures. They are blind to this. They have no clue that we are laughing at them behind their backs."
"Keep up your great works. Keep cleaning out the old furnitures and belongings of all the buildings you can. The new stuff will be here on Monday as soon as FedEx can find a place to land. After all, those infidels bodies are littering our runways at the Airport we murdered them at, so we will have to get them cleaned up first."
"And one more thing. Did you all see how we tricked them into dropping those 4-2000 pound bombs in Mansour? Remember that we told you our Parks and Recreation Department was working on a neighborhood improvement plan? Well now we will have that wave pool and family fun water park."
With that, he turned, praised Saddam, and God and went back to his bunker.
![]ooooo(chained)](https://forumfast.litimgs.com/data/avatars/m/201/201593.jpg?1645473681){kind=avatar}
