invading my privacy

[deezire1900]

I have a question...

I write poems that come from my heart on this website. Sometimes the stories and poems are too painful to talk about in the real world, but i feel better getting them out. Ok here is my question...I fell for someone new, and she writes too (not here) and I told her I was on this site and I trusted her(1st person i have ever told)...she went to the site, read my poems, and tried to use it againts me(she misunderstood the poem). "You don't really love me beacause you wont share this pain with me, but you will post it to a web site."
Now I feel violated...I know I was wrong to tell her about this place, but I really didn't think she would do this.....

am I being selfish?

I have learned my lesson...that is for sure.

Deezire

 

[Cigan]

I don't know what your poems are about, but I can say that you weren't wrong to tell her. She was wrong to be a bitch about it. By telling her you had posted to this site you had in fact taken a step towards sharing your pain with her by showing it to her. Emotional pain is a very difficult thing to deal with, trust me I have had friends who have dealt with more than their fair share and I have helped them through as well as I could. The one thing I have learned is that just because they aren't ready to share with someone they know doesn't mean they don't care about that person. Posting something to the internet is easy. No one you know is going to read it, you don't have to discuss it, or deal with the awkwardness of your friends and family not knowing what to do. It's also the simple fact that since you can't see the person you're telling it's much easier to spill out the pain. I have also learned that people who have this kind of pain are much better off once they have told someone. In the slow baby steps that they feel comfortable with. You took a baby step, and the person you took it towards backstabbed you with it. Don't think you made a mistake, you got unluky. I know it will probably take you a long time to trust someone enough to do that again, but don't tell yourself you never will. It's important to be able to find someone who is trustworthy enough to share your pain with, even if it is just trusting them enough to know they will understand that you have only been able to post to the internet and not tell them about it in the past. I'm very sorry about your experience, and hope it is the last you have like it.

 

[TheFrenchGuy]

dito

I don't know what your poems are about, but I can say that you weren't wrong to tell her. She was wrong to be a bitch about it. By telling her you had posted to this site you had in fact taken a step towards sharing your pain with her by showing it to her. Emotional pain is a very difficult thing to deal with, trust me I have had friends who have dealt with more than their fair share and I have helped them through as well as I could. The one thing I have learned is that just because they aren't ready to share with someone they know doesn't mean they don't care about that person. Posting something to the internet is easy. No one you know is going to read it, you don't have to discuss it, or deal with the awkwardness of your friends and family not knowing what to do. It's also the simple fact that since you can't see the person you're telling it's much easier to spill out the pain. I have also learned that people who have this kind of pain are much better off once they have told someone. In the slow baby steps that they feel comfortable with. You took a baby step, and the person you took it towards backstabbed you with it. Don't think you made a mistake, you got unluky. I know it will probably take you a long time to trust someone enough to do that again, but don't tell yourself you never will. It's important to be able to find someone who is trustworthy enough to share your pain with, even if it is just trusting them enough to know they will understand that you have only been able to post to the internet and not tell them about it in the past. I'm very sorry about your experience, and hope it is the last you have like it.

I can't agree more with that.

 

[Bitchslapper]

She completely overreacted and took it personally when what you were doing was trying to be closer to her. But she jumped to the conclusion that you had been hiding it from her. Maybe she thought you started to feel guilty about it and that's why you finally showed her the site, I don't know.

It's ironic what she said: ""You don't really love me beacause you wont share this pain with me, but you will post it to a web site." because that is what you were in truth doing, sharing it with her. But all she could think about was the fact that you didn't tell her about it sooner. Frankly, she was being selfish, not you. She should've realized you were out on a limb and sympathized, instead of cutting it out from under you.

In any case, SHE stepped on her own metaphorical dick, you didn't.

 

[innocentone]

Good grief... the person was a BITCH... sorry, your outlet was/is poetry and you posted it on the website as a way of healing and getting ithe pain out there... by sharing with her that webaddress and whatnot you were sharing that pain with her if she couldn't figure that out then she is not only a Bitch but a moron as well.


Ok sorry for the rant but that hit close to home...sigh



********************
It is the confession not the Priest that gives you absolution ~Oscar Wilde

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you.

It has drove a wedge between us that I just can't seem to get past.

I am really fucking this up by not letting it go.

I just don't think we are right for each other. but now I feel like I have to hurt her....I HATE THIS!

I would NEVER, EVER read and judge someone elses work. EVER!

 

[Etoile]

I see it as being kind of like blogging. I write some pretty fucking intimate and sexual stuff in a blog (not the one mentioned in my sig, a different one) and I feel that I can depend on a certain degree of anonymity. I'm sharing how I feel and what I think and experience, but it's also not really associated with who I am on a day-to-day basis. (I don't think I'm expressing this well, but I'll keep going.) If somebody from my "real life" found out about this blog, they'd be pretty upset by some of the stuff I write there. And yet I need to express it, so I do so anonymously. And yes, I invite comments on that blog, and somebody I do know as myself reads it but doesn't know it's me. I'm protected in that way.

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you E.

You said it very well.

I know that she is not right for me, but I was so tired of being lonely. I am a sensual, beautiful girl, bit I am also selective...and Yes I still have all these feelings for my x wife...and I am turing 30 in 1 month.... UGH! I can't handle one more thing.
Thank you for letting me vent.

Deezire

 

[deezire1900]

We broke up....