invading my privacy

[deezire1900]

I have a question...

I write poems that come from my heart on this website. Sometimes the stories and poems are too painful to talk about in the real world, but i feel better getting them out. Ok here is my question...I fell for someone new, and she writes too (not here) and I told her I was on this site and I trusted her...she went to the site, read my poems, and tried to use it againts me. "You don't really love me beacause you wont share this pain with me, but you will post it to a web site."
Now I feel violated...I know I was wrong to tell her about this place, but I really didn't think she would do this.....

am I being selfish?

I have learned my lesson...that is for sure.

Deezire

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think that person is being selfish and silly. OK, so she's hurt that you didn't share this with her, but if she has any sense of logic at all, she should understand that it's easier to reveal your feelings in writing, with strangers who are also into writing about their eelings, and whom you don't have to face in Real Life.

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you.

Now my issue is I can't get over the anger.

My ex cheated on me after 8 years, so now I have this issue with trust...and I am actually angry inside about this.

She was so angry over the poems she read, thinking I was still in love with my ex....but the sad part is she misunderstood the poem...it wasn't even about the ex.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thank you.

Now my issue is I can't get over the anger.

My ex cheated on me after 8 years, so now I have this issue with trust...and I am actually angry inside about this.

She was so angry over the poems she read, thinking I was still in love with my ex....but the sad part is she misunderstood the poem...it wasn't even about the ex.

Anger and mistrust will posion any relationship. I feel she was wrong in her reaction and it seems you do too. The really important thing is does she see that she was wrong or does she still feel she acted appropriately? Does she regret it? Is she genuinely sorry? If she is all those things then you should perhaps let it go. The only thing that can be said of us all is that we are human and make mistakes. Sometimes we have to forgive others for theirs and hope when the time comes we are forgiven for ours. If she isn't then I think you are probably in for a rough road. Trust is a very fragile thing, it takes along time to build and only a momentary lapse to destroy. On the other hand forgiveness takes a great effort, but can yeild great rewards.


-Colly

 

[deezire1900]

Colly

Thank you for the words of wisdom.

She doesn't see anything wrong with it, because it is a public form. I tried to explain, that although it is a public website, we really have no Idea who each other are and that is what keeps it safe. I don't use my real name for a reason.

Maybe I am looking for an excuse?

Deezire

 

[Colleen Thomas]

It's possible you are looking for an excuse. If you have been hurt your mind will build up defense mechanisms to keep you from being hurt again.

Anger on her part for you posting poems to a website under a screen name is however pretty shallow. Especially if she writes as well. She should understand how much getting things down onto paper or the screen means and how much of yourself you project into your works.

In either case you need to discuss it with her. Communication is absolutely vital to any relationship and when misunderstandings occur it is essential. If you cannot get her to see why you are angry then you may find you are just incompatable. On the other hand the thing that makes a mate so much fun is not neccissarily in the similarities, it often lies in the diferences.

I wish you luck.

-Colly

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you.

btw your writings are very hot.

 

[angela146]

... "You don't really love me beacause you wont share this pain with me, but you will post it to a web site." ...

You *did* share the pain with her *by* sending her to the website.

It's perfectly understandable to not be able to say something to someone directly.

Oh, and BTW, you're no alone. I'm am anonymous here, also because I don't want anyone else knowing about "this side of me".

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thank you.

btw your writings are very hot.

Thank you for the compliment

-Colly

 

[curious2c]

Perhaps your special person didn't understand that you were sharing your pain with her by showing her the web site. My thoughts are perhaps a bit tainted due to my thinking process, (male) but I would give her some room, try to talk to her about it, then as hard as it may be for you to do...show her or tell her in each case...perhaps letting her see that which your poetry doesn't say in so many words. Give your love a chance to see that you do care and that just because you posted your inner pains in poetry on a web site doesn't mean that you care any less for her.

I hope that things work out between you both and you both find happiness that you deserve. Prefereably with each other.