Interview With A Dominant

[TheIntrepidBoyager]

Just for fun, I decided to do a Q&A "interview" with my Domme (wife). I'd love to do it again so we welcome questions.

Right now it is posted on my blog: https://theintrepidboyager.blogspot.com/2025/09/interview-with-vam-er-domme_20.html

After I get dinner cooked I'll work on formatting and post it here.

Maybe others want to post their own interviews?

 

[TheIntrepidBoyager]

Okay here we go. Hopefully, it posts well. Because of the character length I have to break it up into two posts.

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BACKSTORY: We’ve been married for 37 years. I’m in my fifties and she is in her sixties.
Back in the 2000’s we got pretty heavy into D/s with her as the Dominant and me as something of a switch.
In hindsight I know that was mainly because I was not fully submitting. I was fighting the bit and was selfish.
We even invited others into our sex life and had a long distance, but occasionally in-person, girlfriend.
But, partly because of my attitude and porn addiction, and various other aspects of life our D/s went dormant. That was until late last year when I started to reintroduce it and she cautiously began to open back up to it. Then in early spring of this year I went all in. I knew this time I had to fully commit. I wrote her a lengthy contract pledging my submission and no small part of that was my surrendering my orgasms wholly and completely to her. I pledged to not masturbate and gave your total ownership.
We’re getting old so we’re not wasting time and we’re having a great time!
I thought interviewing her might be fun for others and also get her to do some reflecting. So here is my interview with my wife, Domme T…

boi: Do you consider yourself a kinky person?
Domme T: Yes

b: When did you first genuinely realize you were kinky?
DT: Honestly? Around nine. I never had fantasies about boys. I always had fantasies about girls and I was always very dominant and they were always very weak and they would do whatever I wanted to make me have an orgasm. I was kinda sadistic and fantasized about pulling their hair, and forcing their face into my pussy and stuff like that. I once thought I was gay but then I realized I’m bisexual cuz I like cock too much.
But, yeah, I’d fantasize and then masturbate my head off. Sometimes even in public.

b: I don’t consider us to be in a true FLR. You’re a Domestic Dominant for sure but on the whole I think there is quite a balance between us. I still think the Mommy/boy dynamic fits us pretty well. How would you describe our relationship?
DT: Ok, well, the Mommy thing is a part of it but the “boy” term makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like the underage connotation. But a young, naive man type? Hell yeah.
We’re pretty 50/50 in most all things. You consider what I like and I consider what you like. I can be very much 80/20, 90/10 or more when it comes to Dominance and submission but I believe we have to be 50/50, at least in communication, to get there.
What I mean is, trust. That’s what I mean. You’re the only person I’ve given 100% of my trust to.

b: BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism and D/s for Domination and submission. These terms are often used together in discussions and are certainly related. But, of these words, which ones do you relate to most and why?
DT: Domination first! It’s about taking back my power. So many fantasies. It’s about overcoming things from my childhood.
I’m definitely a sadist. I like inflicting pain, especially sexually, so long as that trust is there. I’d absolutely inflict pain on others within that context. Especially girls but boys too I guess.
Discipline for sure. With you, because you’re such an alpha, and because I hate to disappoint you, it’s easy for me to be a little submissive just so I don’t disappoint you. So, yeah, I love taking that control. I love taking that away from you and having the power and making you do things for me. I’m not gonna lie, I love that you spoil me. I like that I make you softer and more attentive. And yeah, I like being in control of such an alpha male. It’s a turn on for sure.

b: What is your favorite striking implement?
DT: That just depends on the evilness of my mind at the time. I mean, when I hit you with the Hell Bitch and you jump and cry out and that pain is real…Mmmmm… There’s a part of me that just wants to make you bleed! But, when we use the crop, and it’s not harsh, but it’s pretty harsh on your cock, I like that too. I like my quirt a lot too.

b: We have a number of other BDSM implements, what ones do you like?
DT: Those sounds! Those are so fucking naughty! Not many people shove metal sticks in their dicks and…woosh… those just turn me the fuck on! And the look on your face when we’re doing it? Oh fuck that’s hot! Yeah, I really, really like those.
I like the leather straps on your balls too. I need to use those more I guess but yeah I like those.

b: Your nails are your favorite aren’t they?
DT: Yes. The first time I ever made you bleed, I made you bleed with my nails. In fact, most times I’ve made you bleed it has been with my nails. I love when that happens. Powerful. Sexual.

b: Do you get sexually aroused when you inflict pain?
DT: Depends on how I’m feeling. I would say, 70% of the time yes. 30% of the time I just want to get out some angst. I like being able to use you to make me feel better.

b: We’ve been engaged in chastity, or what I call Regimented Orgasm Control for several months. I haven’t masturbated at all during that time and have only had a fraction of the orgasms I normally would have. Do you enjoy this control?
DT: YES!!! A resounding yes!

b: Does the duration between orgasms excite you or is it just the control in general?
DT: It’s both. 50/50 for sure. I mean seriously think about it… That I’m a woman and can control that…? I mean… Damn… I mean when you cum but don’t actually cum ya know what I mean? When you don’t have the pleasure but all the cum runs out? That is amazing. You know what I mean, like when your prostate gets rubbed and the cum pours out like glue. That is so cool. That only happens when you don’t cum for a good while.
Also, that reminds me, I never knew you were such an anal whore as you are. I knew you liked it but I didn’t realize just how much. Whore. I sometimes wonder if you weren’t queer in another life…

b: How do you feel when you fuck my ass?
DT: Wow… Sadistic. Dominant. Pleasure. I mean I really enjoy it and am really comfortable with it this time around. Yeah… I like it. A lot!

b: We don’t use a chastity device and you’ve been clear about not wanting me in one. Why?
DT: We’ve both talked about that for the long term and I don’t think it’s sanitary. I mean, maybe for a scene or something specific but all the time? No. Besides, to be honest, I think they’re ugly. I’d rather see it in leather and stuff not that plastic. And I like having free access to my Phillip (her pet name for my penis). I like to look at it and tease it and scratch it and slap it and all those things whenever I want without something in the way.

b: I enjoy humiliation. Is it hard for you to engage in that or do you enjoy it? Even if it is deep down?
DT: That’s a tough one… I know I shouldn’t but… In a public place? Yeah, I kinda get rocking on that. I mean, going into the store with you (panty shopping), you were shaking and I was feeling like Queen Sheeba. Hell yeah I liked it! I was going through that store feeling totally in charge. I liked making you feel humiliated. Yes, I enjoy it.

b: Be honest, do I have a small penis?
DT: No. I think you have an average penis. I really truly do. I mean for sure you’re on the low end of average. But sometimes it does look like a little clitty popping out. Especially when I first pull down your panties. I love that. I like that it can just touch the back of my throat but not make me gag. Besides, either way, that’s my clitty!

b: Deep down, is there a part of you that enjoys telling me it’s small?
DT: Yes, I do sometimes. Well… I mean… yes. Just yes.

 

[TheIntrepidBoyager]

continued...

b: For various reasons, we took a break from D/s for a while and as soon as we got back into it, you almost immediately put me in panties. In fact, every pair of panties I currently have, you provided. Why did you want to get me wearing panities so early?
DT: I don’t know. I honestly can’t answer that. I just know it turns my crank! I like emasculating you. You like to be emasculated.

b: You insist on me wearing panties pretty much at all times and often pick them out for me to wear the next day. Why do you want me wearing them at all times?
DT: Maybe because I can make you do it. It’s fun and I love seeing your cock and balls in them. I can’t explain it but I love it. It’s a serious turn on. Maybe it has something to do with all those girl fantasies. I don’t know. It just makes me happy. That’s it. Besides, you like it.

b: You also insist on me hand washing them. That started by necessity because of the delicate ones you gave me, but it continues. I rigged up a small clothes line in the bathroom to hang them up to dry. Seeing a pair hanging there each morning has become a serious requirement for you. Why?
DT: Because, again, it makes me happy and it is a great way to start my day. It’s a good strong feeling. There’s “my” panties. It’s a discipline thing and you take it seriously and I enjoy that commitment. I enjoy the symbol of your commitment.

b: You’ve repeatedly said I’m not, nor do you want me to be, a crossdresser yet there’s the panties and the occasional nail painting. Is this just for humiliation and to keep my ego in check?
DT: Yes. I just can’t put you as a crossdresser in my mind. Panties yeah. I mean, I dig drag queens but you’re not that. Yeah, we’ll stick with what I’m doing.

b: What are some names or terms you would use to describe me?
DT: Bratty. Adventurous. Slutty. You’re losing your “bottom from the top” and I really appreciate that. So, submissive for sure, but genuine.

b: What are aspects of D/s that you’d like to explore further?
DT: The things I’m doing right now I’m really happy with. I mean I see some different implements that I really like. Oh, I saw one called the snake’s tongue that I really liked. It just looks mean. But anyway… I don’t know. I need to think about it. I just do what I want when I want. Maybe more discipline. And those ruined orgasms. Those intrigue me…

b: What behaviors or actions do you think I can improve on to enhance our D/s relationship and your happiness?
DT: I don’t know, as long as I get to whack the shit out of you I’m good! Hahaha! Seriously, when I hurt you, and it bleeds or it welts or whatever and I know it really hurts, then it turns my fucking crank and I like it. That’s what I want more of. And for you to keep being attentive and sincerely submissive.

b: What is one fantasy, in or out of D/s, that you would love to fulfill even if you won’t?
DT: I have a few but I’m not sure I’m ready to share those yet. I have a few for sure. You’re in a good 80% of them though and sometimes you’re super submissive even if I’m ordering you to do things to other people. Some are with girls. Some are with boys. But yeah, I’m not sure I’m ready to share those with the outside world yet. Some primeval shit sometimes though…
There’s one where you’re like an alpha sub in charge of like ten other subs. Boys and girls and you all serve me and do what I say and pamper me…
Anyway, maybe another time I’ll share more of them for people to read but not just now.

b: What questions do you have for me?
DT: I need to think about that. That’ll give us more for another time.