internet dating-fantasy vs. reality

[luvpats4unme]

As a new poster to this board and from reading alot of these personals and as someone who has had a number of internet dates and experiences including travelling to meet individuals within the US I would like to chip in my two cents worth. Although I have not found the "right one" I have met some fantastic individuals plus some jerks but that is to be expected no matter where you meet people whether it be at church, socials, group meetings, outings, etc. etc. I feel the difference is that on the internet you can be anything you want to be and the other person can be anything they want to be or what you may want them to be. Since it is not face-to-face there is a greater chance of "fantasy" taking precedence over "reality". Although you can also not be yourself in person but then there is the "body language" reality taking over when you are actually in a situation where there is in-person interaction. So what I have learned is:

a) Honesty is still the best policy. . .be honest right up front. . .true the other individual who is "chatting" with you can't see your body language however the problem is that if you start not being yourself even on line that will roll over to not being yourself in person as you will start adapting your on-line persona even in person and it will be evident in your body language. . .

b) Get to know the other person from the inside and open up and let them get to know you from what you have to offer from your heart. . .forget about size, measurements, that you think you are great in bed, etc. etc. in the end it is what's in the heart, mind and soul that counts and it is ultimately what you will wind up being with and communicating with in person

c) make intimacy the secondary issue. . .if there is a connection it will happen. . .go with the flow don't force the issue be patient in time if it is meant to be then it will happen. . .if you concentrate on getting to know each other and honesty and you connect then intimacy is a given. . .

so in conclusion when placing an internet ad here or any other site my opinion is to be as realistic and honest as possible. . .be yourself and as up-front and straight-up as possible. . .and don't expect a boatload of replies or that you will find the right one. . .
it is just that the more honest you are the more likely you are to be yourself if and when you do meet that individual in person and then you will have a successful meeting. . .and you will have a greater probability of finding what you are looking for. . .

just my opinions best wishes to everyone from Richard

 

[nastyocnan]

thoughtful post

thanks for reminding us to use common sense - which can be hard when you're horny. Nice to know you're in the neighborhood.